▌ꗃ ִֶָOO2 𝜗𝜚 beauxbatons task O2: severus snape .ᐟ

Hello, and welcome to another Team Beauxbatons post! For the second task, our team's topic was our favorite morally gray character: Severus Snape!

We all believe Snape is an interesting morally gray character, so this was a very fun topic.

Severus Snape: death eater, potions teacher, half-blood prince and double agent. He is the only son of muggle Tobias Snape and pure-blood Eileen Prince. Severus has no other known named relatives, but is related to of the Snape and Prince family. Some speculate that Snape has his father’s name as his middle name, Tobias, but this is not confirmed in canon.

At first glance, Severus Snape looks like a cold, cynical, malicious, harsh and sarcastic person, due to the persona he displays when teaching as we see during interactions with students he dislikes, mainly Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom. He also comes off as vindictive and bitter, as he holds grudges for a long period of time, which we see in the books and movies; Snape had a grudge against James Potter and his friends, which was later directed towards James Potter’s son, Harry Potter. Snape is also perceived as a very intelligent individual. He’s very skilled in what he does, and nothing can be hidden from him by his students.

Although he comes off as a cold, terrible person, some would say he has a tragic past and is misunderstood. Severus grew up being insecure and vulnerable, and was a victim of bullying at Hogwarts. This is what could’ve made him become what he is today, a cold hearted bully. Inside he is not as cold hearted as he looks. Severus used to be in love with Lily Evans, only to have her snatched away by his enemy, James Potter. Snape’s past could’ve been what urged him to Voldemort’s ranks, due to wanting to be a part of something powerful, instead of being a weak victim like he was at Hogwarts. You could say that his hatred towards everyone led to this decision.

Severus later s Dumbledore’s side as a double agent, which shows how secretive and cunning he is. He mastered the art of deception, concealing his true motives, for both sides in the war until ultimately ing Dumbledore’s side for good. We also see that Snape displayed some traits of Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, loyalty and bravery. In the end he is loyal to Dumbledore and Harry’s side, secretly working to protect Harry despite how much he hated him. And during the end of his life, he went to Voldemort knowing it would kill him, displaying his hidden bravery.

As for his magical abilities, Severus Snape was highly skilled in potions, the dark arts, defence against the dark arts, duelling, legilimency and occlumency. He is also the only death eater known to be capable of producing a patronus. We know Severus Snape is skilled in potions as he’s the potions master at Hogwarts, but we really see his skill in potion making when we are introduced to his old potions textbook. Here we see how truly gifted he was at potions, and how he would alter each potion's recipe to make it easier and more efficient to produce.

We also know that Severus Snape was well versed in the dark arts, having even created the Sectumsempra spell himself - a spell which caused brutal lacerations on the target's body, as if they were slashed by an invisible blade. He is also the inventor of the Levicorupus spell.

Furthermore, Severus Snape was skilled in duelling, something we see being implied during the duelling club in Harry’s second year, and something we see during the Second Wizarding War. Snape’s abilities are also acknowledged to be great by Voldemort himself. Moreover, he was well versed in defence against the dark arts, as we see him teach this subject at Hogwarts briefly, and we see him using counter curses for dark magic throughout the series, an example being during Harry Potter’s Quidditch game when Harry’s broom was being cursed by Quirinus Quirrel.

Lastly, Severus Snape was skilled in Occlumency and Legilimency. He was capable of both concealing his thoughts and feelings from external penetration, and to penetrate other’s minds. His skills in occlumency helped him hide his remorse of Lily’s death from Voldemort, as well as help him in being a double agent for Dumbledore. Meanwhile we see him using Legilimency on Harry Potter during the Order of the Phoenix, and attempted usage on Draco Malfoy in the Half-Blood Prince. Other magic Severus Snape is capable of doing includes: apparition, wandless magic, non-verbal magic and flying.

At Hogwarts, Severus Snape was sorted into Slytherin house. His wand specifications are unknown, and his patronus is a Doe. His boggart is also unknown, but it’s speculated to be Lily’s death or Lord Voldemort. His best subjects at school were Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts.

During his early years at Hogwarts, Snape was a victim of bullying. He was friends with other death eaters from Slytherin house, and was one of the students smart enough to figure out that his classmate, Remus Lupin, was a werewolf. During his time at Hogwarts he named himself as the Half-Blood Prince, having used his time to invent spells and make innovations to potion recipes.

After graduating, Severus Snape went on to become the potion’s professor at Hogwarts. He taught potions from the year 1981 until 1996. He was the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher during the 1996-1997 school year, and was appointed heaster for the 1997-1998 school year. Something worth noting is that Severus Snape taught one class of Defence Against the Dark Arts during the 1993-1994 school year as a substitute for Remus Lupin.

Lastly, Severus Snape was d with two groups during his time of living; the Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix. Although everyone believed him to be working for Lord Voldemort, in truth he spent the last years of his life working as a spy for Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix.

To conclude, Severus Snape is a complex character. Although his actions may be seen as questionable; a death eater fighting against Voldemort, a teacher who bullied Harry Potter but protected him from the shadows, a man who had both love and bitterness in his heart, his intentions are ultimately good. He is also a brilliant wizard, capable of making the most difficult positions, and mastering the hardest spells and forms of magic.

Without Snape, Voldemort’s downfall would have not been possible. Therefore despite his harsh methods and morally ambiguous actions, we can say that his actions were crucial for the good side to win the war. Additionally, his dedication to helping Voldemort reach his downfall shows us that even a cold hearted person can have good qualities and intentions hidden within, and that perhaps, sometimes the good heroes are the ones hiding within the shadows.

Source:

Fandom Wiki

Meeting Lily, by Prelude.

Severus Snape lived in Spinner's End as a child. His parents neglected him a lot, and often quarrelled with each other. His father was mentioned several times as being abusive towards Severus and his mother.

Lily Evans lived with her family in the same town as Severus. Severus, after noticing her magical gifts, sought to get closer to her. They became fast friends, although Lily regarded him merely as a good friend, while he seemed to have stronger feelings. During this period, Severus began to feel a certain hostility towards Lily's older sister Petunia. This was probably due to her disparaging remarks about his appearance and whereabouts, as well as the fact that she was a Muggle.

Severus's recollections of his early interactions with Lily and Petunia show him to have been a reserved child, uncomfortable in social situations. Even when he tried to make a good impression, he found it difficult to do so.

Lily was probably the only thing that brought joy in Snape’s life. For the rest of his days, he never stopped loving her.

Sorted Into Slytherin, by Juniper.

Ah first year of Hogwarts, quite an exciting day for all young wizards and witches from all over but for Severus Snape it would be his start to a life where he lost all he loved. Although we know most to nothing about what happens directly after getting sorted into Slytherin. But we can make an educated guess.

For Severus, the Sorting Hat's decision was a defining moment. He found himself being pushed into the Slytherins web-like house. The house that was renowned for its ambition, cunning, and resourcefulness. This sorting could have brought a sense of pride, as Slytherin was the house of many great wizards, including the legendary merlin. However, this newfound (vet theoretical) pride was most likely shadowed by feelings of isolation and detachment.

Severus, who had endured a troubled childhood and had a strained relationship with his family, entered Hogwarts hoping for a fresh start. Only to lose something very dear to him slowly.

Creating the Sectumsempra Spell, by Prelude.

Snape was a talented wizard from an early age. According to Sirius Black, he knew more spells in his first year than most seventh years. During his time at Hogwarts, Snape invented many spells, one of the most dangerous being one that inflicted sword-like cuts on its victim. The incantation for this spell was ‘Sectumsempra’. Snape shared all of this in his potion manual, to which he regularly added annotations. In this manual, he would refer to himself under the pseudonym ‘’The Half-blood Prince‘’. The book then fell into Harry Potter's hands in his sixth year, and he used the spell on Draco Malfoy, inflicting severe lacerations. Harry Potter then tried to use the spell against Snape, who countered it and then revealed himself to be the Half-Blood Prince.

The Prank, by Juniper.

Although Severus has many key memories from his life during the years he was a student at Hogwarts, one that stands out above all is the infamous prank. Marauder fans hate it because it shows the ugly colors of the group's prince, Sirius Black, and Severus apologists use it to defend him. Today, we will discuss it.

This particular memory forming moment occurred during their fifth year. Sirius, seeking to humiliate Severus, tricked him into venturing down the Whomping Willows secret age, leading to the Shrieking Shack. Unknown to Severus, waiting at the end of this age was a fully transformed Remus Lupin (guess you can say he was lupin around), meaning a werewolf under the effect of the full moon was waiting for him. It was a situation that brought danger, as Severus could have been gravely injured or worse (killed).

The consequences of this prank were severe and far-reaching. James Potter intervened just in time to save Severus, but the experience left an indelible mark on him. Not only did it deepen his mistrust and animosity towards the Marauders, but it also highlighted the reckless and, at times, cruel nature of Sirius. The event became a pivotal moment in the tangled web of their relationships, influencing their interactions for years to come.

C]In the more blatant context, this incident is a truth to the darker side of the teenage Marauders, often overshadowed by their fans and the fanon goodie two shoes version of them. It serves as a reminder that even beloved characters are not without their flaws, and actions taken in the heat of youth can have lasting repercussions.

Betraying Lily, by Prelude.

At Hogwarts, Severus became close to students who would later become Death Eaters, such as Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy. His interest in the dark arts and his association with future ers of Voldemort distanced Lily, who strongly disapproved of such magic and ideology.

At the end of their fifth year at Hogwarts, after an exam, James Potter and Sirius Black attacked Severus for no apparent reason. They magically suspended him in the air, putting him in an embarrassing position where his underwear was visible. James ridiculed him by playing the hero in front of Lily Evans, who tried to defend Severus.

Humiliated and furious, Severus lost his temper and called Lily a ‘Mud-blood’, a deeply offensive insult for a witch born of Muggle parents. Despite his repeated apologies afterwards, this event marked the definitive end of their friendship.

One Spy Two Sides, by Juniper.

Not much is known about when exactly Severus ed the Death Eaters or became an undercover agent for the Order of the Phoenix, but we do know some things. Severus Snape's life as a double agent began after he overheard a prophecy made by Sybill Trelawney. The prophecy spoke of a child who would have the power to defeat Lord Voldemort. Severus relayed this information to Voldemort, unaware that it would lead to the targeting of Lily Potter(neé Evans), the woman he loved despite betraying them in their younger years.

When Severus realized that Voldemort intended to kill Lily and her family, he was devastated. Desperate to save her, Severus sought out Albus Dumbledore and offered his services as a spy only if Dumbledore listened to his begging about hiding the Potter family.

Dumbledore agreed, and from that point began Severus's acting journey as a double agent.

Playing both sides like fiddles. But we don't know which side he was more loyal to truthfully as after Lily's death he seemingly tries to lay low although still reports to Dumbledore and even attends death eater meetings.

Lily’s Death, by Prelude.

On Halloween 1981, despite Dumbledore's best efforts, the Potters were found by Voldemort with the help of Peter Pettigrew. Voldemort murdered James and Lily that night, and also tried to take young Harry's life. Lily's death completely devastated Snape, who also wished to take his own life. However, at Dumbledore's request, and out of respect for Lily's memory, Snape spent the rest of his life protecting Harry.

In the films, Snape's memory of Lily's death is illustrated by a scene in which he goes to the Potters' house and holds the body of the woman he loves in his arms. However heartbreaking this scene may be, it is an interpretation by the screenwriters, as it is never mentioned in the books that Snape was present that night.

Meeting Harry Potter, by Juniper.

In the year 1991, the child of Severus's long lost love had arrived at the very institute he taught at. This would prove to be a rather unusual meeting for Severus. Harry Potter, with his untidy black hair and striking green eyes, bore an uncanny resemblance to his mother, Lily.

The sight of the boy stirred a complex web of emotions within Severus-grief for Lily, disdain for James Potter, and a sense of duty imposed by his promise to Dumbledore.

Severus Acted as if he didn't care, which truly seemed to be the case until it came to his own classroom. In his classroom it was like he saw Harry as a reminder of lily with his eyes but he mostly resembles James which brought out the worst in him. He in his adult life, still haunted by his bullying, ended up bullying Harry so he wouldn't get attached and show care for the child as it was his job not to. He as a double agent had the job to report on Harry to Voldemort and inform Dumbledore of things. We can guess this is how Severus felt and acted out due to knowing other events from his life and how he genuinely reacted.

Protecting Harry during his first Quidditch match, by Prelude.

During Harry Potter's first Quidditch match at Hogwarts, when he was playing as a Catcher for the Gryffindor team, his broom suddenly became uncontrollable. The handle began to shake violently, trying to throw him off.

Hermione Granger noticed Snape staring intently at Harry while muttering incantations. Thinking he was casting a spell to harm her friend, she set Snape's robes on fire to distract him.

In reality, Snape was trying to protect Harry. Having noticed that the broom was bewitched, he recited a counter-spell to counter the spell cast by Quirrell, who was trying to bring Harry down. The fire interrupted Snape, but fortunately it was enough to break Quirrell's concentration, putting an end to the spell.

Snape saved Harry's life that day, although no one realised it at the time. Harry, Ron and Hermione where biased in their accusations of Snape, by his strict and cold behaviour as their teacher.

Protecting the trio from Lupin, by Juniper

On June 6, 1994, Severus would be placed in James' shoes from all those years ago when James saved him. This time it wouldn't be from a prank, it would be from a horrible accident just waiting to happen. On the night of June 6th, while chasing down Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to handle the situation, Severus found himself once again facing the danger of a fully transformed werewolf.

Having the children flee the shack with Lupin as he dealt with Sirius was a good idea at first. But when Severus got outside he saw the monster that Remus had become once again. (No slander to Remus fans!) Severus, despite the way his body jerked with trauma for a second, still left himself between the children and Remus, showing no fear despite the fact he was in the children's place once before. Severus was willing to get hurt or worse so he could protect these children who on the outside he despised.

Severus was willing to risk his life for children who he had no obligation to save. They aren't his students after hours yet he was the only one who came to save them knowing that night was a full moon and that Remus was a werewolf therefore he deserves more credit that he was given.

The Unbreakable Vow, by Prelude.

Severus Snape's Unbreakable Vow is a key moment in the story of *Harry Potter*, having a major impact on the course of events.

The vow takes place before Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts, when Narcissa Malfoy, in desperation over the mission given to her son Draco by Lord Voldemort, visits Snape to ask for help. Voldemort has ordered Draco to kill Albus Dumbledore, an act intended to punish Lucius Malfoy for his failure in the Department of Mysteries and to test Draco's loyalty.

Fearing for her son's life, Narcissa begs Snape to protect Draco and carry out the mission if he fails. Bellatrix Lestrange, suspicious of Snape's intentions, attends the meeting and insists that he prove his loyalty by sealing his promise with an Unbreakable Vow.

By accepting this vow, Snape magically binds himself irrevocably. Breaking an Unbreakable Vow results in the immediate death of the one who breaks it.

This vow resulted in the murder of Albus Dumbledore by Snape, Draco being incapable of committing such an act. This murder, although planned in advance by its victim, would make Snape look like a traitor in Harry's eyes.

Summoning the Doe, by Juniper.

The doe that helped save Harry, which one would assume came from the ghost of Lilly, truthfully came from the memory of Lily; specifically from Severus Snape. The memory of Lily bringing him joy saved Harry. Severus's love for Lily Evans was the most profound and enduring emotion of his life, and it was this love that powered his Patronus. When Harry was on the run from Voldemort, Severus used his Patronus to guide him to the Sword of Gryffindor, an essential tool for destroying Horcruxes.

In the depths of the Forest of Dean, Harry saw the silver doe for the first time. Its ethereal glow illuminated the dark woods, leading Harry to a frozen pond where the sword lay beneath the ice. The Patronus vanished, but its presence had a lasting impact. It was only later that Harry learned the true identity of the doe's caster. The doe is Severus' call to tell Harry he's on his side even with how he acted to harry. And with that we have come to a close on Severus' doe casting.

Revealing his memories to Harry, by Prelude.

During the Battle of Hogwarts, Voldemort summoned Snape to the shrieking shack. He revealed that he believed Snape to be the master of the Elder Wand, as it was he who had killed Dumbledore. Therefore, for Voldemort to become master of the Elder Wand, he would have to kill Snape. Snape tried to escape, but was attacked by Nagini and succumbed to his wounds. Harry, who had been watching the whole scene in secret, then went to retrieve a cloud of memories created by Snape. Harry later took the memories to the Pensieve in Dumbledore's office to find out the truth, which greatly changed Harry's opinion of his teacher.

It is interesting to note that in the book it is a cloud of memory that Snape gives to Harry, and not his tears as in the film. However, I think this artistic liberty taken by the scriptwriters is very appropriate, and is part of one of the most emotional scenes in the saga.

Junipers sources:

[HP Lexicon|]https://www.hp -lexicon.orq/event/sirius-black-plavs-a-fateful/]

Prelude’s sources:

Note that Prelude used https://quillbot.com/ to correct possible grammatical errors, as well as Deepl for translation as she's not an native english speaker.

The Complexity of Severus Snape

Severus Snape is a man of multiple complexities. Whether he was actually a hero or a true villain is up for debate still even today. While he may have been a spy for Dumbledore he still willingly chose to be a death eater. There’s also the fact that even though he swore to protect Lily’s son he still relentlessly bullied Harry and other students. Snape is a man who has flip flopped sides more than an interior designer. I for one have always landed somewhat neutral in the great Snape debate. I neither hate him nor love him. While he has done some good one cannot simply ignore the bad either. I think it’s time we actually delve into the complex personality of one Severus Snape.

One of the first things we should look at when analyzing a character's personality is their motivations. Someone’s motivations can be a driving force in how they behave or present themselves. It’s never been a secret that one of Severus Snape's biggest motivations was and still is Lily Potter. Snape was in love with Lily and that love was often a driving force in some of the decisions he made. Lily choosing James over Snape was a driving force in him ing Voldemort's side. While we as a society must acknowledge the harmful effects that something such as the Marauders prank can have on someone. It does not excuse Snape ing a terrorist organization. Death eaters are essentially the Nazis of wizarding Britain and Snape willingly chose to them because of a prank and being rejected. On the other side of the scale we see him use that as a motivation to switch sides when Voldemort does Killy Lilly despite Severus pleading with him. Let’s be honest, agreeing to Dumbledore helped keep him out of Azkaban but he was also motivated by his love for Lily. This is why he agrees to help and protect Harry. However this is up for debate given how he actually treated most of the students, Harry included.

Now Severus’s beliefs are another contentious topic. If you’re looking at from his angle as a death eater then you’re among the group that says he believes in eradicating mudbloods and ing the superior bloodlines. Now if you’re on the other side you’ll say that he believes in the light side and equality for all. Now let’s step back and look at it from a completely different point of view. You can have a side, there's nothing wrong with that. However I want to present the view that Snape doesn’t actually believe in good or evil, rather he believes in only himself. I’m of the feeling that Severus Snape didn’t believe in either side, rather he only believed in his wants and needs. This also ties back into his motivations and overall most likely into his actual allegiance. When he originally ed Voldemort's side his love for Lily and being rejected were his motivation. However I think his need for power also played a part. Now this is just my opinion but think about it. I think Snape believed that if he ed Voldemort he would gain power and somehow entice Lily to him. He asked the dark lord to spare her and just kill only James and Harry. If she’s devastated he can swoop in and be the shoulder she needs. When Voldemort was defeated and Lily killed, that belief in the dark no longer benefited him. He then switched sides believing that the protection of Albus Dumbledore and ing the light would benefit his need for power and control. We even see this belief when he’s teaching. Snape has never once wavered in how he teaches believing he’s doing the right way. Yes it’s important to be careful in potions however this can be taught with less abuse. The belief in only himself was one of his failings as a teacher and a person.

My final point touches on his overall alignment and actual standing as a good or bad person. Look I’m not going into this expecting everyone to agree with me. If you want to see Snape as a tortured soul who found redemption in his last breaths. Good for you. However, I’m of the opinion that Severus Snape was not only a terrible teacher but also a terrible man. As I stated before Snape was neither good nor bad. His only allegiance was to himself. When being a death eater no longer suited his wants or needs he jumped ship to the light side. He never truly wanted to help or protect Harry. His motivation for that was his obsession for Lilly and need to seek revenge. Another point that puts him on the truly horrible scale is his abuse of children that he is supposed to teach. We know he is biased when it comes to Slytherins and Draco who is his godson. He will always be biased and loyal to them. His two favorite targets aside from Gryffindors are Harry and Neville. We’ll start with Neville. Snape treated Neville so horribly that when they had the boggart lesson his was Severus Snape himself. You have to be a truly terrible person for a child’s biggest fear to be you. Now onto Harry. From day one Snape targeted Harry because of his hatred for James Potter. Despite Harry being Lily’s son as well. He saw teaching Harry as his one chance for revenge despite Harry having done nothing wrong. Abusing children is never redeemable. In the end Severus Snape was an evil man who’s only ally was himself.

Severus Snape a lot like Albus Dumbledore will always be a contentious debate. There will be those who say he was always evil. There will be those who say he was good in the end. You might end up just being in the middle of this debate. We can acknowledge the good he’s done. But we must never forget the evil he actually committed and embodied.

Source:

LeiLei

By: Nana

Time taken: 15 minutes

Apps/software used: Pinterest, PicsArt and Canva

Process: I got the pictures from Pinterest, then found a good collage template on canvas, chose which pictures would look good where then saved it and added some other things on it in Picsart.

The Silent Guardian - Mea Culpa

Word count: 2383

The faint creak of the classroom door echoed through the still corridor. My head snapped up and my grip on my wand tightened instinctively. The door should have been locked. I know I locked it. Was someone foolish enough to break into my classroom? Did they think I wouldn’t notice? Moving silently through the shadows, my robes brushed against the cold stone walls. No student would dare break into my classroom without reason. Which meant they were either too reckless to fear me… or they had come looking for something specific.

As I neared the doorway, the soft shuffle of footsteps reached my ears. Peering into the dimly lit room, I spotted the culprit – a student hunched over my desk, their wand aimed at a hidden drawer. My lips curled into a sneer. Fools, all of them. The student hesitated, scanning the desk, then reached for the third drawer. Not at random. They knew. I felt something cold stir in my chest. Had they been watching me? No, impossible. Had someone sent them? A professor? A student?

I lingered for a moment, watching as they whispered the incantation, “Aparecium.” My breath hitched as a faint glow spread across the parchment they had just retrieved. My parchment. Slowly, the ink swirled and reshaped itself, revealing the contents I had painstakingly concealed. A letter – a detailed plan I had crafted to track and counter the dangers surrounding Harry Potter. Spells, strategies, contingencies – all meticulously laid out. Information I had sworn to keep hidden at all costs.

The sight of my work being so casually exposed filled me with a cold, simmering rage. How dare they? My grip on my wand tightened as I pushed the door open with a sharp bang, the sound reverberating through the room like thunder. The student froze, their head snapping up, fear flashing across their face. Good. They should be afraid.

“Do you think you can meddle in matters far beyond your comprehension?” I snarled, my voice cutting through the silence like a blade. I swept into the room, robes billowing behind me as I closed the distance between us in a few quick strides. The parchment glowed faintly on the desk – evidence of their audacity. Before they could react, I snatched it up, my fingers clenching around the edges as fury flared within me.

The student stammered something unintelligible – an excuse, no doubt – but I silenced them with a sharp glare. “Enough.” My voice was cold, unwavering. My gaze bore into them, unrelenting. “You dare invade my private space? To uncover things you cannot begin to understand?” My tone dropped lower, more dangerous, as I stepped closer, my shadow engulfing them. “What gave you the impression that you had the right to pry into matters that do not concern you?”

The sheer brazenness of their actions struck a nerve, and my vainglorious pride flared. How dare they imagine themselves clever enough to outwit me? The thought alone was an insult to my intellect, my abilities. My lip curled into a sneer as I muttered, “Pathetic.” Shaking my head, I stuffed the letter into the folds of my robes.

I took a slow breath, steadying myself. Anger simmered beneath my skin, but I would not allow it to boil over. Control. Always control. “Get out,” I said, my voice low, cold – like the whisper of a blade before it strikes. The student hesitated, frozen in place. My wand twitched ever so slightly, a subtle warning. Without another word, they scrambled toward the door, fear radiating off them. I turned my back as they fled, the soft creak of the door followed by a quiet click of the lock.

Alone once more, I pulled the letter from my robes and stared at it, my jaw clenched. My fingers smoothed the crumpled edges, eyes scanning the swirling ink that had so easily betrayed my careful secrecy. The rage still burned, but it was no longer directed at the student. No, my anger was now reserved for myself. How could I have been so careless as to leave something so crucial in a place so easily discovered?

Doubt flickered at the edges of my mind as my fingers hovered over the parchment. Perhaps it would be best to destroy it. The contents of this letter were far too dangerous to risk exposure. But no. I couldn’t. This was my work, my plan, my promise. I had created this not for myself, but for him – the boy I despised yet was bound to protect. For her. Always for her. With a heavy sigh, I tucked the letter away once more and strode toward the door, locking it behind me. My secrets would remain safe.

At least for now.

I moved through the dimly lit dungeon corridor, my footsteps echoing softly against the cold stone floor. The torches flickered, casting long shadows that danced along the walls. The air was thick with dampness, the familiar scent of brewed potions lingering from earlier lessons. Reaching my office, I pushed the heavy wooden door open and stepped inside. The room was small, lined with shelves of glass jars, their contents suspended in murky liquids. The fire in the hearth crackled weakly, the only source of warmth against the dungeon’s chill.

I exhaled slowly and reached into my robes. My fingers brushed against the parchment, its edges rough beneath my touch. Even locked away, it would not leave me. With a flick of my wand, the door clicked shut behind me. The grading would have to wait.

[C]- - -

Fuzzy flames flickered around me, I only noticed them peripherally as my true focus was on the small stack of parchment to be graded. Nothing more than a mere pile of undiscovered disappointment disguised as what students believe to be ‘effort’; they are practically helpless. Not often does my stomach churn with unease, and usually I can turn off my thoughts much like tuning a muggle radio but that letter has completely consumed my thoughts. I reach into my robe, feeling the soft crinkled parchment bending between my fingers. With a heavy sigh and a glance over the shoulder, I place the letter on my desk in front of me. The stack of assignments now pushed slightly to the side. As my eyes scan the document in a slow torture, the hidden words scream off the page in an uncomfortable increasing volume.

Potter. I snarl and turn my lip up, even though I am completely alone. Even in private the mere thought of the boy can be utterly disturbing. Though sometimes, quite rarely does the boy turn his cheek and my eyes shift to catch a glimpse of a soft jawline coupled with gleaming green eyes that seemed to have been polished with the same eye-watering laughter Lily had all those years ago. To top it off, the corners of his lips curl upwards in the same manner of his insufferable father which makes me question whether this has all been truly worth it.

My peccability has been my greatest regret. The way I can disregard morals with ease may have been exactly what led to this very moment. Staring at the page, the disguised words that have so much more behind them than their use. It’s almost as if the words wrap around me in a haunting sense, they’ve been with me from the moment I saw him. Of course my focus was not on the infant wailing for his now inept mother, no, it was her.

My eyes closed with such weight, they were practically forced shut. My breath escapes me, as if I had also in that moment caught death.

Decisions.

When did I let decisions control my own mind? I have always felt an impeccable control for my own mind, but one cannot discipline the soul. The very soul that has been scarred by every choice that brought me to this moment. Sometimes I find myself recalling things that had never happened, longings that I conjured only within the constraints of my psyche.

Guilty, I am guilty. There is this line separating my perceptible world from the intelligible one. The guilt began that day she approached, the day Lily had criticized me for my association with Avery and Mulciber. If she could say “I told you so”, it would have been said far before now. The disappointment she must feel is far beyond any depths I can comprehend, though I try. This guilt follows me, it rests within my shadow, I smell it in the breeze from the astronomy tower, I feel it in the cool splash of water on my face in the mornings, and I watch it make merciless attacks on those around me. The selfishness is something I will never forgive myself for.

It will never leave me, only in my ing could I possibly part with these manifestations. I’ve silently dedicated this part of my life to the aid of one Harry Potter. Rather than sulk in my regrets like a fool, I’ve become consciously aware of all I can do to keep him safe, alive.

Will it ever be enough? Enough for one to attribute partial success of Potter to the disturbed potions professor. May I once be mentioned in ing? It is not about credit or glory, it never was. Would she be proud? I’ve failed every step of the way. From the moment I boarded that stuffy train, to this very moment at my desk, I have failed over and over. It is an ill feeling, one that makes me contemplate my entire magic affiliation.

Am I capable of redemption?

I allow these ghastly thoughts to wither away, as I have finally found the strength to once again open my eyes.

- - -

The candlelight flickers in the dim office, shadows dancing across the walls like ghosts. I sit motionless, the crumpled letter resting before me on the desk. My fingers ghost over the parchment’s edges, smoothing out the creases the student left behind.

A mistake. A foolish mistake, I scold myself, though I am not sure if it is directed at the student or at my own carelessness. I should have burned this letter long ago. Should have never put ink to paper in the first place. But some desperate, foolish part of me had needed to see it – the proof of my quiet, unthanked labor. The evidence that I have done something good. That I am more than the sum of my sins.

With a slow flick of my wand, I mutter, “Aparecium.” The ink bleeds to life beneath my gaze, letters swimming across the page like whispered confessions.

There, in my own precise script, lays the delicate web of protective enchantments I have cast. Hexes woven into the very foundation of Hogwarts, subtle and undetectable, steering Potter away from unseen dangers. Counter-curses placed on objects and corridors the boy will never think twice about. The calculated, careful interventions that have ensured he will live another year, another day. And in the margins, in between the rigid lines of spells and precautions, are the notes, the truths I can never speak aloud.

“He has his mother’s eyes.”

I inhale sharply, my jaw tightening.

It always comes back to her.

Lily.

Her name alone is a knife, a wound that refuses to close. I squeeze my eyes shut, but it does nothing to banish the memories. The way she laughed once, bright and unburdened, before the world twisted us both into something unrecognizable. The way she said my name – my real name – not with contempt, not with the bite of mockery, but with warmth. And the way her eyes, those same green eyes, looked at me one final time from the body of her son before the light in them went out forever.

My hands clenched into fists over the parchment, my breath coming in slow, measured inhales. I cannot afford to fall apart now. I never can.

“Look at me.”

The memory of my own voice haunts me, those final words rasping out of my throat as my body failed me. Had I meant them for myself? Had I wanted to be seen, just once, as something more than the bitter, loathsome man I have become?

I let out a humorless breath. It doesn’t matter.

My role is not to be seen. It never has been.

I have spent years ensuring Potter survives, never asking for recognition, never allowing the truth to surface. My manuductive nature – my guidance, my influence – has been carefully concealed beneath the facade of cruelty. I have steered the boy toward strength, toward caution, toward an understanding of what it means to fight. All of it done under the guise of hatred, because love – love is something I no longer have the right to claim. And yet, the boy still despises me. The world will never know the extent of what I have done, what I have given up.

Perhaps it is better that way.

My gaze flickers back to the parchment. I trace one of the inked words lightly, as if memorizing it, as if needing to remind myself that it is real. That my life has not been entirely without purpose. That in some way, I have mattered.

With a sharp inhale, I wave my wand and the ink disappears once more, sinking back into the fibers of the paper, unseen and unspoken. I fold the letter carefully, pressing it flat between my palms, before tucking it deep within my robes.

The candle on my desk flickers again, then goes out.

I stand, my steps slow as I move toward the door. I will not burn the letter. Not yet. Perhaps not ever.

Some burdens are meant to be carried alone.

I reach for the doorknob but hesitate for just a moment, my fingers brushing against the cold metal. Then, without another glance back, I step into the corridor, vanishing into the shadows where I have always belonged.