just your every day vent

Hey guys.

Welcome to my TED talk about my life rn

This is a vent because I can't vent to anyone else. Life is so rough rn and I need this. Obviously you don't have to read it but the thought that someone did makes me feel a lil better.

:warning: :warning: TW: cussing, ab*s3 :warning: :warning:

Hi. As some of you may know, I am currently and indefinitely homeless. These past few nights I've been lucky enough to be able to stay in an Airbnb. However, this is my last night here. I can't sleep because I keep thinking about how warm it is in my car when I wake up and how sweaty I am. I keep thinking about how I could wake up so sick from heat exhaustion because I am in Florida, and Floridas summers are apparently harsh.

I'm scared for my life because of Desantis (the governor here) making these stupid laws. Did you know girls can't talk ab their periods if they're under a certain age? If they get their periods they aren't allowed to talk about it. What the fuck kinda bullshit is that?

For those that don't know, I am from Virginia. My home to here is a 14-15 hour drive with no breaks. I drove this with my beloved cat, Tobey, who is now missing. I drove down here to escape my ex boyfriend, who is still somehow sending me money to help me.

Kris is a whole situation in itself. He's.. emotionally exhausting, he was physically abusive sometimes, and he was lazy, childish, and stupid. We were about to be on the streets as it was, but now I am and he's not. Me, the one who worked his ass off to pay for everything we needed. Me, who cared for everyone like they were the only people that mattered to me. Me, who's already been hating life for so long.

Look, I get it. I am homeless, but I still have it better than others. I have my car. I have a phone. I have friends who are willing to help every now and then.

And then there's my current partner. I love them, but it's really tough to be in a relationship in my current mental state. I got a job, I have my car. I'm doing good. Or trying to. It's so rough. I can't shower a lot, I have to buy food every day because I can't keep leftovers. This is hard. I'm not saying I have it as hard as others, but this is traumatizing in its own way.

I am deteriorating faster than I thought I would. I need help. I'm not smart enough to ask for it as much as I should, though. I'm going back to my psychologist to get my meds. I said I'd never get back on those. That is how bad this is. I can't keep going like this. My meds are needed. I need them...

I'm so sorry. I might be breaking a little too far this time.

Despite all of that, you should know that I will always be here for everyone in this community. If you need someone to talk to, dm me. It helps me to help you.

Ps: this is my current partners doggo