Goodbye ESA + Old fine Scout

Heya!

So on the day after Christmas, I did the old fine scout (and did a recording as well cuz why not), but I also have something important to tell you guys today, which I will save for at the end of this post.

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First is the scout!

I wouldn't say my scout is so spectacular, but it's pretty decent. I did get Eichi and Tsumugi, but I also wanted Hiyori and Nagisa as well since this revival scout is my only way of getting them without having to play the events (and how I also want to complete ex-fine). I also wanted Mad Hatter Eichi as well since that's his dream card of mine. I guess you can say that I'm expecting too much from one scout. But hey, I got Cheshire Cat Ritsu twice, so that should make up for it!

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Last is my farewell here.

If I , back in September I had said that I will be less active by hours. Yes, that happened, but something came up and it's preventing me from coming back here ever again.

So I have no choice but to leave ESA.

I'm not going extremly in depth about it (even though I may because I feel like every explanation must have a valid reason) since this is something personal that I want to keep to myself, but for anyone who is curious, I will try to keep it short: Family Issues

Due to that, I cannot come back here. This problem has been going on since September, and I feel like that staying here is not a good choice when my family is having an issue right now. And one of them is me being on Amino. I've been thinking about it every day and night.

Tonight, I will leave when the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Day.

I really don't want to leave this place. It hurts me by just thinking about it. But New Year's Day is when we all start fresh for the new year, and I want to do that by leaving first. It's the first step to resolve my family issue. Then I need to go and learn more about myself. Before she left, a great friend of mine told me that I should go and discover who I want to be. I need to take a step back from that first because I am not sure what I want to be in the future. I need to do some self discovery first to get to know myself better. I am thinking this is an opportunity to not just learn about myself, but open up to others. I'm hoping that on 2019 I can take this year and the following years to come to make this happen: Fix my issues and improve myself.

Please don't freak out now since our mod team is extremely inactive and that we are low on mods, but I will make sure the mod team finds a way to get them all back and running when I'm gone. I don't see any problems going on here since this place has started to become more quiet, so there is nothing to worry about any conflicts between here. And I want to keep it that way. I am asking that you all make sure this place stays as a kind, friendly, and safe environment for everyone to enjoy. That's all I will ask of you guys.

I am truly and greatly sorry for leaving, but I am hoping that everyone here will be fine without me. If possible, I am hoping to come back one day, but that is just a wish that will take decades to grant. I may or may not be returning back because of my issue, but I do hope I get to see everyone again at a different place. Or perhaps 10+ years later when I have more freedom and get to explore the outside world myself (if ESA is still up, of course! I would love to see its improvement if I come back 10 or more years later).

I treasure ESA since this is the best amino I have ever been. It's also the first one I ed too.

Thank you Sorakawa, Sweetbird, and Shinobubu for creating this place. I'm also grateful to be part of the mod team as well, and even though I didn't get to do much except feature posts (since this place is barely active), I'm still glad to have the position as Leader for 4 months. If ESA wasn't even made in the first place, then I wouldn't even have made any friends here or get to know the people I see here now. Thank you for helping me whenever I have a problem here, and I'm glad that I got to help you three as well. I do have one last favor to ask though: Please start the Curator Applications again. With a small mod team, not much security is being put on this amino. A bigger team will surely help keep the security rate high and also boost activity rates here. I'm so sorry about this sudden leave, but I know the remaining of the mod team can work together with or without me and the other past . Oh, and Chalk, I'm sorry that you're now the remaining active mod here, but I know you can handle this! There isn't much to do during this time because everyone is at school. But when summer approaches... that's when this place is active again and calls for the mods when trouble arises. So try to bring the leaders back and discuss about running Curator Apllications again. The reason would be because the mod team is short on and that we will need a high security when summer approaches and when this place is growing. Plus, this place needs to be more active again, so there will have to be more events going on here to keep people wanting to come here. I am also sorry I didn't tell you guys about this in a pm. I didn't want to tell you guys earlier about this and what I wanted to be done once I leave since it might cause more problems, so instead, I left this in a letter on this blog to explain about not just my absence, but also my gratitude to you guys and this place. I hope you forgive me for not telling you guys in advance. Please to take care of yourselves since ESA and the people that you place importance in your life are going to need you. I am hoping that one day I will see you all again.

I also want to say thanks to my friends that I've made here. Especially Sai and Hikari, who I have been friends with for a year now. Even though things are getting tough between us now, I hope we will all be okay when we separate from each other. I've enjoyed all the hours and days I spent with them, and I'm glad I made friends here, or else I wouldn't be where I am as of now! Though, I wish that they would be happy when we part ways. I, along with Sai, may be gone, but we all hope that we all stay happy and each other. Hikari! I am sorry to call you out at a moment like this, but even though Sai and I are gone on ESA, please don't get mad and start hating us for this. You know our reasons as to why we left. We want you to be happy and always keep a smile on your face! Please don't cry. I may not be here, but you can always me on LINE, okay? Even though the normal version takes up a lot of storage, you can always the Lite version. I won't be gone forever. Just send me a text whenever you want to. Also, your other friends you've made here! It wouldn't hurt to talk to them again. You share common interests with them, so go discuss about it with them! Perhaps you can even form a new trio with them, just like how me, you, and Sai did last year. And hey, you may make new friends here as well! And they may be better than me as well, eheheh... But I want you to keep in mind that I am leaving not because of this place, but from some outside force that prevents me from coming back. This isn't bad luck. We are doing this to take care of each other so that when we meet again, we are a new and improved version of ourselves from this tedious journey of being away. (You can imagine it like how it is in Touken Ranbu on where you send your swords off for some amount of time and then come back as a new and improved version of themselves, which is their Kiwame form! It's like what Sai and I are doing on our own Lol. All three of us will meet up again in our "Kiwame" form when we see each other again!) Perhaps we may even see each other in person one day when we're all grown up! With every problem, think of its positive side first! That's what a fortune had told me before, and it is true for everyone! But I'm sorry that I didn't text you on the last few days before this and on my departure, and I hope you will forgive me for that. This problem has been wrapped around my head ever since and I had to make sure if my emotions and mental state can endure this. (Plus, I think it's better to leave this letter for you before I leave instead of just vanishing out of nowhere or even telling you in advance where you will get very upset and mad at me) Please take care of yourself and the people you care about (and even the ones who care about you). I still want to see you again when we find each other somewhere or send a text on LINE. Don't be scared now since we are gone now. I know you are strong! And don't tell me that you are weak and that I'm wrong because deep down, you have an inner strength that is waiting to be awaken inside you. You may not notice it until it's unleashed. Don't worry about me because I will make sure that I will be okay when I'm away! Oh and, don't forget, love yourself! Both Sai and I care about you, and we want to see you happy when we all find each other again! I will never forget about you while I'm off. Thank you for being a part of my life.

And for everyone else, thank you for brightening up ESA and making it the way it is as of now. All of you are unique and special, and I love the content being posted here to keep everyone waiting out for what is new with every member. Please keep it up and continue making this a fun and safe environment for everyone.

It's going to be tough to leave this place since I made lots of memories here. I may be tempted to come back if I leave. But I am making a fateful decision here. I'm leaving for my own sake and my family.

I wish I was able to spend more time here to get to know everyone and talk with my friends more, but all of those minutes have been used up with my own personal life and thinking about this decision of mine.

I'm glad to find this place and make good memories here with the mods and my friends. I will never forget it.

Please don't lose hope on this place and the mod team. I know this place has been extremely inactive lately and is close to being considered as "dead", but that doesn't mean that we are falling apart. We will always stick together, physically and mentally. I want to see everyone have bright smiles on their face full with joy. Whether it's from getting their best boy, getting their post featured, getting a gift, or something that makes you smile with pure happiness. While you guys squeal with glee and beam, I will make sure that I am happy for the rest of the years in my life, whether I get best boy from the gacha, receive a gift, or just genuinely smile from something that brings me joy while I am away from here.

I am hoping one day that we can meet again. Not just on ESA or Amino, but somewhere else where we can both smile, squeal, and cry together out of pure joy.

If anybody still wants to talk to me, you can me on LINE or on LINE PLAY!

LINE ID: idolanimekpopwannabe

LINE PLAY Avatar Code: TX-0297-1204

Happy New Year, and I hope that everyone's years will bring great blessings!

This is Leader Kana g out for the last time. I will miss you all and ESA. Please take very good care of this place, everyone!

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A fellow member of ESA from November 25th, 2017 to January 1st, 2019.

A fellow Leader of ESA from August 2nd, 2018 to January 1st, 2019.