Incorrect Quotes From my Drama Friends (Part Two)

Trigger Warning:

Curse words. They’re not directed at anybody though. I wasn’t sure whether it should be counted as a trigger, so I just aired in the safe side.

————————

Alana, reading a duet acting scene she wrote: Ana enters stage right carrying a backpack. Once stage center, she throws the backpack upstage left, lays down on the ground, and screams for a solid 10 seconds.

Connor: M e

————————

Jared: Cults are bad. Unless I lead them.

————————

Evan while working retail: Don’t stab the customers don’t stab the customers don’t stab the customers don’t stab the custome-

————————

Connor: What sound does blood make?

————————

Jared: Using other emotions, how would you describe the feeling of a pool noodle?

————————

Evan, in a T-Pose: Don’t call me Mark or I will eat your family.

————————

Jared, about gunpowder: I already know what it’ll do to my eyes but I wanna know what it’ll do to my stomach.

Evan: A-are you planning on eating it?

Jared: Probably

————————

Connor: So, I made a gang sign. For the drama class.

————————

Jared: What happens if I shit out a dick?

Evan: Never say that again.

Connor: What if I eat this chocolate through my nose?

Evan: Connor, you're not helping.

Jared: What if I snort cocaine through my ears? There's just a suCTION-

Connor: I can breathe through my right ear on occasion.

*Evan looks at the camera as it slowly zooms in on his face. Cue the curb your enthusiasm theme.*

————————

Zoe: I have a giant spiritual dick made out of spikes and orange peels.

————————

Jared: I just burped 4 times in a row, and each tasted like a different species of squid.

———————

Evan: I’m not taking any of your fucking citrus, Jared. Don’t give me your fucking citrus.

————————

Connor: I’m sick, tired, and done with your bullshit.

Zoe: Well I’m sick, tired, done with your bullshit AND on my period! Fight me ho!

————————

Evan, about the instrumental to Seventeen from Heathers: It’s like a satanic peaceful thing. I kinda like it.

————————

Zoe: CHA CHA CHA MOTHERFUCKERS

————————

If you ask, I’ll try an explain context of any of them. :sweat_smile: