:cloud: 𖥻 gose but it’s british tv shows

hi hello ka !! zay here today with something that has been drafted for a criminally long time despite its slightly short length. if the title didn’t explain it well enough, in this blog—𝙣𝙤—indirect cry for help, i will be listing some of the most iconic british tv shows i watched growing up and explaining why they would make the perfect going seventeen episodes. i’m also doing this because i’m anticipating failing my exam prelims this year, so pledis can give me the dream job i don’t need physics for; besides, seeing seungkwan and hoshi’s next scrap in PERSON would be more honourable than hearing my mum say she’s proud of me. seeing as it took me three days to write this intro alone and i have no more sarcasm to dish out, let’s start !!

starting off strong we have gbbo!! bake off is an absolute STAPLE in this country as you should know, and if you don’t then now i’m telling you. while most things about bake off are nice and lovely, the thing i cant stand about them (and mostly myself) is the fact the bakers make their job look so easy. that show really has me watching the tv like “wow, i could do that” when in reality my baking skills are putting an aldi brioche in the toaster. what the FUCK makes me think i could make sandra’s jasmine and orange blossom macarons or wtv. it’s okay to dream i guess 🫶🏽 gbbo gets you interested in baking and you don’t even have to know what they’re making to be intrigued. i have personally never ate a mixed cheese and tomato focaccia before but bake off has me wondering about it now. there’s also celebrity bake off which is often filmed for comic relief and charities, which is a lovely idea. it’s a lovely idea because half the people on it have only had cooking experience by frying an egg, which nicely segways into why i think it’s perfect for a gose episode :heart:

bake off is often chaotic, and chaotic is often seventeen. even thinking about letting them all near a kitchen sounds like a health hazard <3 jk of course… or am i…? 🤔 gbbo would be absolute hell on earth for these poor men knowing how some of them cook. don’t get me wrong, i know the have the ability to function like a normal human in a kitchen but alas, vernon’s burger “incident” is what comes to mind when i think of svt in this situation. but at the same time this would be quality entertainment! :heart_eyes: i love the idea of giving them recipes and sending them off to contemplate their career choice while cooking ;) i’d propose the idea of having in teams as it would be easier and make sense for gose episodes. like regular bake off there would be judges and hosts, and i think for seventeen gbbo (or gsbo 🤔) there should be two judges and one host. :exclamation: cue quick maths time :exclamation: : since 2+1=3 and 13-3=10 that means there would be ten remaining , which would mean five teams. i love how i’m imagining all this and trying to make it sensible when it’s not even happening :broken_heart: pledis HIRE ME!!!!!

the chase is yet another iconic tv show here (much like every one in this blog but shhhh), yet for some reason i feel like it’s the most popular out of the lot. i’m not even joking when i say that 9/10 times i walk past a window i see the chase on tv inside. sometimes i look around at night and spot bradley walsh on someone’s tv and have a mini heart attack :worried: . the chase is just your average trivial game show but there’s something about it that makes it better than the rest of them; maybe it’s just me and the fact i like to play along with it. the way this show is formatted makes you want to play along and forget the actual contestants (bc who needs them when you can make YOURSELF feel clever :massage: 🏽‍♀). sometimes watching it gets you so annoyed at contestants for not knowing basic information that you find yourself screaming at the tv. or maybe you don’t and i’m strange🤞🏽. i’m bad at describing but wikipedia says the show works like this : ‘contestants play against a professional quizzer, known as the “chaser”, who attempts to prevent them from winning a cash prize’.

moving on, i really wanted the chase to be a going seventeen episode after watching the sidemen play it. you might think half of these ideas are already sidemen videos but i promise this is the only idea i stole from them, they’ve just done literally every tv show you can think of :”). i used to watch them so much and honestly the sidemen chase had me CRYING. LIKE FULL ON SOBBING. TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE FROM LAUGHING I TELL YOU. literally i had to pause and collect myself so many times through the whole thing bro. seeing them joking around like that made me think of seventeen and their 24/7 nonstop jokes and the fact anything they do is hilarious. since the chase has different chasers usually per episode, it would make sense to have one overall host, two chasers (one per episode) and ten contestants (five per episode). watching them try to outdo each other’s general knowledge skills and just experience the MESS that would be going svt : the chase would be a blessing.

the first word that comes in to my mind when i think of cdwm is ‘awful’ :heart: . i don’t think like this because the show itself is awful, i would not dare disrespect my queen cdwm, but it’s rather because the contestants are awful. i am SO nice today. despite the show still running to this day, i see come dine with me as peak 2000’s british tv because that’s when i watching it most—though i swear it’s been airing longer than i have been alive. come dine with me is pretty much about about strangers having and hosting dinners at home for eachother, each competing for the title of ultimate dinner party host (so special ikr!!) and a cash prize. it might sound mid and kind of boring until you see where the real entertainment is at, and that is in the actual dinners being served. some of the contestants make the most AWFUL, WRETCHED, DISGUSTING things you could FATHOM :yum: for example the other day i seen a clip from the 2000’s of a woman putting sausages in jelly trifle, which sums up the entire show pretty well!!

despite the downright horrors of cdwm it’s actually quite funny, which is why i thought it would make such a good going seventeen episode. i want them to conjure up then create the most awful dishes known to mankind (or serve a normal meal, who knows, they are capable of many things 🤔). then i want them to pettily judge each other’s skills; in cdwm the contestants rate each other /10 and whoever has the highest combined score wins. i just know we would have hoshi rating seungkwan a 1 for the mere reason that he is seungkwan. in cdwm the contestants are either duos or just singular people, but to make life a lot more easier the could just be put in their units. like the vocal team, the performance team and the hiphop team. to spice things up even more you could add a staff unit for funsies 🫶🏽

catchphrase is the type of show that you only watch when you’re eating dinner and there’s literally nothing else on. that’s the only way i can describe it. it’s not BAD at all but like, if you’re routinely watching catchphrase are you okay ?? :cold_sweat: ? now for those who are reading this thinking ‘zay, what’s catchphrase and why are you acting like this’, then let me sum it up for you; catchphrase is a show revolving around contestants watching (terrifying) animations of phrases/sayings that only someone elderly could find an answer for, and attempting to guess the right catchphrases. don’t get me wrong i’m not trying to be nasty, i just find the animations rather scary :worried: even the mascot is enough to make your shiver in plain fear. if you go to google right now and type in “catchphrase mr chips” you will see a happy joyful yellow MONSTER. in general the animations aren’t outright bad and whoever works on them is doing a very good job. i am just overly dramatic :pray: 🏽 yet still, the fear of catchphrase animations has been instilled in me and probably won’t go away soon.

to be honest, i think the funny animations is what led me to choose catchphrase as a show for this blog. like imagine seventeen having to stare at the mortifying mr chips animations and guess them :sob: to make it even better the catchphrases could be funny things that the themselves have said before. i feel like they’d enjoy it since they have so many nonsensical moments they must . the way the show is set out there are three contestants and the show’s regular host in every episode, so for gose i would think the best option is to have the (gose) episode’s host and four teams of three. i’m not too sure what the winning prize would be since catchphrase contestants receive money during the show, where they’ll get certain amounts for each phrase they guess correctly. if we are talking *realistically* here seventeen would probably get a box of bbq meat, a packet of haribo star mix and a fiver along the way but for an idol game show i guess that’s fine ! and it’s in gose budget as well? perfect :heart_eyes:

total wipeout is something i’m sure not only people from the uk will since it has a few versions in other countries too. it was popular for such a long time despite its only five years of running. i turning on the tv on a saturday night when i was small to see a bunch of grown adults falling about a water obstacle course—which as you can imagine is the funniest thing for a child. what more could an eight year old want? 🤨 i i used to watch it all the time and be so excited for the new episodes to come on and then it got cancelled. how sad was that :unamused: i knew there was still other versions from other places but i missed watching og total wipeout on bbc for like ages (which was probably two long, sad days, and then i never thought about it ever again 🤞🏽). to explain the show, a bunch of contestants would try to get through a few rounds of assault courses in either watery or muddy pools. each round would narrow down the amount of people until there was one person left who’d get a trophy and a cash prize. like we established before, i do not think the gose team have around £10,000 to spare as a prize so something like the idol classic ‘pack of bbq meat :tm: ’ would work just as well.

what led me to add total wipeout on this list was ing seventeen’s ttt III episode. as soon as i seen them on the water course it reminded me of total wipeout and from there i knew it would be a perfect show to put them on. im sure there was another time they filmed in a waterpark/assault course type of thing but i cant for the life of me right now 🙁 who knows. still, their ttt had me DYING. as i watched, i kept on thinking about how seventeen have the gifted ability to make absolutely anything they do funny. it’s great that there is thirteen of them; it’s just thirteen times the witty comments, thirteen times the (friendly!!!!!) bullying and thirteen times the overall chaos :exclamation: personally i would love to see seventeen mercilessly racing along a muddy obstacle course. it’s just peak entertainment at this point. it would be a nice summer gose episode because it’s water sports a lot of the time, which would be nice in hot weather. although the uk total wipeout was filmed in argentina i think we could find a way to film it in s. korea instead :heart:

we’ve finally reached the end !! i hope you had just as much fun reading this as i had writing it. i enjoyed it so much that half of my sections had to be cut down to match the length of the others :sob: especially that catchphrase section, i spent ten years describing my fear of the show. this spent so long drafted and forgotten about that im actually quite happy to get it out. i reckon if i looked at it any longer i’d cry my eyes out. in the end everything turned out okay though! anyways i hope you enjoyed my messy writing and picsart edits and i hope you have a lovely day/night. bye for now ♡

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