Bakugo Angst Commission

This work was requested by Ayolen.

Prompt; Depressed or insane Bakugo

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I'm Fine, Just Help Me Dammit

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There were voices all around him, each one of them familiar, some of them equally annoying. But none of them really understood what was really going on. They all tried to, but nobody could really get close enough to understanding the full scale of things. Well, maybe that damned nerd, Deku, but that was it. There were some things that even he might have trouble wrapping his head around.

“Hello? Earth to Kacchan.” That same head of green hair and accursed worried eyes were staring at him again, and the blonde in question looked away, huffing loudly.

“Get outta my face, stupid Deku,” he growled. Crimson orbs focused on the world outside. It was a grey and rainy day, which was arguably one of his favorites. The only thing that could possibly make it better was a raging storm or hurricane. Some kind of natural disaster, maybe, where he could get lost in the chaos. Fat chance of that happening, though.

Aside from Midoriya, there was also the Bakusquad that cared deeply about him. He truly appreciated and cared for them just as much, though he never let them know about it aloud. It was the little actions that he made or didn’t make towards the group that they noticed the most. Like cooking for them, planning little events and such that would keep morale up, and so on. But there was only so much that he could do now. Especially since things had started taking a turn for the worst.

“Hey man, don’t be such a chump just ‘cause the weather’s not that great. It’s not like Mr Aizawa’s gonna cancel training for the day.” It was Pikachu this time, and he was right beside his desk now, sitting on the corner of it.

Kirishima was going to in next to try and cheer him up. “Yeah, Bakubro. We can train together again just the two of us if you want. Going up against you is always fun.”

That’s it.

“Fun? That’s what you call it? We’re training to fight against villains that are looking to kill us or use us as damn puppets. Not playing hero on the playground, Shitty Hair.” Silence followed the sudden backlash, though it didn’t last too long, as everyone just assumed it was Bakugo being Bakugo.

For the most part, they’d be correct. As of late, though, he’d been feeling more and more like this was really just a glorified high school that told its students they were training them to become heroes as a twisted sort of motivation. That they were actually being allowed to use their quirks so it would wear off the novelty or the itch to use it once they’d graduated. So that they’d be conditioned to the real world and know that it was only the real heroes that got to use their quirks to defend them while they were forced to sit on the sidelines and watch it all unfold. In other words, a living nightmare.

“I think it would be best if Kacchan and I trained together today, Kirishima,” Midoriya said, interrupting the angry blonde’s train of thought.

Turning back to his rival and with a glare ready that could freeze the damn nerd up solid like a deer caught in headlights, Bakugo stopped, seeing that he was being met with the same level of confidence.

So you really think you know what’s going on here, don’t you, Deku? Fucking pisses me off.

Lunch couldn’t have come any sooner, and as per usual, the Bakusquad was already halfway out the door by the time that glorious bell rang. Bakugo was leading the group, of course, unbothered by their chatter and just focusing on getting to the cafeteria as quickly as possible without rushing too much. The staff already knew what they were in for today, as they were serving up one of the dishes that he’d come to love. Namely because of the spice, but also because the chefs knew exactly what they were doing. Today was one of the few days he could actually sit down and properly enjoy his lunch, rather than just pick at it. Even still, though, he wasn’t going to eat too much. He’d take bites here and there to appease his friends, but the rest he would take with him to ‘save for later’.

Once he reached his destination, he spotted the plate that was set off to one side on top of the glass barricade, and it had a little pop-up explosion decal beside it. The clearest indication that the plate in question was intended for Bakugo. It was served on a warmed plate piping hot. Because the first and only time they’d served it to him cold, he’d gone behind the counter and looked the chefs dead in the eyes as he slid it off the plate into the trash. They’d learned their lesson and now served it like this every time.

As Bakugo was sitting down to actually eat, he was ed by the remainder of the squad, and surprisingly Deku as well. Normally he’d be sitting off with Pink Cheeks and Four Eyes, and of course he’d usually be opposed to anyone other than his posse ing him at the cafeteria table, let alone anywhere. Although, considering how things were already going for the day, it was better to have Deku around, just in case it turned into one of those days.

Lunch seemed to by in a blur, and for once Bakugo actually ended up eating everything on his plate. Afterwards, he went right off to the changing rooms, informing the others that he would wait here for them. When asked why, he snapped back with the usual “Mind your own damn business!”

It felt like it took longer than usual to get to the changing rooms where everyone in the hero course stored their costumes. Probably because he was doubting himself with every single step that he took. Oh well. Whatever helped to deal with this wave of… oh, what was it again? Depression, was it? More than likely, as much as he didn’t like having to it it. When he got to the room, he sneered once again at the fact that he couldn’t lock the door behind himself, but if he was quick enough, he could get this done before anyone else decided to show up.

The blonde got no more than a few steps down the line of lockers before the door opened again, and he whipped around to find Midoriya closing the door and walking over to him with that damned concerned look he always had. But there was something else hidden there too. Fucking pity.

“Stop giving me those stupid fucking eyes, dammit!” he yelled, going down to his locker and hastily opening it. He managed to sneak away the item in his right pocket before his childhood friend was right up in his grill, grabbing his wrist and looking him in the eyes with a very serious expression. “The hell do you want, nerd?”

“Kacchan, show me.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” He’d barely finished speaking before Midoriya was hiking up his sleeve and frowning at what he found. All along his left forearm there were scars left by a knife that was dragged with purpose. Bakugo winced and looked away, closing his eyes.

“Kacchan, how many more since last week...?” When he got no response, the grip on his friend’s wrist tightened significantly. “How many?”

It took some effort for him to muster the courage to it it, but he finally managed an answer. “Only three. Now piss off and let me change before anyone else shows up.” Thankfully, the greenette understood and released the arm he was holding. Bakugo hurriedly changed into his hero costume, making it in time to have some of the fine tuning adjustments done before someone else entered. It was Kaminari, and he looked a bit concerned, but it quickly faded as Kirishima followed in behind him. The two went off to chat about their own business, and Bakugo visibly relaxed.

Midoriya stepped behind the shelter of his friend’s locker and pulled him into a hug. The angry blonde resisted at first, but stopped after a few moments and just rested his head on the shorter male’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Kacchan. I’m here to help you get through this.”

“And what if I can’t?”

“You will. I’ll be damned if I let you give up on becoming the number one hero like this.” A light smack upside the head from Midoriya followed this, and he parted from the hug, going over to his own locker and starting to change.

Everyone was assembled in a relatively short amount of time, though Bakugo hung back, along with the squad and Deku. The group left after about a minute, leaving the two childhood friends alone once again. This time, it was Bakugo who initiated the close , pulling Midoriya in and holding him tightly. He knew about the depression, but now there was something else there as well.

“Izuku... I don’t feel right.” When he was met with confusion, he followed up with a little more clarification. “I think I might be going insane. Nothing feels right anymore... like I’m drowning and I can’t tell which fucking way is up.”

Midoriya hugged him and patted his back softly. “It’s okay, Kacchan. Just say the word and I’ll help you as best I can. Okay? You’re still my best friend, and I’ll do everything that I can to help you out. Alright?”

He nodded slowly, resting his head on his friend’s and trembled a few times before he let go. As he was heading out to the rest of the Bakusquad, he looked back at Midoriya and smiled. While there were no spoken words between them at that moment, they rang clearly in the back of the greenette’s mind.

Thank you.

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Cover Art by @cm_shoto

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#writingmatters