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trigger warning?

i can’t breathe
i keep waiting for that part of me
waiting for the world to see
but i can’t breathe
i cant say im drowning
but i can feel the world surrounding
flooding into the very roots i’ve laid
and i find myself losing
i won’t say im drowning
because the fear of the thought
would only make it worse
yet i can feel it all crowding
i keep waiting for that hand
waiting for someone to reach out
but whenever it does i find myself
find i am unable to grasp it
i search so desperately for help
waiting for it to find me
yet when it presents myself
i shy away anyways
i find i cant breathe
each moment awake i find myself breaking
aching shaking devastatingly waiting
searching in silence for a hand to hold
begging someone to grab hold
praying to a god i dont know
please just don’t let go
but i can’t breathe
i can feel each realization ing
a fleeting thought but now it’s caught
and i’ve clung to it sorely
wishing it didn’t affect me so poorly
but it’s here now and i cant breathe
and each time i catch one
hook line and sinker
im left like a fish out of water
and i cant breathe
why can’t i breathe
i can feel the air moving
i can feel the brush of air
a breath so small
it’s hardly even there
when did the air become so stale
when did i find it so hard to care
when did i start losing my touch
when my thoughts became erratic
when everything else became static
when did i forget how to breathe
and i know it’s not a panic
yet the chest feels tight
but my brain is light
like a distant plight
breathing
in and out
i can see the movement in my chest
i can feel the air filling me
oxygen in co out
a shallow inhale deeper exhale
losing more than i gain
questioning if ill go insane
oxygen needed
the cardiovascular system
pumps blood through the lungs
blood carries oxygen in
blood carries carbon dioxide out
in and out in a matter of moments
fleeting moments that come and go
go where does it go
look at that i learned
maybe these classes aren’t useless after all
heart racing blood pumping
faster and faster
it all happens
all at once
in and out
up and down
trees coming down
buildings going up
walls so many walls
blocking it all out
keep it all in
in and out
like a breath of fresh air
but i can’t breathe
when did this feeling become my every waking being?


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