From Goddesses and Monsters

Oh my god, I finally had sun :sun_with_face: and time :alarm_clock: to take pictures. Happy spring beginning, or something like that :joy:

Thank god, spring has nothing to do with the weather but with the length of time. And the beginning of spring means more sunlight than darkness, which means I had time before work to get some nice snaps of my Journal. The closer I got to leave for work, the less creative the photos became. But you know I finally caught up, which is far more important.

I am not happy with the paper of my Journal. And I feel like I am limited in my creative expression, hence it's not much fun atm to Journal, which shows in my spreads. I try to do a lot of drawing and less scrapbooking, but well, it's not going so well. I'm really disappointed with me, my spreads and my artistic abilities (and just generally life, things are just not running smooth).

»six of crows«

Now, I'm sure we can start the discussion of productivity vs. artsyness: "But you really don't need to have a good looking Journal, it only needs to help you to be productive." That's my problem though, if I'm not satisfied or proud of what I created, I don't like to use it. When I started Journaling one big aspect of this whole thing was for me to get better at art.

»the roses where inspired by @dolceartist«

If I don't see any progress, my motivation gets eaten up and with that my productivity falls. My goal is not to change to a new Journal but to push through and break the barrier, work with the material I have at hand and still create something awesome, but the more time es by, the harder it gets.

»daughter of smoke and bone«

#instamagic (fave fantasy books :heart: )

The first march week, was the first time in my life that I didn't finish the spread before Monday morning. I was sitting there, the evening before unwilling to sit down, get creative and develop a working, aesthetic pleasing spread for the coming week. I woke up the next day, in utter panic, that I didn't have any structure for my week and took half an hour before work to at least sketch a concept out for a spread.

»favoruite spread of February, I loved the hands idea«

It was a weird experience and not one I want to repeat. I'm not sure if it's a good thing that I am depending so much on my Journal. It makes me want to try living a week without it and making a journaling pause. I'm jealous of those people who can go day by day, and work things out over the week and can look upon their spread at the end of it and be satisfied with the result. That it all falls so easily together

»filler page, on which I added a cardio workout«

But on that morning I felt so lost and my life out of order, that couldn't stand that situation. The spread was pretty messed up in the end and I'm not willing to it. But still thinking about it makes me really angry. Why can't I just be more chill about this.

» March theme: greek goddesses«

I never was the planner kind of person (only a little). Back in school you were forced to use a homework book. I never used it, in fact I hated it. Until I found a homework book which was more special than others by having jokes printed on every day, or the periodic table inside or games in the back. I still didn't really use it for noting down homework, but at least I used something like a planner for once, because it offered more than just a plain white page to note down what you have to do.

»this was my first architecture drawing. I thought it would be hard and boring, but it was quite fun and calming«

For me, the Bullet Journal system always was a blessing. It's not the planning that keeps me going, but the fun stuff around it, the art, the collections, this community. What I'm most scared of is losing the fun for it, and losing a tool that just made my life more rich and organized. Falling back to a state where I didn't have any goals or dreams I wanted to achieve

»life is really bad at the moment, I didn't add any goals for the month. I'm sick of writing the same thing again and again and not being able to do it anyway«

Probably I'm just really disappointed, that my Bullet Journal can't help me get out of the place in which I am in. I need to get some things in order first, maybe then the motivation to Journal would return and it would all become easier and my Journal could be a helpful addition to my life again.

»Aphrodite«

I don't have any real answers to all this. I'm also not sure if I'm in dire need yet to find them. I'm just really pissed, really angry, really frustrated and for the most part my Journal helped me to work that out before, but this is the first time in a year that Journaling doesn't make it better.

»I liked the color combination, it was very calming«

I'm not sure what the next months will bring. Maybe I will change my Journaling style, maybe I can solve myself, maybe I find the courage again to try and make a weekly spread on the go without any preparation. Whatever it is, wish me luck that I will work it out :muscle: :smile:

»Athena«

Sorry, this got so long, I had so many pictures, and I felt like I had to note this part of my Bullet Journal journey down, my blog has been my constant companion since I started Journaling and either I change something in my life or my journaling style changes. Whatever it will be I wanted to have these fragments of thoughts saved in the process.

»the first time I tried to draw a whole human person. I would call it a failure, things are off, but I tried«

Picture source: I did a piss poor job of crediting the pictures I used this time. But some can be found either on my Pin board for books or pictures