Why....

Why does it still hurt...... It's like they don't care.... I lost those who I thougth cared for me..... Who I cared so much.... They helped me I helped them.... It's my fault isn't it?.... I wanna go back in time and stand in the middle of a road.. when my life was still crappy... It would be better but now.... My life is ok but all my feelings are in the way I still think of suicide.... But there's only my feelings in the way and I feel weak... If I do it it might seem I'm weak But even if I call for help I'm scared to be weak....