Rant

I didn’t write this but I very much agree

Why Zutara over Kataang?

First off, I'm going to start with Katara and Aang. Before I do, let me repeat that this is all based off of my beliefs and opinions. Katara is a maternal figure that takes care of all the of the group, the only characters excluded were Zuko and Suki (I'll get into that later). She was most maternal towards Aang. She treated him like a son, a brother, and a god-like hero. Very rarely, I want to say twice (the headband being the only time that came to mind), has she treated him like someone she was genuinely attracted to. Sure Mae Whitman SAID that there was a crush, but the staff behind A:tLA failed to SHOW that connection. In the hierarchy of their team, Katara was mother/sister, Aang was child (and a self itted one at that).

There was no equality in the relationship, at all. Katara either treated him as her son/baby brother, a status lower than hers, or she treated him like her hero, a status higher then hers. In order for a relationship to work, there has to be an emotional equality. Kataang does not have this and never has this equality ever been shown.

Relationships are give and take, but in the relationship between Katara and Aang, all she does is give, and all Aang ever does is take. Katara's the one that gives Aang love, , guidance, she tends to his needs on all fronts and so much more, but Aang doesn't always return the favor. He doesn't even need to return all these things in this fashion. For one, he could try to need her less and be able to function on his own, which it has been shown he really can't. Another thing could be to take over some of her chores, relieve some of her stresses so she could finally take some time for herself.

Katara devotes all her time to the others because she knows they need her and Katara can never turn her back on those that need her, but she needs time for herself or she'll break. That's not fiction, it's a fact. I've watched many people like her, myself included, stretched too thin and reaching explosive meltdowns because eventually it becomes too much. And it's not just Aang that does it, it's everyone in the team (minus Zuko, but I'll get into that later too). With that being said though, Aang, who wishes to be Katara's lover needs to step up and help for once. Katara is not some house frow that wants to spend all her days in the kitchen and keeping house. She's not a maid, nor has she made the choice to be a housewife. She made the choice to do the chores and take care of the others because no one else would. If Aang loves her, he would find a way to help her.

Another thing is that Aang forces himself onto Katara and that's not right no matter who you are. Yes, I'm talking about the kisses on the lips that Aang forced onto Katara. It pissed me off that he completely and totally disregarded Katara's feelings on the matter of her's and Aang's relationship for the sake of his own. As a girl who's had to deal with boys like that, it's a terrible feeling to have yourself forced on in any way. Sure it was just a kiss, but the act was done without her concent and he should know better than that. That was the second time he'd forced his feelings onto her, and the first time it irked me. During the day of Black Sun I let it slide because of the situation (though I was still mad at him), but he did it again without any reason other than to make himself feel better.

In the case of the East Ember Island Players, he didn't ask why she was confused. He didn't offer to give Katara her space so she could legitimately think about it. He just forced himself onto her, which is a violation of her and her choice in the matter. I understand that he was very emotional at the time, but being on the recieving end of that stupidity is no picnic, believe me.

Unfortunately in Katara's case she didn't have the luxury of giving Aang the swift kick in the knads like he deserved as I did one of the times I was in that situation. When a friend does it you're torn and you feel worse because they're your friend, but the anger is still there. It's almost better when a stranger does it because you're not so concerned about the other person's feelings on the matter.

Now I'm going to get into the Southern Raiders episode, was it an episode with the intention of ruining Zutara? Yes. Did it backpedal on both Katara's and Zuko's personal development? Yes. Did the show succeed in destroying Zutara? No. The episode did the opposite, it put another crack in the moldings of Kataang and added another link in the chainmail of Zutara. Aang behaved like a hypocrite in that episode. How many times has he gone into the Avatar State because of his anger; two examples would be learning about the Air Nomads and Appa? How many times has he preached forgiveness, but then turned around and acted like a child throwing a tantrum (again, Appa). Isn't he technically getting his revenge by dethroning the Fire Lord and putting an end to the war? Why can't Katara get that? She's suffered just as much. Both Aang and Zuko both understood her pain, but they behaved differently. As GreenifyMe said, Aang acted like a moral beacon, attempting to blind Katara from any other choice in the matter. Zuko acted like a moral com, giving Katara the choice. Did she make the wrong choice? Probably, but she was given the choice and that's what's important in the relationships between the three of them. Zuko stood by her, not Aang. (Allow me the time to squee over the wonderful hug and the only hug where the arms go around the waist; SQUEEEEEE!!!!!)

Now I'm gonna get started on Zutara from season 1, to the season 3 finale. In the first season, the foundation for the relationship was laid, but both Zuko and Katara had a lot of growing to do if they were ever going to be in a relationship of ANY kind. Sure they have the opposite element thing going for them, (fire and water are compatible elements, regardless of what people say. That is what I believe anyway). But the strength of a relationship is actually depicted by their similarities.

As the series progressed, a lot of similarities between them became evident. In accordance to my health, psychology, and personal experience, the more a couple has in common the stronger the relationship will be. Their personalities are the very much the same. They're ionate people that look at the overall picture and the little pieces. This is more so as the show progresses. They're always learning and always striving to better themselves for their own sakes and the sakes of others (Zuko for the Fire Nation. Katara for her friends and family). They have a strong sense of what's right, wrong, and necessary in times of peace and war. Both are honorable and put their own needs aside for the needs of others. Both are denied the luxury of being children/teenagers. They had to grow up. Both took spirit alter egos and risked their own lives for the sake of others even though it's something that the others in their respective teams were against (the Gaang was against it to start; Iroh didn't approve of the Blue Spirit). Both take the parent roles of the group (when Zuko s the Gaang). The list could go on as more about the characters are revealed. They have much to bond over and they learn from each other, which is VERY important for a relationship to grow. Sure, some of these similarities Katara shares with Aang, but going back up to the issues with choice and equality shows that Kataang falls behind Zutara in the race.

In every interaction Zuko and Katara had, they grew closer in that they had an intimate understanding of each other. They knew each others strengths and weaknesses. Also, their relationship grew the most. They went from enemies to friends, sharing an intimacy between one another that they don't have with anyone else. In the Crossroads of Destiny, Katara didn't have to be strong for the sake of others. She didn't' have to take care of anyone. She didn't have to put on a mask that said everything was okay. She was able to be herself; hurt, miserable, alone. The same could be said about Zuko. They connected. They communicated. They didn't even need to be talking about each other's mothers. The importance of that scene laid within the fact that Katara's "enemy" out of everyone else listened to her, something that not even Aang had done. Why else would the betrayal hurt her so much, there has to be feelings there in order for them to be hurt the way that they were.

If a relationship is to work and last, it requires give and take. Katara and Zuko listen to each other, share their pains and strive to prove themselves to one another. There's a level of intimacy and trust between the two that the show even establishes. The two are a team, both physically and mentally. They are as similar to each other as they are opposites. The characters were designed with the other in mind. However, with Aang, Katara has to compensate for his emotional shortcomings. He is a child in all senses of the word and she has taken the role of his mother. The two don't mesh together without thoroughly explained instructions for him. They don't fit. Besides, Katara and Zuko treat each other like equals even when they hated each other (my observations; though some may believe otherwise) and that is very important too, almost more so. They listen to one another and relate without making the attempt to fix the other (I'm talking mental/personal problems, not physical).

There's also the issue of respect. Zuko seemed to respect Katara more within the series and he trusted her more. Unlike Aang who forced kisses onto her (that's beyond disrespectful, you don't do that to anyone regardless of who you are) and when he demands that she doesn't go find the man that killed her mother. He didn't trust her to make the right decision and was robbing her of her choice in the matter. Zuko understood what she needed, the closure that came with the answer of who and why.

In a romantic relationship there are three important things; sex, intimacy, and communication. Zutara is born from the development and the growth of trust while kataang seems to be born from a misunderstanding of love. Katara loves Aang, but not in the way he wants and until the final episode nothing has been done to show otherwise. All of which falls into the realm of communication. Kataang doesn't have much of it while Zutara has the most communication and through it they have intimacy. In every episode from Katara's forgiving Zuko, they've become almost inseperable and their relationship flourished to something that Kataang doesn't have. Communication is 65% body language and the two interact without words seamlessly. Simple looks and gestures; Zuko resting his hand on Katara's shoulder; sleeping near each other (though on separate legs on Appa). Through their communication is born an intimacy that is only seen between Sokka and Suki, a romantic couple. Sex is the third most important thing in a relationship (and that's a low third) and Zutara definitely would have that. I think the voices of all Zutara fans, be they the shallow ones or the thinking ones sum this bit up beautifully.