'Love yourself' is different from 'Selfishness' | discussion

17.O2.24

What are you doing? Or rather, what have you been doing these days?

Life gets busier as we grow older. The things we once used to hold the dearest to our hearts are not so precious anymore. I recently cleaning my cupboard and removing the 'frozen' posters of the dream room I was adamant on having when I got older. Things change. Preferences change. Everything seems like a phase at one point.

When we think of our younger selves, we cringe a little, we laugh a little, we feel sad too of not understanding what was good for us soon, of not removing the toxic people sooner, of making the same mistakes yet again and again, of being fools to not stand up for ourselves when we should have, of not speaking up when the speaker was only spreading hate and lies.

But to have these thoughts is the proof of you've grown, you've evolved, you've come to know your beliefs and what you stand for.

We came across the idea of 'Love yourself' years ago through BTS. It was like a candle of hope lit in the darkest room for other candles to ignite themselves from it. But now the idea is of the motto has long stretched from it original roots.

You love yourself when you are yourself

when you keep it real, when you don't let others determine what you deserve or what you're capable of, you love yourself when you embrace your flaws and grow with them.

Flaws are not mistakes. Flaws are inherent. Mistakes are what you make.

You are not loving yourself if you live with the idea if 'I'm fine with making mistakes because that's just how I am, I can't help it. It's my flaw, I embrace it.'

No, that is not a flaw. You have to change that mindset, not instantly but step by step however long it may take but you need to realize that is the wrong notion. When you can correct something, you can do better, then if somebody pushes you to the limits of doing it, don't start hating on them.

The world's become such a sensitive place, nowadays. Everyone's afraid of what the other person may think if they point out that what they are doing is wrong and their excuses are no justifications for it and that they lack logical sense, the few on the right track back away from saying anything because the others have a majority backing them..But silence is not the answer, that's not how it's supposed to be, you're supposed to stand up what is right and what is morale.

There is a way of giving criticism and there's a way of receiving it. You can turn negative criticism into positive if you look at it with an optimistic approach and vice versa.

It's human psychology that the way a person has been treated since childhood, they adapt to the way of being treated like that everywhere but when your safety bubble pops and you come to face the real world, you realise that not everybody's the same and not everybody's going to treat you the same and for that you must prepare yourself in advance, because that's just how life is. If you don't teach yourself or understand the way of living, life will teach it and it will be harsher.

Be open to , it's not 'throwing hate'. When you actually listen to someone and try to understand what they mean, keeping aside all prejudices, you will realise that that could be a good suggestion, an advice quoted wrongly, but something probably for your own sake.

There's this quote by Viktor Frankl that I really like and fits here well, as far as I it goes like:

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our ability to choose our response. In that response lies our growth.

If the comments of the people are extremely negative, ignore them instead of wasting time on useless people who are contributing nothing to your growth. Take the backslash as a challenge, prove them wrong. Well, that exactly what BTS did.

Selfishness, the other part of the discussion is when you're too self indulged. When you think that keeping yourself the first priority is the best you can do which is actually partially correct but not completely because then you become selfish.

You do everything for yourself, you grab opportunities, you buy things you like, you dress up well, you treat yourself every weekend, you praise yourself highly, and all of that sound pretty good, doesn't it?

Now, think about it this way:

What if you do something for the people who you love and the people that love? Love can only be found in adversity.

What if you let go of an opportunity that doesn't mean much to you but the other person's entire life depends on that single thing? An opportunity doesn't come twice, but that's not the end because when you leave something for the better purpose, a better opportunity comes your way.

When you buy things for yourself, how wonderful would it be to buys another little thing that doesn't cost much for somebody poor who cannot even afford that? Their wishes, their happiness doubles the doer's, believe me.

When you praise yourself, how about you praise the people around you, too? The little deed can bring a smile on their face, no matter how terrible the day might be going.

Happiness shared is happiness doubled!

Love yourself and love others, spread love. Let it be a cycle. First heal yourself, then heal others. Take out time for yourself and little for your loved ones too. Treat yourself with kindness, be a little lenient when dealing with work, you've got this.