Bit of an update: why I haven't been around a whole lot

HeY fAM

I uh, Ive been away a lot :,)

Not posting much art and stuff, it's cause of a few reasons actually I wanted to explain

I probably should add to my name that I'm on partial hiatus which I'll do after this is up pff

To introduce what I'll be explaining, basically since I'm ending school like, sooner than ever before, my major projects are due in just weeks

And also there's something wrong with my human style that I've been trying to fix but I'll get to that later

At the beggining of the year, yeah I discovered something amazing about myself...

which is that I've been a closeted otAkU this entIRE timE Ive been alivE like seriously?!? I loved a lot of things when I was younger that origionated from Japan, Astro Boy, Speed Racer, I really wanted to get into Kimba the lion but could never find it in the video stores, Ghibli movies shows like Pokemon (ofc no big surprise) and Deltora Quest and Monsuno just to name a few, these were amongst my favorite things growing up lmao.

Thankfully the discovery and utter relentless jibber jabber about Attack On Titan from Tahla brought me to realise this and I was brought into a new era of my life when I was about to fall into heartbreak (again)

So yeah, this amino and AOT in general is really important to me which is why the minute I graduate I want to be more active in this community, Ive met some great friends here I can't leave em behinndddd

But recently it's been a bit hard to get involved and I'm only jUST able to participate in the Visionary Guild's work, which I'm trying my best to get done on time

To breifly explain i have 3 (technically 4) major projects due rather soon, a whole set design for drama along with a performance and log books for both, a 4 minute animation also with a log book and 14 artworks with logbook also

There is a lot of work to do and not much time

At this point the set design and performances with log books is due in just 3-4 days, I'm almost finished but if I slow down I won't finish

The animation is due in about 4-5 weeks or so, as sOON as I finish my set design I nEED to focus greatly on that, I haven't much expirience on animation and I haven't done much, I'm barely halfway and I've had a year to prepare all of these projects, I guess that's the price you pay for procrastination aye :,)

And finally the 14 artworks are due in about 8 weeks, still got a lot of time for that but I know it'll creep up on me.

One thing I'm thankful is the time difference between finishing these projects, I have a solid 4 weeks to work on my animation and an extra 2-3 after that for art, if I stay home and get stuck in I'll finish them

Projects are hard for me as I have pretty bad commitment issues with them, Ive started projects in the past and that often fails due to loosing interest but since I kind of have to actually complete these projects to school if I don't want to do it all again in a repeat year, I have to work hard and efficiently.

Thus most of the reason why I've been gone mostly (and loosing streaks) I don't have much time to spend on social media and working on personal content alone takes up way too much time.

Stress is at an extremity for me rn cause every moment I spend not working on my projects I get anxious, upset and angry, just typing this out is making me too worried but I thought you deserved to know.

I'll be finished my projects when I graduate, the 26th of September, well I'll finish a bit before that but in case something needs fixing afterwards or my English subject does like full on test study things with a lot of homework, it's safe to say I'll be finished for the most part on the 26th.

STILL THO I'M NOT REALLY FINISHED UNTIL THE 9TH OF NOVEMBER UGHHHHHH

I do my final exams aFTER I graduate, so yes I'm home a majority of the time, at least until I do actually have to go to my school to take my exams but y'know, I still have to study for them so I and get my High School Certificate (HSC). The 8th of November is my last exam but I have a concert to go to that night also so pFF I'll probably be exhausted the next day BUT I'LL BE FREE SO :,)

During this time between September and November I'll still be away but I can relax a WHOLE LOT MORE which I'm plus ultra happy about and I honestly can't wait!

I'm running on low battery as it is, I desperately need a break but I know that if I take a week to relax now that could be time to work on my projects so it's best to just keep pushing til the end.

Sadly the animation and artworks have nothing to do with anime so my ion for it has died off a little since as of right now all I want to dO is draw anime characters so I can draw them properly and make funny comics and just have fun! Instead they are based off one of my favorite bands Twenty One Pilots, thank goD at least it's still something I enjoy but, damit I have an itch that I can't scratch.

(Actually I needed some extra characters for my animation and I ended up throwing Connie, Sasha, Petra, Bertolt, Eren and Armin from AOT in there along with Kirishima, Sero, Todoroki and Denki from My Hero Academia and Emma from The Promised Neverland in there also heheh so at least I can actually draw sOme characters in my animation uvu)

Which brings me to my next point, why I haven't been posting as much, yes there's a different reason at play.

Throughout the year I should've been working a bit harder on my projects but I have miniature moments where I can actually work on something personal, those moments have dwindled very thin as I get closer to the due dates of my projects but I always made sure to draw something for ME when things get a bit tough and I need a break from drawing or making the same thing over and over again.

The main problem is that my human style ain't up to par with what I thought it was, yes I'm still proud of some things I've drawn but I've come to realise while animating is that it's rather stagnant and stiff, I payed too much attention on making faces look anatomically correct than stylisation. It's weighed more heavily than anticipated and I can't just keep drawing with a broken style, I noticed this when getting into MHA and trying to draw the characters, they just,,, don't look right and it's really hard to draw faces easily.

Mind you I actually didn't start drawing people until 2015, and it was only 2017 when I rEALLY started trying. Yes I drew previously to that I've been drawing since I could hold a pencil but I was drawing animals before, stylised mythical creatures and wolves and horses etc (no not Jean heheh) so yeah I still have a long way to go til my style is met up with the skill of the way I draw creatures, and it's been annoying me.

Like expressions?? I can't draw them, smiling or angry or laughing I caN'T like it doESN'T wORK with my stylE uGHH so when I want to draw a happy Denki or a really angry Eren I can't, it looks awkward and horrible and it's really frustrating. The problem is I can't exactly sit down and focus on fixing it either cause if my style ends up changing drastically it can effect my animation and artworks greatly, plus I don't have the time to fix it, so frankly I haven't been drawing a lot apart from what I need to for my projects, and I'd say I wouldn't expect anything from me for a good while until I come back confidently with a style that works and actually functions.

Don't get me wrong I'll post the steps and my practises and journey through that and I'll still create art for this community to see, there's nothing stopping me from that but I guess what I'm trying to say is, you won't see anything actually good or worth while til that happens

I have anatomy down, I just need to loosen up a bit and make suRE that people look natural, in proportion and stylised :,)

That's pretty much all for this update, I might edit this with images later but for now I just want to get this out, I should go back to finishing my set design anyways so ooft I'll see you guys around :,)

Again I'll still be as active as I can be for the Visionary Guild but it'll be hard to get anything else out, as long as my projects are still due

Hope you guys are doing good and sorry if this was long, im bad at explaining things in short so yeah, stay safe guys and dw I'll be back!! Just need some time and a bit of patience on my part :,) it ligit hurts me to be away from this community hH

Background is from the AOT junior high manga :sparkles: