TRIGGER WARNING! Mentions of Suicidal thoughts and actions
OKAY *insert table slap* this is hands down the saddest song in the musical.
why?
so. many. reasons.
each song in this god damn musical- they all serve a purpose. they all do.
and this song was our realization song.
he was realizing what he had done, who he had hurt. and he was itting to this.
and we even found his reasoning in this song, in case you didn’t figure it out before.
and not only this, but the horrifying truth of this song,
it reads off as a suicide note.
no, i am not kidding.
have someone that doesn’t know the song read this out to you and i swear to god it sounds just like a note.
it gives us reasoning and itting, and i have personally wrote my fair share of notes (yes, i’m ok, mosta these were for stories) and you usually dwell on one thing you want to say.
and in this case, Evan was trying to desperately to explain that words have failed him once again.
this song was our realization, explanation, and perhaps if So Big/So Small hadn’t happened, could it have been our closing?
LUCKILY, Heidi was a good mother and forgave her son (though, hopefully he got properly punished) and this was not the note we left off on. (get it?)
But, let’s just say that moment hadn’t happened. would the guilt be too much? would Evan give up?
too bad we don’t know what was going through his head!
no. we do.
and honestly, with all the hints and clues, yes. yes, Evan Hansen would most likely have died if his mother hadn’t explained that no matter what, she loves him.
but off the theories of the song and back to the legitimate song.
So, why do we cry when we hear it? why is it possibly the saddest song in the musical?
well, i have watched the musical and listened to the album, all with the original cast, and perhaps it’s because Ben captures so many feelings in his voice and breathing?
the roughness in his voice at that one part, i really pray you know what i’m talking about, is what sets my tears most of the time.
and at the end of the song is another moment that is showing improvement.
in waving through a window he is telling us that he is stepping out of the sun because he keeps getting burned. because he has learned that it isn’t doing him good.
but now he is begging for answers on how to step back in. to trust in the world and see the beauty of it.
and thats final thing that is shaky of the song.
he wants to make himself better. he realized how wrong he was.
and if that’s not a realization in itself, i have a lot more to say about it.
I do have more about this song so if you’re interested in that go ahead and PM me.
thank you for your time.
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