The Remaining Phantoms: Skull

Instead of one overarching story, I’ve decided to create a bunch of bite-sized mini-stories featuring the thieves that weren’t in the banner! The setting will still be the universe that DL takes place in.

First up is...

Skull: A Pirate’s Life For Him

“For real?! You guys are actually pirates?!”

Karina heard a frankly loud voice from beyond the hull of her precious ship. She stopped polishing to see who it was.

“Yar, ye be right, lad!” Karina bellowed to the blond.

“Damn... Where I’m from, we don’t got pirates,” he said back.

“A shame, really. A pirate’s got the best life, ya see!”

“Really? Don’t seem that great to me. I don’t wanna go around pillaging and making people’s lives worse.”

Karina was truly offended. It seemed this guy didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut. But then she ed that his version of pirates may not be the same as hers. She took a deep breath.

“Maybe where yer from, laddie, but they be different here! How about ya come aboard me ship and see for yerself?”

“Alright. I guess I got nothin’ better to do. My name’s Skull.”

“Karina. Now hop aboard! We sail off!”

The ship wasn’t like what Skull was expecting. It was pristine. It was shiny. It wasn’t filled with smelly men with scurvy.

“Hey, this ain’t half bad!” Skull said, gazing over port side.

“Yar, ye see it now? Bein’ a pirate ain’t so bad!”

“But I don’t get it. If ya don’t pillage and shit, what do you do?”

“We just sail around, and have a grand ol’ time, so we do! Ain’t nothin’ more ter life!”

“Hey, what’s that? It seems to be comin’ toward us.”

Karina peered over the edge and saw four large yellow eyes staring back. Her heart skipped a beat, but she did not waver.

“Battle stations, men! To arms!”

“Wait, what’s going on? What is that?”

“It’s a fiend, friend. And quite a large one at that. Ter find one so close ter shore. It sends shivers up me spine. We need ter take that thing out, else them local folks won’t be havin’ fish for supper.”

The fiend broke surface, and lashed its tentacles at any living soul on the ship.

“Ready the cannons! Fire at will!” Karina commanded to her crew. “Skull, get yer keister below deck. We’ll take care of this.”

“No way. I ain’t runnin’,” Skull shot back.

Cannonballs barraged the fiend’s leathery body, but didn’t do much.

“Yar, we not be makin’ a dent! Ready the ballistae!”

The crew brought out a couple of large mounted crossbows, capable of firing huge arrows that could rupture a hole in a castle wall.

“Fire!”

Each ballista shot their ammunition, but the fiend ducked back underwater before any of them could hit it.

“Yar, it be smarter than it looks!” Karina gritted through her teeth.

“I got this!” Skull leaped up and perched himself on the side of the ship. “Let’s go, Captain Kidd!”

Skull ripped of his mask and was surrounded by a blue light. From behind him rose a pirate, though a much scarier pirate than the crew, for this pirate was a skeleton. It had a cannon for its right arm, and it donned a trifold hat. It rode on a small pirate ship like a surfboard.

Captain Kidd wasted no time and dunked his arm cannon into the water. He shot bolts of lightning straight at the fiend. The extra conductivity of the water around them made for a much more deadly attack. The fiend was incinerated almost immediately.

Captain Kidd was called back to Skull and disappeared, while the rest of the crew looked absolutely aghast.

“Yar, now THAT’S a pirate!” said one of the crew .

The rest of the crew surrounded Skull and started cheering. They lifted him above their shoulders and started chanting “Skull! Skull! Skull!”

That night, the ship chef whipped up the finest meaty meal he could muster. Skull wasted no time and immediately started stuffing his face.

“Mmm! So gooooood! The meat just melts in my mouth!” Skull enjoyed his meal so much he almost started crying.

“Well, I got ter say, lad. That was some fancy trick ya got ther,” Karina approached Skull. Skull swallowed a hunk of meat so large you could see it travel down his throat.

“Well, I wouldn’t say it’s a trick. It’s just the powers I have. Simple as that.”

“Well, whatever it is, it be quite useful. What say ye me crew?”

Skull thought for a moment. He could be an actual pirate, and these guys don’t seem like the type he’s familiar with. But he also had to get home as soon as possible. There were more Jails to take care of back home, after all.

“I... I can’t. Sorry. I gotta find a way back home with Joker and Sophie and such.”

“Well, no reason ye can’t do both! How ‘bout this: You can come aboard any time ye want, and we’ll have ye a nice cut of meat waiting for ye?”

“Aw hell yeah!” Skull did his trademark fist bump.

Throughout the rest of the night, everyone ate, drank, and was merry. Skull finally found a group outside of the Phantom Thieves where he belonged. Though he’ll have to leave this world eventually, he figured he might as well enjoy it while he can.

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This will be a mini-series of stories featuring the Thieves that weren’t in the collab. I’m splitting this up between individual posts, instead of one large one. Up next is Fox! Have a nice day!