Loveless Pt: 1

Relationship(s): Hamliza

Characters: 5,123

Estimated time to read: 4 mins

Trigger warning(s): None

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Elizabeth Hamilton was a sensible woman. She was known for her kind and forgiving personality, her ive nature. She was known as the perfect woman, the ideal wife, but right now, staring at her husband, she realized she wasn’t even close to any of these things.

Alexander’s expression was cold, in fact, his very essence had turned to ice. His body was tense, as ridged as his gaze and the unspoken threat it seemed to carry. The only thing that gave away his weakness of the moment was the shaking of his hands, and the subtle hitch in his breathing.

And Eliza was scared. No, she was terrified.

She hadn’t meant for what she said to come out so cruel, she hadn’t wanted to hurt him anymore then she already had. She had just been so sick of him shutting her out, and she had finally had a chance to talk to him, having found him gazing out the window of his study. At first he hadn’t even acknowledged her, and before she could gain control of herself her tongue was coated with anger, the very thing that had caused this whole mess in the first place. In the heat of the moment she had let the very essence of what the wrong thing to say was slip.

“Maybe if you hadn’t run off to war I wouldn’t have felt the need to sleep with another man.”

He hadn’t deserved that. In reality her cheating had nothing to do with him, it had been a mistake on her part, he hadn’t done anything to even so much as judge her to do such a treacherous thing.

Or maybe, in a certain sense, he had.

He had left her to go back to war. They had been married fourteen days, they had had fourteen days of bliss before he was going off again. She had been so confused with emotions, the fear, hurt, and anger swirling into a mind controlling curse. So she had found a way to momentarily numb it all, a way to forget.

She didn’t often try to think of her lover, she dared not to try and bring his name out of her memories, though she knew that she could if she wanted to. He had been a young soldier, just like Alexander, only he had been in town. He had been there, someone she could use to distract herself, and she someone he could do the same with. She had took him to bed twice, and those two times were the two worst mistakes of her life.

She still ed telling Alexander, the look of pure hurt that had crossed his features. He hadn’t questioned her, some part of her assumed he had already known to some extent, which perhaps only made the guilt she had felt worse. It also didn’t help that he had been so calm about it, that he hadn’t uttered so much as a word about her betrayal to anyone, that when others were around he treated her with the same warmth, the same love, he once had.

It was all an act though. When they were alone he refused to speak to her, he hardly even looked at her, and when he did his expression was an emotionless facade. She would have preferred him be angry, for him shout at her, she deserved that. Instead though, he had turned into the very opposite of what he had once been. A masked man with a false smile, dancing in a room full of the blissfully unaware.

“Would you have preferred I not come back at all then?” His words brought her out of the thoughts she had been lost in, yanking her back to reality and trapping her there.

He hadn’t spoken to her outside of the company of other people in weeks, she had almost forgotten what it felt like to have private conversations with him. Yet here he was, talking to her.

“W-What?” She whispered, hating how weak she felt in that moment.

“You find it so horrible that I left to defend my country that you felt the need to sleep with another man. I must ask Eliza, did you ever truly love me? Were you hoping I would get shot down by some redcoats, that you would finally be rid of me?” He asked, his words sharp and cutting, even as his expression turned to one of sorrow.

Eliza shook her head, taking a step forward and feeling tears gather in her eyes when he took one back.

“No! Alexander please, I didn’t mean what I said! I don’t think any of this your fault, and I’m so sorry for hurting you... f-for even looking at another.” She was crying now, her voice becoming tinted with the salt of her tears.

“Please, I beg of you not to believe such a thing. I love you, a-and I felt constant fear for you, for what could happen to you. I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to be with you. I want the life we had, and I know I’m the one who ruined it but-” Her voice broke as she cried, her hand lifting just the slightest bit towards him, as if reaching out.

The pain of what she had brought him to, her Alexander. Her hot headed, witty, but oh so caring Alexander. The man who had loved her, who had made her feel loved, she grieved for the loss of that man. She cried for the shell he had now become, and even more for the future life with him she had destroyed.

Alexander merely scoffed, regarding her through hard eyes. “Yes, I’m sure you worried for my well being greatly as you laid your hands on your lover.”

She looked at him through tear filled eyes, and could only stand there helplessly as he turned and brushed past her, pausing just long enough to murmur one simple sentence before disappearing from the room.

“I’d had hoped I wouldn’t end up in a loveless marriage.”

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So I would like to start off by saying I am well aware Eliza didn’t cheat on Hamilton. This was something I came up with at two in the morning, it’s just me exploring what it would have been like for Eliza to be the one who cheats, with a few twists. So please, none of you get your panties in a twist because I have a feeling there is going to be that Eliza super fan coming at me for this story.

I didn’t want to just do another ‘Reynolds affair’, I see way to many AUs on that already, plus I wanted to do something a bit more... original I guess? So, I made Eliza cheat earlier in their marriage, and also with some random dude I made up.

Now that I think about it, I may have just been wanting to write a sad Alexander and Eliza, but Idk.

Anyway, I hope you liked my story. I’m quite happy with it. I wish you a wonderful day, or night, and until next time this is F0R3V3RCAT, g off~