again

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again

and

again

and

again

anniversary dates happen, again

and again that’s the thing about

anniversaries. they’re special,

and they’re constant. they won’t

randomly change on you. same

date, same time, different year.

21 Sept. 2O2O - 21 Sept. 2O22

an     ongoing     adventure . . .

hello and welcome back to the

galaxy, i’m your host theo.

today, i’m back with another

anniversary post. let’s get into it.

i’ve been on leadership for two

years now. weird to think about

honestly. i was on journalists

for six months before being

promoted to head journalist,

then i was there for about nine

months as journalist curator,

before becoming journalist

leader four months later. it feels

so fast paced when i think

about it sometimes.

sometimes i wonder if it was too

fast, and sometimes i wonder if

i even actually deserved all this.

it’s something i’ve struggled with

since i was just a journalist. i felt

frustrated and unsure, and at

times i still do.

i’ve struggled a lot with being

proud of myself and how far i’ve

come, how much i’ve learned. i

love my position, and what i’ve

been able to do on the team, but

what if i’ve only made things

worse? or i haven’t done enough.

these are thoughts that have

danced through my head since

day one. worries i’ve had that

have demotivated me again and

again. and the thought of leaving

has crossed my times more than

i want to it.

but still i’m proud of myself. two

years on leadership is crazy to

think about. i’m proud of my

team, and who i’ve been able

to become.

it hit me recently how much

i’ve changed. i guess in some

ways i’m still the same. i’m still

weird and chaotic. i’m still

impulsive at times. i love

messing with my friends and

making posts and sharing my

ideas. but i’ve changed so

much, i’ve been through so

much.

i realize how much i’ve matured

recently especially. how much

i’ve grown. it’s crazy because

two years ago i was still a child.

and now? well.. i’m still a child.

but i’ve learned to handle

situations better, and i’ve come

out of my shell.

i’ve learned more about myself

too. what ideas are important to

me, where i stand on different

topics. but i believe and what

i’m looking for in life. i’ve learned

to accept myself, even if i don’t

know who i am. and i’ve learned

it’s okay to not know who i am or

what i want, because at the end

of the day i’m just me.

losing people hurts, that’s

something that will never

change. there’s names i’ll never

forget, people who have come

and gone, who’ve left an

impact on my life, regardless

if they know it.

the first names that comes to

mind are kuma and oblivion,

who i’ve known for so long, who

had been on the team for so

long, who eventually had to step

away. but i’ll always .

or grace and peter, who is part

of the reason why i’m here today.

the reason why my team is

where it’s at now.

or azumi and kerri, who led

beside me for months. who ever

really got the recognition they

truly deserved. they were like

siblings to me, and i’ll always be

proud of how far they went.

claire, pine, and juan, who were

like three peas in a pod.

annoying and chaotic, but

some of the most notable and

ionate i ever had

the privilege of leading.

cowfu, mateo, aaron, care, alex,

sara, koru, bladen, linnyx, isaki,

bella, prince, colton, eli, poof,

and so many others who’ve

come and gone during my time

leading and being on the team.

people who i learned to love

and care about, who taught me

leaving is often necessary to

grow, regardless of which end

you’re on.

more importantly though,

leading taught me to love. to

cherish everything and

everyone that crossed my

path. it taught me someone

leaving, doesn’t have to mean

losing them. but a new journey,

a new challenge.

my love, it’s almost been a year

since you left journalist

leadership, you know. yet still,

i make these posts. maybe for

myself, but i’ve always made

them more for you in the past.

i can’t bring it to myself to

change that.

this team is what brought us

together. what gave us this

opportunity. and i’m so thankful

for it. and i’m proud of you, you

know. for having the courage to

leave, even if it meant losing

friends or whatever else. i’m

proud of you for being strong,

for being in control of your life.

i’m proud of how far you’ve

gotten, how much you’ve grown.

i’m proud of you for all your

achievements. for all you’ve done.

and i’m proud of us, for how far

we’ve come, how much we’ve

grown together. despite the

difficulties. despite the distance.

i’m proud. and i couldn’t be more

happier then i am now.

people come and go. i think at

some point i’ve learned to accept

that. or maybe i haven’t, i still

don’t really know.

one person who’s still on this

journey with me, is jenny. who’s

been here since the start. who’s

always listened to me when i

needed it. who’s reassured me

time and time again. who’s always

given me a chance.

i think sometimes i forgot how

much jenny’s actually impacted

my life. how much she’s really done

and been there for me. and then i

and it’s hits me like a

comet. in the two years i’ve worked

alongside her with journalists, she’s

always been there to help me learn

and understand.

she’s always pushed me to be a

better person, to make my own

decisions, and to do what’s right

for me. and i’ll always be grateful

for that.

so thank you jenny,

for never giving up on me.

i don’t know what the future

will bring, and honestly, that

scares me. i realize, how i could

lose everything in a moment,

how quickly things can change.

and i don’t know if i’m ready

for that.

making these posts has made

me realize how much the times

have really changed. how much

i’ve changed and how i’ve grown,

and how i still am changing and

growing. and i guess i’ll keep

changing and growing. life

always goes on.

i don’t know what i hope for the

future. i don’t know if i’m ready

for the future. but for now, i’ll

celebrate today. those.. well

they can be problems for the

future.

thank you to everyone who’s

been a part of my journey so far.

to those i’ve lead with and

those i’ve lead over. to those

who taught me something. to

those who gave me reason.

thank you to those of the past,

to those of the present, and to

those of my future.

and thank you, to myself. who

i haven’t given enough credit

to. you’ve come far, you

deserve so much. keep going,

king ♡

happy two year anniversary

on journalist leadership

love, me

thank you all for tuning in, i

hope you all enjoyed.

unfortunately, that’s all i

have for you today. i hope

you all have a good day/night

and i’ll see you all again soon.

this has been theodore, now,

tuning out.