Being For Glory Trash, a Short Novel.

Yo amino its me Jose and I'll show y'all how to to be literal FG trash.

Yep!! You read that correctly!! FG Trash!!!

You pronounce my name as "trash" anywayssss sooo

The format of this blog may be a lil weird. Its written as novel sorta , with you yourself being the person to fight this FG Falcon! Enjoy!

[Disclaimer: i own nothing. ]

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Prologue: The Disgusting Falcon

Or, Why be FG Trash?

Lets say its a dark stormy night. You set the mood with some nice, aromatic candles. You turn on your wii u.

You go on FG, expecting a good time. But you encounter a Falcon who's a crouch spammer...

For most of the match its clearly in your favor, and you are ablut to deal the final blow in an edgeguard attempt, but you die because they ended up footstooling you by accident...

They do it. They taunt, but specifically they up taint. They crouch spammed some more and then spam perfect pivots....

You win the match, but the fact that this Falcon crouch spammed and taunted for no real reason annoys you to no end...

At the character select screen you notice that he's already queued up for the next match. His tag is now:

You tell yourself "its fine." You get ready for the next match.

You then retaliate with some tactics of your own...

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Chapter 1: Repentance Via Time Out.

In this first match against the awful FG player, you decide you'll go for a time out. Fortunately for you, you've read this blog some time ago.

You cackle as the thunder roars outside. You cant wait to see the outcome of this match.

You cant decide wether to take their first stock quickly,

or to draw it out. If you take their first stock quickly, your remaining option would be to just play super defensively.

However, you decide that this Captain Falcon must repent for his actions. You decide to play ively this entire game.

For about the first two minutes of the game, all you do is walk around and use yout jabs or tilts. Its satisfying seeing the anger in their movement, as their approaches get sloppier and sloppier over time.

Once at about 157%, the Falcon decides to just opt to stand in a corner. They refuse to move and just crouch spam some more. You're sitting pretty with only 20% on you.

The clock in the top right reads 1 minute, 27 seconds left. The grin youre now showing doesn't resemble the abundance of pleaseure you feel inside.

You decide you'll quickly run up to the falcon. Their first instinct is to shield. You grab them quickly and go for a grab kill confirm. Once the stock have been eradicated, you crouch spam as well.

Now only 56 seconds left. You run away for the remainder of the game. This Falcon has failed yo touch you for more than 10 percent. However they refuse to go out like this. When the countdown hits 7 seconds left, they SD in shame.

When you come back to the character select screen, giddy with joy, you find that your friend has already started the next game, with a new tag:

At first, you're very confused...But a new thought appeared in your head!

"Oh I'll show you spam..." You mutter to yourself while you counterpick to your pocket Toon Link.

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Chapter 2: Arrows and Bombs and Boomerangs oh my!

The game starts. They immediately start to rush at you.

What a fool. You throw a boomerang. You then grabbed and then used a forward throw.

They try to airdodge to the ground and so you use another boomerang. They dash back in, looking for a grab but to no avail. You boomerang them again. They try to jump over the boomerang but they didn't think you'd mix up and angle it.

At this point you've successfully racked up 60% of damage with only side b. They decide to retaliate with their own side b.... You must bring out the heavy artillery.

With your bombs you can snuff out any Side B spam.

The Falcom quickly reaches 130% in no time. They refuse to give up so easily... They are reckless and you laugh loudly at each failed attempt made to touch you.

They have resorted to random smash attacks in hopes thay it will work... Now is the time you shatter their spirit...

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Chapter 3: Unconventional Methods

You decide the perfect way to take their two stocks. You have approximately 3 and a half minutes left. "Perfect."

You get the falcon to high enough percent. You MUST kill him with an attack that normally isn't a kill move...but what?

Maybe a throw that doesn't kill until past 170? Sonce you're tink at the moment, you know up throw will do the job just right.

The poor Falcon has been conditioned to raise sheild whenever you're close by.

You proceed to grab them and pummel for what seems like ages. You up throw and even managed to get a star KO kill at 189 percent...

This next stock you decide to go all out. You're completely bodying him now. Hes back at kill percent with just a minute to spare. You've decided that you wont kill him unless it's with an uptilt.

The Crouching Falcon never learns... he's rolling across the stage now as of he isnt at 252%... You decide to fake him out. You perfect pivot and he rolls, thinking you're going to stay in shield. He eats an uptilt to the face, and yoi can see him hit the screen as he loses his final stock.

You feel very accomplished. You return to the character select screen and note that it is completely empty.

"Good," you thought as you hit up one of your friends to play some actual wifi matches. The rain outside, stops.

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The End.

Thought id experiment something new~

Hopefully y'all know how to be actual scum now lol. I also hope everything was clear. Also pls dont hate me >~<

AND PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS UNLESS YOU WANT TO LOSE THOSE FRIENDS. KTHX.

As always, send your novels, books, and magazines down below!

Jose~