Running-Jared Angst

Um. Welcome to my first post. I don’t usually post due to rejection and shit.

This was a commission made by Jessi for a short oneshot of Jared angst.

This is 900 words of hell. Sorry it’s so bad.

Tw: Depression, Addiction (Alcoholism), Neglect (does that count as abuse??), Death, Suicide, & Grief. All that good deh shit.

Have fun!

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Jared’s feet rapidly scraped against the pavement.

Tap… tap…. tap…..

He had officially done it! He made Evan snap! Normally, he’d be cackling at this. But it came back to bite him in the ass. Which is the reason why hot tears were pouring down his face.

Evan. Had. Finally. Snapped.

And honestly..? He hated it. Evan wasn’t like this. He didn’t snap. This wasn’t normal. Evan never had this much vengeance and HATRED in his eyes.

The manic look that would haunt Jared for the rest of his days.

Jared groaned as he threw his home door open, wiping his tears and sighing because no one’s ever home.

Perfect. Just perfect.

Running away from his problems is what Jared did best. He ran away from relationships, people, and now this school.

He had a chance to make it healthy again… but it wasn’t worth the stress.

Evan was going to break again anyway. He’s a fragile piece of China.

He cracked open a cup of whiskey and drew himself a shot, quickly ingesting the bitter liquid.

The guilt will all be over soon as he drank away his problems. Just like he always did when Evan had an issue. Just like how he ignored everything and everyone else.

He got a tiny bit giggly by drinking another one and opening his phone to look at funny pics and videos.

But not even the alcohol and funny pictures can’t distract him.

And it’s not like his negligent parents gave a shit.

So he drank.

~~~

About two days later was it? He couldn’t recall as his phone kept buzzing.

It was all Evan.

Missed call, apology, apology, missed call, etc.

He groaned, he had a hangover from the last couple of days. He attempted to ignore it, hoping Evan would eventually stop.

Evan didn’t stop.

Which is why he silenced his phone and decided to have another drink. Because he hated himself and Evan would load him with affection and apologies.

All of which he was running from. Because Mark Evan Hansen was someone he knew to keep running from.

~~~

The next morning, he woke up to a spam of calls from Heidi.

She was… strained…. and choking on something. “Ja-Jared, I need um to tal-“

“Save it, Hei, Evan and I aren’t friends anymore. Deal with it.” He snapped, instantly cutting her off.

“But th-this is… impor-“

“HEIDI, shut UP already! We’re not FRIENDS ANYMO-“

“Jared Kleinman, Evan died in a car accident last night. A su-suicide.” She scolded, watching tears pour down her cheeks.

The harsh reality of life came crashing in. The feeling that not even alcohol could repress. Evan was… gone…?

“..I-“ Is all he could sputter out in shock and disbelief.

“I know this is a lot to take o-“ Heidi’s voice decreases in volume as Jared’s phone falls to the ground, shattering.

He’s been preparing for this day for years. He just hoped it would never come.

Evan was gone and he had NO CONTROL over it. No way of getting him back. No way out of this relationship.

It was his fault for pushing him, his fault for being nothing but a stupid little kid who only wanted attention.

HE LOST HIS ONLY FRIEND!

Who cares about pride in the moment? His alcohol raised his irritability as he kicked a small light blue box. His mixed emotions coming out in bitter anger.

Which is why after everything else was deleted, he was holding a small polaroid photo. Him and Evan, grinning widely at the camera as Jared gave a subtle middle finger. It was the last thing he had in the moment. Which is what made it harder to take it…

And tear it right down the center.

“Fuck you, Mark.” He spat. Throwing down the pieces and tearfully sighing. To calm himself down, he ran his hand through his hair and wiped his eyes.

And then he stormed off… the picture left behind….

Because who would care about a friendship he destroyed?

~~~

At the grave, he sniffled. Checking secretly to see if anyone else was there. He had went to the funeral out of decency, but this? This was private time. He also sobered himself up for this, to be somewhat professional.

Just for this event, it’s no lie that Jared’s addicted; but no one knows that. No one needs to know that. Because this is the last time he’ll be sober in a while.

He sighed and hugged the tombstone as he sat on top of the dirty ground, grass seeds were to be planted tomorrow.

He played with a red flower as he sighed. “I’m sorry…” Was all he could say. If we went explaining it, it would ruin the message. He was sorry and he really did love Evan. Which is why, a few hours later as the sun came up and he had to go… he smiled and placed a small thing on Evan’s grave.

A photo. Taped down the center and with a little note on the back.

“I love you, Ev. Don’t forget about me in Heaven, or I’ll kick your fucking ass. Thought you might want this. I’m sorry.

-Jared <3”

Running off into the distance from yet another relationship… another person…. because that’s all he ever did…..

But he guesses he wasn’t alone…. because Evan did the same thing…..

He just ran too far……..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry.

-Abby :blue_heart: