Small tw of s/h
This is unimportant. I just need to vent. If you read this I'm sorry for wasting your time. You really don't have to read it.
Anywhooo
I feel like all of my friends hate me, but they talk to me out of pity and stuff. I feel like they don't trust me at all.
I ask them if they're okay, and they lie to me by saying they're fine when I know they're not becuase the lie was really obvious. And I'm actually genuinely concerned about them. But they just say they're fine. I don't want to force them talk because I know they don't want to talk but it makes me concerned. Especially when friend A makes one of us talk and then friend B confesses that they s/h like 2 days ago. And I get really worried but they don't want to talk to anyone about it. They don't have a therapist, they just keep it a secret. But some of them share whats happening with them to each other and not to me. I don't mind that they talk to each other about whats happening in their lives becuase they need to talk to someone, but it just makes me feel like none of them trust me because none of them ever come to me for advice for anything anymore. They used a little when we where in middle school but that slowly stopped...
Ah sorry I'm probably sounding like a toddler...
Comments (4)
People who s/h can be extremely picky with who they tell, I wouldn't take it too personally on that subject because if they don't open up to you, you can't help them. It's not necessarily about just trust, some tell random strangers, some stick to a precise group, some just talk to those who can relate. But if they can't realise how their behavior makes you feel, maybe you should stop worrying about people who don't worry much about you. Think about it for a while, maybe sit down with them and have a serious conversation, but don't make yourself stay in an unhealthy environment if you have the ability to leave
Reply to: Léo the couch potato
I totally understand that they can be picky with who they tell because I used to s/h. So I get why they only tell certain people. But I probably should've worded this better. Let me give you an example:
Friend A: tells Friend B something and then asks Friend B how they are
Friend B: tells Friend A stuff because they feel more obligated to rather than they want to tell Friend A.
And then when we're together as a group Friend A trues and makes one us talk about how we're doing when it's obvious that we don't want to. I'm just concerned because to me it seems like they don't talk to anyone about it unless they're forced to or feel obligated/pressured into telling someone.
Also sorry this is a really late reply. I rarely open the app
Reply to: ore
It's fine! And yeah I understand but there's no full proof way to make them talk/open up/stop s/h until they break their own cycle or someone they love dearly finds out and does something. This is a sad situation but just be there if/when they decide they want to talk about it to you, this includes directing them towards someone who can help them if you yourself cannot, which is completely reasonable.
Reply to: Léo the couch potato
The only thing we could do is tell their parents, but I personally feel like that's something I shouldn't tell their parents, and it's something they should tell them themselves. Especially when they they in a toxic family environment. I'm always there for them, and they know that, but that choose to never talk about it unless certain situations like said before. But thanknyou though.