Dear loml

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╭─  ♡,, ⟶ .·.   ⊹. ,(｡･ω･｡❀)  ° .─╮

┊       welcome to this letter

╰──────────────── ♡.°୭̥

It's 4am as I'm writing this mess of a post for you but I wanted to write something since it's our 3 month anniversary. I've wanted to write something for each month that ed by, it was always at the back of my head but I was just too emotionally drained and I didn't want to make a half assed post because you deserve better than that. I'm not gonna try make this long by adding more words, I just want to write down all the feelings I can comprehend.

Let's get this out of the way first, I fucking love you. I don't the last time I've loved anything to this extent. I can't the last time I woke up and my first thought immediately going to that specific thing that makes me happy. And then you decided to show up in my life and that very obviously changed. I didn't even think I'd ever date a boy but well here we are; honestly you're one of the few dudes who give men a good reputation. Ever since we started dating I just love you more and more everyday, it's difficult not to. Everything you do makes me feel soft, I'm just whipped for you in every aspect.

What even can't you do?? You're like actual perfection and I know I tell you this everyday but I mean it every single time. You treat me as if I'm the only girl ever and make my heart explode. You make me want to actually live and do something with my life. This sounds cringy but it's true. Sometimes I really have difficulty believing I don't get on your nerves considering how much I bother you on a daily basis when you're already busy with other things. You always say you don't mind and that I don't bother you but I'm never going to believe you because even if I annoyed you, you'd probably never tell me. You always know what to say and how to make me feel better. You always calm me down. You somehow manage to handle me when I don't even know how to handle myself. You met me and are still with me on what I consider my worst but you're still with me for some reason.

Enough sad shit, here's some things that I love about you. I love it whenever we match names or profile pictures, I love it when you send voice notes and weird stickers and your fucking adorable laugh that makes me melt. I wish you knew how much I love your laugh. I love the way you talk and whenever you talk about things you like like your anime bois or whatever. I love that we share so many opinions and I love that you're not judgemental. Though you're a nasty broccoli er, you're still an intellectual. And I can't forget how for some reason we listen to the same types of songs and then freak out about it when we find out we both like the same song. I love how you understand me like no one else. I love it when I scroll up in team chats and for some reason you're always going to mention me in something, I love how you're constantly checking up on me, I love how thoughtful and incredible you are. I love how calm and collected you act in situations I would have lost my shit in.

From what I've noticed you're not really the insanely, crazy jealous type either, you don't make me feel trapped and isolated. I still feel the same amount of freedom i had before the relationship. My friends always get surprised that you don't do the type of shit their boyfriends do. We have this mutual trust in each other and I value that so fucking much.

I love how you never hesitate to defend the people you love, you never hesitate to defend me at least. Your presence makes me feel safe. I love how you always hype me up regardless of what I'm doing. I love how fucking funny you are; you have managed to make me laugh even when I was lowkey crying. I love your chaotic energy and when you send questionable stickers. I love our inside jokes. I love it when we're moderating and you're laughing your ass off at something that's disturbing to me. I love your art. I love that you love animals. I love that you don't get mad at me when I prank you with dumb shit tho I deserve to be yelled at djdjdj. I love the no u wars and the nicknames. I love it when you go on panic mode and I love it when you try to get me to panic. I love it when you call me yours because I'm reminded "damn, I'm really dating the best human being on earth." And not only even just "the best boy" but human in general, not even girls can be as good as you and we are all also vv aware of how much I appreciate women. I love how you sacrificed your entire jeongin folder for me. I love how hyped up you are for spooky season. I love it when you get mad at something and start swearing like it's so sjsjsbsb. I love your art and tiny doodles and handwriting. I love how for some reason you're always in the bath. I love your face. I'm gonna take a moment to appreciate your face for a second because wow you could be a model. I love your existence in general. There's probably only three things I don't like, 1) that you're too far away for me to give you forehead kisses, 2) when you just say your day has been "okay", like sir, I need a detailed explanation here pls I want to know about your day :pensive: :hand: and 3) that you said you were insecure about your height like aaa my baby you're fucking perfect, your height is perfect I'm in love sjsjj. I'm like two inches taller than you so if we were to hug, the hug would 11/10 be comfortable and that's not a bad thing at all (for me at least because i wouldn't let you go for a good two hours). ALSO DJSBSB WHEN YOU DELETE MESSAGES ISTG JOJO IM GONNA THROW A PLUSHIE AT YOU FROM ACROSS THE OCEAN (I'm not putting a number on this one because I can't count past 3 shhh :anguished: :fearful: :cold_sweat: )

You're always on my mind. Like literally at all times. I never shut the fuck up talking about you (p.s all my friends think you're a cutie). Sometimes I something random you've said and start smiling and people get very confused; especially when I look like a lovestruck idiot in the middle of math class and am completely lost in thought while thinking about you while everyone else is trying to figure on what's going on. Or when I'm in English class and they're talking about grammar meanwhile I'm over there doodling your name. I love you so much I could talk about you for hours. You make me just so happy and all I want is for you to be happy and feel loved the same way you make me feel. To say that you make me feel like I'm walking on clouds is an understatement. I'm at a point in life where I can't even imagine myself with anyone else, I've said this before but I wouldn't trade you even for Hyunjin and we all know how much I love Hyunjin. It was the second I said I loved you more than Hyunjin that I realized I really fell too deep and that there's no going back lmao. There's so many things to love about you as you can see so I'm gonna try stop being such a het and stfu before you get tired of reading all this. The jojo journal is still a work in progress, I haven't stopped putting shit in that so I'm just gonna continue writing more of this there and then you're gonna get the journal once I complete the last page.

I'm going to end this by saying thank you for taking time out of your life to get to know me and love me as much as you do. Thank you for not rejecting me when I asked you out. You've truly been one of the few good things to happen in 2019, one of the best things to happen in my lifetime generally. With my philosophy teacher we had this lecture about life and relationships overall and she described what a significant other should be like and the description fit you but you're even better than the description. I'm still so sjsjn that we went from hating each other to being in love, honestly the universe works in the weirdest ways but I'm not complaining. I want you to understand you're just the fucking best and that I'd pick you everytime over and over again even if I could go back in time and change my choices. With all my heart I hope that what we have going on will last for a long time. I love you more than anything ever and I know I always will.

happy three month anniversary

I love you ♡