To someone I loved deeply at some point

I have tried to put words

to the ways that you betrayed me.

But I simply can’t.

When I try to do so,

my breath quickens,

and I crumble to the ground,

knowing that even though

you never cared as much as I,

I cared so much more

that at some point, you did.

I still wear the golden hoops

you got me, floating over my shoulders,

but I don’t wear our friendship bracelet—

I don’t want it anymore.

I still think about how he put

his hands on your legs

and how you corresponded.

It’s not that you did it—

it’s the fact

that you made me believe

I didn’t see.

When I tried to solve the puzzle

and I asked you for a clue,

I gave away my eyes

as I confirmed my suspicions.

Yet you asked me how I was—

you were concerned with my concern,

and I pretended I didn’t know.

I pretended once again.

You took away my self-confidence,

you took away my self-esteem.

I cover the mirrors on the walls—

I feel ugly, I feel broke.

You knew the cost of our friendship.

You could have chosen anyone,

but you made your choice,

to do it with who it would hurt more

and now I don’t feel whole.

I am not whole anymore.

Pics are mine