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Hi everyone, welcome to my blog.Hi everyone, today I'm back with an entry for the #sotw. I'm reallly happy take part in this challenge as Truth untold has been my all time favorite. And most importantly I was able to relatea lot with the song.. I've tried my level best to get my points through clearly and please bear with my poor editing skills!
About
The Truth Untold is a single sung by the four vocalists (Jin, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook)of BTS.
This was released on 18th of May, 2018 under Big Hit Entertainment(now Hybe Labels).
It is available in 4 different versions and 11 differen tracks.
It was written by Steve Aoki, Ronald Spreckley, Annika Wells and few other along with BTS' leader Rm.
This was produced by Pdogg.
The song is 4 minutes and 3 seconds long.
The Title the truth untold
![The truth untold - A Broken Mask-[IMG=UZ1]
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Truth untold is such a beautiful song with deep and resonating meaning. The word untold folds a very good meaning that i belive no other title would have suited the song better.
![The truth untold - A Broken Mask-[IMG=UZ1]
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Untold refers to not revealing somethjng. Similarly in the song too the protagonist does not reveal his true self thinking that the person he loves too will starting looking at him like a monster. This may be due to the fact that he is taught that way,or he is pushed to do so or he is just insecure. I choose to belive it all starts with the way of being taught that we start getting insecure. Since our childhood we are taught to be a specific way and if something seems strange or different we start feeling insecure because that's what we are being taught.
The way the lyrics have been written wonderfully nateches with the title too. Just like how the title says "Untold" there are so many things untold in our life. Take a kpop idol as an example. He/she is expected to wear make up, dresse neatly, behave in a sophisticated way and stuff..but something goes wrong one day, then that comes to the lime light, what for? Why bother? No idea. They are idols and should behave in a certain way.
The society has turned so much materialistic that people have to think even before wearing make up. We on comments masking it up with the title "joking" but hurting the person being commented on in the process.
I'm not sayjng this is the only reason for insecurities but this is one of the main reasons of insecurities. Like how the protagonist fails to unmask himself in the right moment and how he wears the mask without having anybody to tell to, getting suffocated to death it all matches quiet good with the title. I honestly think The Truth Untold is the best title for the songggg
Serendipity and The truth untold are both talking about a not so accidental love. In both the songs they sing about expressing their love towards their loved one. In both the songs they love the other person so much that they are scared of getting separated for their loved one. I love how both the songs deliver almost the smae meaning yet they are different.
Lyrics appreciation
Verse 1, V
full of loneliness
this garden bloomed
full of thorns
I bind myself in this sandcastle
the song begins with V singing "full of loneliness" it indicates how much alone being insecure has got him. Maybe he thinks he is insecure because of the way he is. This is in reference with an Italian story that talks about the insecurity of a man for the looks he had possessed and how he was not able to get the love of his life till the very end because of his insecurity. He states he is lonely, and the garden that is to be filled with flowers is filled supposedly filled with thorns instead. Garden here is the protagonist's heart and thorns is the insecurities that bloom no matter how hard he tries not to. Thorns are always stingy which is used as a metaphor for insecurities and negative thoughts that creep into our heart.
World has always been materialistic. No matter what we do, end of the day we get picked on for something that we have no control over. We want things to be in a specific way, or better in a perfect way. We should know nothing can ever be perfect. Never. Things have flaws and so do humans, its only nature if we had flaws.
Sandcastle refers to the circle he draws for himself and binds himself in it because he's insecure. Sometimes we are too scared to express ourselves, our opinions because we are scared about others thoughts on our opinion. We care so much what others have to say that we forget to appreciate ourselves in the process.
Here he is very lonely and insecure because he thinks he's at fault and his heart that is supposed to be happy is filled with insecurities that killing him from the inside.
well, on the other note, the way he's saying sandcastle sounds more like a comfort zone. A zone we limit ourselves with. Well comfort zone because we don't want to come out and try new things.
one because it's either we are lazy or we are scared we won't don't it. I like to say we tend to mask that we are insecure with the term laziness. We do most of the things with a lot of thinking given to what "others would think" or just we are ashamed and restrict ourselves from trying something. Everytime we want to go out and try that one thing out we've wanted to our whole life but don't because we are insure and has to give it a thought of "what if I cant'' before even thinking positive for once.
Verse 2, Jk
what is your name
do you have a place to go
oh could you tell me?
I saw you hiding in this garden.
so I want to try and connect the dots to complete the story line. The person he saw in the garden, a heart full of insecurities, he wants to know their name. You here can be the one that he loves. He wants to ask that person if they had a place because they've been seen hiding in his heart for many days.
So here he could be talking about how much he loves this person and yet can't express it out loud because he's insecure. This person, ever since they came into his life, has not left from there even though he is insecure. Insecure of being hated on for the way he is.
The way the lyrics "oh could you tell me?" have been written shows how much he wants to talk to this person and express his love yet he can't because deep down he's still hating himself. I believe this is so beautifully written that we all could feel the pain he must be going through while not being able to talk to the one that seemingly captured his heart.
It could just be that he was insecure about his looks or his voice or even separate features like his hair, his eyes or maybe he's been told since his childhood that he was a misfortune. Everything makes us insecure. It's easy get someone in secure.
Many times we hesitate to do this and that because we are insecure, insecure that we aren't enough. It just takes a little confidence and self appreciation to over come them.
pre-chrous, Jin
and i know all
of your warmth is real
the blue flower your hand was picking
I want to hold it but
Furthermore Jin continues with "and i know" this states the realization that hits him, that he can be almost free from the graden full of thorns with the help of this person's warmth but then he cant because he is insecure. He wants to hold onto this person but is simply scared
Opportunities never knock twice and we cannot afford our insecurities to get the best of us and let the opportunities go. But in reality its the case with most of us. We rarely express and voice out our opinions because we are simply insecure. Insecurity is pointless and poisonous, it slowly creeps into us and snatches away all the possibilities from us.
The hand flower here talks about the calm and peace he's been searching for so many days yet cannot get a hold of it. He says this person brings him the inner peace he has always looked for, he wants to get a hold of that and never let go.
The insecurites he hold are stornger than his will wich results in hesitation in getting the love of his love.
Insecurities are so poisonous that they creep in like snakes, build a castle and never rust. Usually we have one thjng or a person that helps us get through all this. Thats exactly what this person was and letting them go was not his plan even though he knows he will at the end.
Its almost like walking into a place and feeling home. A warmth that no other place provides us like our home. He belive this person can help him out and he wants to but he doesnt come out of his comfort zone and stays put behind the bushes watching them leave one day.
chorus, Jimin
its my fate
dont simle to me
Light on me
because i cant get closer to you
there's no name you can call me with
The way Jimin sang this literally broke my heart because this shows how much he's broken on the inside that he concludes his fate is what made him this way even though he is perfectly beautiful the way he is. He wants this person to leave even though he wants them. He knows he wont be able to let them go once he sees their beautiful smile therefore asks them not to smile at him.
This clearly shows how much he's been putting himself down to the level he starts thinking he doesnt deserve this person or their smile.
Its only natural that we let ourselves down one or two times infront of our inner demon. But its only confidence when we dont let it win for the third time
and fight hard because we knwo we have a purpose and we are not going to let anything hold us back. May it be insecurities, hardships ...
His insecurity has got him so lonely that he's finally starting to accept the feeling of loneliness and that he doesn't deserve their help. This almost sounds so shattered that he shouts out he dosent need any help while in the end its the opposite of what his heart wants.
As he has started to accept his fate he asks this person to go away not because he doesnt want them around its because he belives he's going to ruin their life as he has got no name. He has lost himself in the long journey of aloneness that he says he doesnt have a name and belives he's not worth enough to be known.
I love this part of the lyrics because it sounds so broken at the same time it also sounds like the the beginning of a new end thats yet to come. Destiny.
Post-chorus, Jk
you know that i cant
show you me
give you me
i cant show you a ruined part of myself
Once again i put a mask on and go to see you
and i still want you
This part is so sad that it moves me to tears evertjme i read the lyrics. Previously he's seen pushing this person when in reality he wants to hold and cherish them. Again he's telling them he cannot show them him. Show them his real self be ause he is ashamed and very very hesitant on coming out of the shadows and loving them.
Further he continues with "show you me", he means he cannot pull this person into his dark and lone world ruining their life in the process. This shows how much he loves the person and doesn't want them gone.
Usually when we love love somebody we tend care about their life, their future that we dont even care if we got hurt. All we wish for is the other person's happiness. Similarly he thinks like many prople in his life this persom that stole his heart was also hating him and he didnt want to pull them into the dull light and ruin the happiness they had.
He's so much scared to show himslef to his true love. He considers a part of himself broken and ruined and crying for help which he is very much embarrassed of or better scared of unmasking. In reality too we are never satisfied. We are pushed into believing that being anything but perfect is a crime. No matter what we do, much we try we are disappointed at the end because we are not perfect.
Moreover he wears a mask everytime he sees this person. He is sad that he can't show his broken self to this person and wears a mask pretending to be a happy someone when he is clearly not. It doesnt matter on what occasion we do this, we maks ourselves everywhere. We pretend to be someone else just to fit in! Which is so much idiotic and no matter how much we try that's how the sad reality is.
And after all this whe he convinces himself that he can't have them in his life he realises he still want them because he has been alone for so much time and wishes for their warmth to be with him.
Verse 3, Jin
Bloomed in a garden of loneliness
a flower that resembles you
I wanted to give it to you
after I take off this foolish mask
Again the lyrics beautifully show how much he loves this person cause after everything he cares about this person and wishes to give them a flower, similar to the one they'd picked. Just how sweet!
This sounds like the onesided love story of a lone person who needs nothing but just a reassurance on how good they are and love.
After everything, no matter how much his mind asks him to let this person go, his heart wants them, their smile each day, their warmth. On the other hand he wants to express his love in everyway possible. He wants to cherish them and hold their hand never letting go. But something in him stops. The mask that he's forced into believeing that he has to wear and the mask he's been wearing for ages now.
Here the flower, talks about the love he posses for his love and the garden his heart. Ever since we were kids we were forced into believing that pretending, or better say "behaving" is important no matter where we go. Well, behaving and pretending is pretty much different and convey totally different meanings. We go to a place, see somebody dressed better than us we start questioning our style and getting insecure. But in the end why bother? Just why?
Further more, no matter how much he wants to give this flower to them, he wants to take this mask he's wearing and stand infront of his love as the real him. No masks nothing. This is almost a heart breaking metaphor that i want to share what i think about these lines. Here, he states that he wants and wishes to express his love with a true heart without any secrets especially this mask he's wearing. However, it just all seems to be a sad reality that he thinks he can never take his mask off because he is not perfect. No matter how much he wants to.
He's suffocating with the mask he's forced to wear and wants nothing but to breathe again with his love.
pre-chorus, Jimin
but I know I cant do that forever
I have to hide
because I'm a monster
He confesses that no matter how much he "wants" he cannot, because he believes he is a monster without the mask. He believes he has to hide in the shadows and stay hidden just because he belives he is a monster locked away in the sandcastle for too long for his own good. He's locked away with his lone and insecure self thay he thinks he is poisonous and that this person should totally stay away for him.
This is so sad because there are so many peoople in the world who are unable to exprese their opinions or feelings just because they dont "fit" in! They are forced into believeing that they are of no good and bury themselves with insecurities without talking it out to someone.
Honestly i believe insecurities and lonesome are interconnected. Whenever we are insecure we tend to isolate ourselves and start becoming dull. Or the other way, when we get alone even at school we start questioning our personality. But it shouldn't be the case. Just because a few bunch of people dont like the way you talk doesnt mean you're gonna have to pretend to be someone else.
Nothing is much sadder than having to pretend to be someone else. Smiling and laughing when we are actually anything but happy is very difficult. Makes it hard to breathe.
Similarly here when he sings the line "I have to" it shows how much the society has becmoe cruel for him to believe that he has hide himself just because he js different in someway. The hard reality is that we are forced into believeing that being the way we are is such a crime that we start pretending to be someone else.
further he dares to say he will even stay hidden in the castke with the mask rather than going out, scaring his love with his monstrous part. Which is not true.
chorus, V
I am shattered
I am so afraid that you will
leave me again in the end
once again i put on a mask to go see you
Being alone is scary. Even if someone has never been alone the word alone sounds scary. Nobody want to be alone. Even someone asks to be left alone, its just another way of wanting some time to think so that they can talk it out to someone later in the future. How much ever we try being alone is not possible because we crave human presence or just a dog of something, we need someone to be there and let us know through their presence that we got this all and things are going to be just fine. I've heard people go like we came into this world alone so why even bother having someone around, irony how its easier said than done.
Similarly he says he's afraid no matter how much he tries to push this person away. Being alone locked away in the "sandcastle" had shattered him completely to the point he is scared thinking about having this person enter the castle and see him being himself. Again he is insecure and vulnerable.
On the other hand no matter how much he says he's scared about hurting them and wants them gone, he doesn't really mean it and in the reality he wants to spend his lifetime with them able to express himself without having to worry. He confesses all this is because he is just scared that this person was going to leave him behind one day just like everyone else in his life did.
As said before being alone is scary and he doesn't want to be left behind because he is tired of having to pretend to be someone else and wear a mask all the time for something which is not his fault and something which is completely fine. But all his cries seem to fall into deaf ears so he wear his mask one more time and head to see them because that was what he was taught to do.
I've always wondered how they would have came up with this lyrics because they are absolutely beautiful. The way he wants the person in his life but is afraid to have them, again in the end he is just scared of them leaving so he doesn't show his true self and wear the mask like he has always done.
Post - Chorus, JK
The only thing i can do on this garden
is to bloom a pretty flower that resembles you
and to breathe as the me you know
but i still want you, i still want you
This part of the song is so heat breaking and one of the main reasons why i love this song. Despite him wanting them in his life, wanting their love, wanting to be a part of their life, he doesn't have the courage to stand in front of them without the mask, so he accepts what he thinks is fate and cries. He decides the only thing he can do is bloom a pretty flower that resembles his love and keep looking at it and breathe with the mask even if its going to choke him. Here, the pretty flower refers to the person he loves, and what he talks about blooming a pretty flower is the memory he has had with them.
Even reading the lyrics suffocate me, imagining to take the pace of the person in the song is just so scary and saddening. It is no doubt he wants nothing but to remove the mask throw it away and breathe normally like a sane person, however the sad reality that he thinks is true binds him and he feels like a person that throws stones into the pond. no matter what he does, what he tries it goes into the deaf pairs of ears why? Because he's locked away in the "sandcastle" with no one to talk to but the mask he hates and the flower he has grown out of the memory of this person.
Chorus, Jin
maybe back then
a little just this much
if i had the courage to stand before you
would everything be different now
This again is the regret that we all face in some part of the life. That's why people closer to my heart has always told me, "Never hold back. You never get the opportunities again." But my father has told me something that i love, "Never regret or never do something that you will regret", funny how everything is the truth yet i get mad at when the words are being thrown upon. Thinking twice before doing something is nice, but hesitating to doing something is a complete joykill. Similarly when Jin sings the line "maybe back then, just this much", he talks about the effort which he has never taken. the courage he has never had to take of the mask, even trying once would have got closer to the person closer to his heart.
Reality is we know the value of something after its absence, here he regrets and wishes he had had just a little amount of courage to stand before them, talk everything out and maybe, just maybe things will have been better now. Maybe he would not be wearing the mask till now. Maybe His garden full of thorns will have grown beautiful flowers, just like the one he had grown. Maybe he would have someone in the "sandcastle", he would not have to alone. Or maybe he was even out of the sandcastle by now, or maybe he wasn't going to have to walk around pretending to be someone else. But then again, all of this is just a maybe. Something he can never bring back, because he didn't when he had the chance to.
Funny how we get the courage and determination to do something after it has finished happening. Its just stupid to go around trying something which we never did when we had the time to. Here, even if he wasn't as much daring to take the mask off had he even tried once, just once, who knows maybe he was free now.
But again, he has lost the time.
Bridge Jm and Jk
I'm crying, that's disappeared
that's fallen, left alone
in this sandcastle
looking at this broken mask
He is disappointed, the person was gone and now he wishes he could turn time and make things better because now he knows how to but both him and the world knows saying that is going to make him sound more like a fool. Just like the ing clouds this person has flown away leaving the pretty flower behind which he wanted to give them, alone with him broken in the sandcastle.
How much ever he tries he is not going to bring back what was over, so he stays in the sandcastle breaks the mask in fury but then again whats the use now? he had failed to do that when he had the chance to, doing it now maybe a good thing but having it on all this while pretending to be someone else brought him no good.
This happens many times, we tend to regret over the things that are lost. but why bother? not talking care of it was the first mistake and wishing to change time so you can have it back sounds stupid, doesn't it? But its the reality. Regardless of how many times we say we are not going to repeat it we know its a lie and are going to repeat it again and again.
Here, when he sings "that's fallen" he talks about the mask. The mask he's always wanted to remove and break, yet when he looks at it now he cries because its the same as him, broken and alone.
Outro Jm and JK
And i still want you
but i still want you
but i still want you
and i still want you
He knows the are gone. His love was gone. The pretty flower he wanted to give them was now gone too, because why bother when the receiver was not there in the first place. The mask he wanted to take away has now happened but what's the use? He is in the sandcastle alone, he knows its going to crumble down one day. Because who is he kidding, its sand after all, of course its going to crumble, he knows he cannot hide in there forever.
But after all this, he still them. Wants the person to be a part of his world and love him because he loves them, he wants them, but they are gone.
Overall appreciation
From the vocals to the outfits , everything was perfectly decided. The lyrics were so beautifully written. The way protagonist's love was expressed through the lyrics was really incredible. I like to say it was a wonder choise of words. The vocals were undeniably soothing. The highnotes, the adilibs, the octaves, everythig was so beautifully sung.
From the vocals to the outfits , everything was perfectly decided. The lyrics were so beautifully written. The way protagonist's love was expressed through the lyrics was really incredible. I like to say it was a wonder choice of words. The vocals were undeniably soothing. The high notes, the adlibs during performances , the octaves, everything was so beautifully sung. I believe the song was literally the best. And nobody could have sung it better than them.
![The truth untold - A Broken Mask-[IMG=UZ1]
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The song is highly dark and carries a lot of emotion and the way they've felt each and every word sounded very very splendid. Moving on to the outfits these were my favourites from each . I believe the outfits well matched the song and the theme. for some reason the light coloured clothing ed me of nature and flowers and top that Jin's suit with flowers was very adorable.
The Truth Untold is an emotional song that hits so deep. It's such a beautiful song tat i keep wanting to write about it.
Insecurity what is it?
Well to begin with, Insecurity is a common that almost all of expreience in our life at some poit on time. Generally it is caused by lack of self confidence and anxiety. Whenever we do something we are hesitant because we care about the outcome and dont want to look "weird". I'm not saying that's the case with everyone. Well almost everyone. Almost. I mean, things will be much better if people can stop being nosy and commenting on every moving thing in this world, right?
well thats just the opposite pf reality. Hurtful comments, getting picked on all can cause insecurities. We care so much about what other say that we start feeling insecure.
Insecurity is questioning our own ability in doing things. In other words shall lets just say, lack of self- appreciation and self confidence? Well sometimes pr from what I know many times insecurities are the main reason for being alone. Having a bad day is fine, this may result in doubt ourselves and our abilities, but feeling insecure all the time is going to take a major toll on our mental health and we definitely do not want that.
Honestly most of the times we fear failures. It is because in many cases we are taught failures are embarrassment. Here we keep forgetting that without mistakes nobody can learn a new thing. And failure is one of the mistakes, from which we learn. And since, we think failing is an embarrassment we dont want to be the one getting embarrassed. We are pushed to think standing away from the crowd doing nothing is better that facing a failure.
These days we get insecure over the smallest of things, be it our appearance, personality, features, skills name it we got it under the list of feeling insecure about. Kids from very younger days come to thinking that beauty has got something to do with the way we look and appear. And that causes them insecurities when they grow up.
Mnay times we to pretend to be someone else just because we dont fit in otherwise. I belive everybody has the complete rights to be the way like without being looked down at. Nobody has the right to tell you ehat you have to look like or how you should be because they are not you and they definitely do not know how you mind works.
from the other point of view, simple can hurt people. For example calling someone weird for laughing incredibly loud. If you dont like how they laugh, well there is nothing you can do about it, you have to live with it or just without minding just walk away. Honestly from what I've known jokes are not always going to sound ''funny" and people should understand.
A few ways overcome and fight this are easier said than done, but they really help. As I've said before self confidence and self appreciation are the major helpful measures we can take. Being the way we are is beautiful and I'm going to say this again a million times if I have to. Enjoying ourself and appreciating the efforts we've put in so far is really beautiful. Just because someone has something to say doesn't mean they are honest.
These days we look forward to being perfect. We almost take that as a pressure. We totally forget that there is completely nothing in the world that can be perfect. Everything differs. Every person differs. When we keep comparing ourselves with celebrities or just anyone that we think is better that us. Its human anter that we dont like getting compared, at the same time we compare ourselves with others.
Self Love
Honestly the only person that's been with us no matter how much we want to throw them away, have hurt them, left broken is ourselves. No matter how we are, how much we hate us the person we've had or going to have during the darkest or brightest day is going to be ourselves. After ourselves come the perople we love. Of course people closest to our hearts are there for us, but we can't be so sure. I belive anything happens we are going to be there for us. Believe we can do this, appreciating the effort even if it results in failure and having fun is important. Accepting ourselves and loving us the way we are is going to help so much that we will never grow old of loving ourselves and that sounds beautiful. Self love is beautiful.
one shot
Warning, mentions of bullying
A broken Mask
"arhgg" He groaned internally. Teacher said a presentation was up and everyone had to work in pairs.He was so bad single off why did she have to pair them up. He was sure going to embarrass himself.
"Hey" Someone exclaimed pulling a chair to take a seat beside him. Everybody was now taking seats beside their partners.
"You" He groaned. Out of all people he had to be paired with the most talkative one. He hated people who talked much, well maybe because he can't talk properly...
"Hello to you too!" She sassed with a frown notheless taking out her notepad. "We have two weeks to prepare for this, you prepare the present-" She kept talking
"L-listen i dont care what the p-p presentation is about. You do it if you want to. Or you can just c-change parnters. I dont care.
she was silent for a minute before,"what? Nono. We are working on this together. Im not gonna change partners." She assured with a smile.
now he was annoyed. Why wont she understand? She was gonna get straight F if she worked with him. He cant do that. However a small warmth curled up in his heart. No one has ever wanted to work with him or they did, he always pushed them away. He was too insecure to put it in simple words.
"huh, why would you want to w-work with a r-rude person like me?" He mumbled
"what, no please? besides I dont think you are rude. They are being mean to you and this is just a facade you are masking yourself with. I'd really love to work with you" She wemt on and on.
He was seriously frustrated. Did she just say she knew him? Nobody did. Noone has ever known what has happened to him.
"you" he pointed out. "You-u dont knwo shit about me, so just shut up and leave me alone" He snapped. She was seriously hurt but understood the boy must be feeling bad for behaving that way so she let it slide.
"alright I'm sorry, we'll start from today...how about we meet at mine?" She suggested.
She was not gonna let it go, wasn't she? He sighed.
"No. Lets meet at my place. Be there at 5. Give me your number i'll send the adress." He said. "Why? Something worng with going to my place?" She wanted to knwo completely offended.
"what? No. Just come to my place if you need an A" He rudely snapped. He just doesn't know how to put it across. He was afraid her parents were going to think he is weird. He stammered a lot. He was so much anxious. Thats why he never went to anyone's house.
"You know I'm not the only one that's getting an A if we worked hard, right?" She was deliberately sad how he manipulated her to go to his place and wanted to know why.
"well, its not t-too late. You can go and t-talk to the teacher and get someone else to partner." He replied with a shrug. She basically didn't like how he was talking to her.
"Shut up, okay? God why are you treating me like this? You know what I dont care, i dont care if you want to work together or not but I am not gonna change my partner and you are going to co-operate. Do you understand?" She was almost yelling right now.
wow she didn't stammer once in between, he was jealous of how people can talk fast and not stammer. Why can't he talk like that? Why did he have to be weird?
"I said do you understand?" She snapped again. Its not that she hated him. Hell she's found him cute and adorable. The one kid sitting in the corner, snapping at abery possible thing in the world. Of course she was not aware what goes on in his mind. Else she would never think it was adorable.
"I- yes. I'm sorry. I'm such a trouble" he mumbled confusing her more. She chose not to say anything as they sat in silence when worked on the project.
"okay, try it with me. "Allied bomber crewmen" you got this" She assured him, trying to get the three words out of him. He tild her he found it difficult and was very anxious.
"Allied b-b-omber- shoot, I'm never gonna get this right." He was frustrated. Why cant he just get it right? Its three words.
"no, you were great. Try again" she couldn't help but feel bad. There was nothing wrong with the boy. He was just being too hard on himself.
"Allied b-bomber cr-e-ewmen-" he sighed. He can never do it.
"Alright listen, negativity is gonna get you nowher-" the girl had started.
"Shut up. Just shut up. Omg just leave.you think you know everything? Just leave." He had started crying by then.
"Alright then." That what she said before storming off.
He can't even be on good with someone now can he?
He saw her sitting alone and working on something. Must be their project. He was having his notes in his hand too. After hurting her that's the only thing he could do.
"Hey" He blurted out when he was a step away from her seat.
''Oh hey, steamed off? Or you're still mad?" She playfully joked. He felt bad though
"No, I'm r-really sorry. I was just frustrated. I'm sorry" He confessed. He was really sorry.
"Nah thats okay. Take a seat. You got notes? That's really good. We'll start with the presentation during lunch. Meet me near my locker" She whispered when the english teacher entered.
"You want some banana milk?" She offered hers. "Nah Im good" He didnt really like that.
"Okay so everything is pretty much done. You have your keypoints written down in a paper or something if you want. I'll carry mine too. You got this" she instructed. He was happy she was his partner.
It was the day. He was anxious. So much. It was just a presentation but years of bullying. Being picked on. Having pushed to try and become perfect. He was sweating. He was not sure. He wont be able to do it. He felt nervousness pool in his lower stomach. He felt so much insecure, watching other speak so fluently.
He started to things. "Stutter face" "speak fast i dont have all day." "Dont sit with us" He felt his breath picking up. This happened all the time. The teacher called him. He was now stading infront of the whole class. She beside him. "Yo, we only got 40 minutes, dont take forever okay?" Someone from the shouted. People started laughing. He couldn't taking any longer and ran out of the class room.
Tears ran down his face. His breath wavering. Who was he kidding. He would never be able to do it.
He felt someone sit next to him. It was her.
"I'm really sorr-
"Hey calm down. I'm not mad." She assured him.
"You got anxious, that's totally fine." She went on.
"I dont knwo what goes on in your mind, but i want you to knwo you are great abd what they say doesnt matter" she assured eith a small smile. "I want you to do this. This one time i want you to be yourself and do this with me."
"I'm scared-
"of what" she questioned.
"those people who dont even matter?" She spoke again.
He didn't like how much truth her words contained. Yet he just can't bring himself.
"Do it for me. Think about it we've worked for this. Do it for me if not for yourself." She stood up saying this.
"I think you are great" she exclaimed offering her hand to him.
"I dont know" He mumbled. "Come on" She urged.
"or I'm feeding you banana milk" she joked and he chucked.
Maybe its not that bad. He could give it a go.
Standing infront of the whole class was very tiring. We scary. He was going to explain in matter of few secnds. He can't. Or maybe he could. This one time.
He had finished. How much he wanted to get this over with.. he did stammer. Not too much or he wouldn't say he didn't at all. He did stammer. He was sure he got them an F. But she was smiling. He did good?
"you were great" she whispered when they made their way to the back of the class. He smiled. Maybe he didn't mess it up as he thoguht he would.
"Thank you" he smiled.
He is going to be nervous the next time. But he knows he got it this time and will get ut the next time too.
Outro
Thank you so much for reading. That is it everyone, thank you for looking through my blog. I had so much fun making the blog and hope you did too. I truly hope I was able to put my points across clearly through the blog. Have a great day :revolving_hearts:
Picture credits: Hybe Lables and Pinterest
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Comments (17)
Even tho you didn't win, this is one hell of masterpiece :clap:
Thank youuu
and the oneshot was painfully beautiful. honestly pavi, out of all the analysis you've done, this one is my absolute favourite. no kidding. i really feel an attachment to the song and they way you've explained it all...its just truly amazing. the blog is perfect. i seriously loved it.
I felt the oneshot. My friend has the same problem. It took a lot to convince her and get her to speak. So say a little bit of the oneshot was from a real experience. ..
and i also realted to the part where you talked about "fitting in" and "not fitting in". sometimes i just wonder, who decides this shit? like who's the one to tell me that i fit in or not. i want to have the freedom to express myself and just simply be myself without feeling insecure or worrying about fitting in. i wonder if it'll ever be possible.
Exactly. I mean while writing this blog I didn't have to think a lot. A lot are what I had in mind. Its just so scary how many don't even get the chance to express themselves just because they dont fit in. Like what the-
Reply to: -p˿σѕh°#ʲᵏᶜ JIN DAY~
it somehow is suffocating, yknow not being able to express yourself. i hope people dont have to go through that
Reply to: 𝑹𝒂𝒊𝒏ⁱˢⁱⁿᵖᵃʸⁿᵉ
I know. I mean there so many times I wish I cried but can't. It is so suffocating.
the way you explained the bridge, it really made me feel lonely and heartbroken while reading it. i when i first listened to the song, it felt so sad. and then i looked for the lyrics and i honestly cried. i myself was having a hard time due to someone at that time and i could totally relate that. i funny how our opinions and judgemental statements has given some people the tag of "monsters" that they cant even be real. its just heartbreaking, so much
I knwo right. I felt something when i was explaining the bridge. We are surrounded by judgments. its very very suffocating to constantly have people tell you what you have to do, how you got to be.
god pavi, i think you're really fit for the analysis thing. what you said about the society being materialistic, i really felt that. and people "joking" but hurting someone else's feelings in the process has just become so common these days, so much. even online. people gang up on some person minding their own business and when someone stands up to them, they're like "jeez, we were just kidding. people can't even understand jokes these days" i dont know just how many people's lives have become horrible because of the "jokes". its saddening
I knwo right? I mean "jokes" are not always jokes. Some dont seem to realize that
Reply to: -p˿σѕh°#ʲᵏᶜ JIN DAY~
yes exactly