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Why do I have to feel this way?

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Jhai 06/17/19
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I'm not really like most of you guys. I feel like I'm trapped in another body. In fact, I hate my body. I hate every single thing about it. I can't accept the fact that I am trapped in this body. It feels like a cage. I feel like I'm supposed to be in another body, but I'm stuck in mine.

I once got scolded by my mom because of this. She noticed some signs. I don't act like my biological sex, I prefer to be addressed differently, and I've currently been begging my mom if I can get a new hairstyle. When I got scolded, I started tearing up. I couldn't let anyone see me like this.

When I was in this situation, I turned to one of the people I trusted. One of my cousins.

Well he wasn't much help.

What he told me was painful. He told me that I should just accept that I'm stuck in this body and I can't do anything. He asked me why I felt this way, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him. You know what he said?

He gave me options. He said: "It's either you tell me, or I'll stop talking to you. Pick one."

And guess what. I don't talk to him anymore.

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I feel the same way. I get it, so much. I’ve tried scratching at my skin because of how much it hurts. I do the same thing as you, act like the opposite gender. I’ve been yelled at, told I was ‘too young to make that decision,’ but I know who I want to be. The best thing I can tell you is to hope-

Hope that one day, you can be yourself. Hope that things will get better in the end. That’s what is keeping me going. I know it’s a bad thing to do, just hope that things get better, but it helps sometimes. I’m sorry i don’t have anything better to say, but I’m here to talk if you need to vent any time. I really hope that things get better for you

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1 Reply 06/17/19

Thank you for this. I really needed this since I've been in a dark state lately. I also hope that things will get better for you. Now, I don't personally know you, but take care of yourself, okay?

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1 Reply 06/18/19
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