I tried so many things to as a male but sometimes people still do misgender me. I have short curly hair, soft face features like a baby face and I’m really skinny and small.
I also wear only male clothing and styles so I don’t know what else I can do to change my appearance I do voice acting so I don’t have to really worry about my voice.
I still feel as if I’m missing something in order to
Comments (12)
Something easy you could do that may help you out is to watch your behaviors out in public. Study men is what I’m saying. Notice how they sit, how they tend to walk. Sometimes I notice that if I display a lack of confidence with myself, I can become more meek at my job which can give off a feminine vibe (and for me as the skinniest guy at my work, it’s the worst feeling) which if you already don’t very well can make people misgender you more or at the very least question a bit.
I’d also recommend getting into strength building. I’m a skinny guy too but usually skinny men and skinny women look different. I sort of got lucky with my build (I’ve got very broad shoulders) but either way it definitely helps to build your upper body a bit. It’ll give you a sharper jaw as well which may help if you say you have a baby face.
Also I’m unsure what sort of clothes you wear but definitely avoid oversized clothes. It’s a common mistake a lot of trans guys make. If oversized clothes is your thing that’s great but if you want to , I’d avoid it. It’s also a common mistake amongst trans men that short hair = ing as male. Some short hair cuts work really well. Others make it harder to . It all depends on your face shape and how you style it. Having bangs helps a lot I think.
Reply to: Familysizebagofchips
That is honestly very amazing. I don’t know anyone with autism and that’s trans so I’m happy that I have someone to actually relate with. I’ve been thinking about getting a job this summer. I’ve been very nervous about getting a job cause I don’t want anyone to know that I’m trans or me panicking with anything social
Reply to: Why
Thank you!
I get that. I usually don’t tell anyone I’m trans unless we’re friends and of course anyone who I date. Yeah you should honestly go for it. Don’t let being trans get in the way of finding a job or going to college or something like that. It’ll just give you something to do. The work field is way different than school. I’m not sure if you’re in high school or not but people at work aren’t going to care either way. And if they do, they better not say it otherwise they run the risk of getting fired.
Yeah I struggled a LOT getting my first job. Once you get your first job though, it gets way easier. I was filling out so many applications looking for my first job once I graduated high school but you’ll find one. If you’re not very social (and trust me I’m not either) than maybe you could do warehouse work which is what I do. It’s not for everyone but there’s no customers to interact with and you don’t really speak much to your coworkers either unless you have to or want to.
Reply to: Familysizebagofchips
OH MY GOODNESS I WAS LOOKING AT WAREHOUSE JOBS! not sure how you read my mind but you did. I’m still in highschool and yeah that’s a bit annoying cause I’m the oldest in my grade but it is what it is
I'm in a similar position, I'm 5'4, I have short curly hair, I'm really skinny, and I've got a baby face. In the past I barely ed at all, now I more often than not, well I as a young boy when I'm already 19 but what can ya do.
It'll take you some time to figure out what works, you need to find that pair of clothes that fits you just right and makes ing a piece of cake if you haven't already, other than that a haircut can make it or break it, find the one that fits you best. But arguably above all are your mannerisms and confidence, you've got to sell it for people to guess correctly, it makes all the difference when someone's not sure.
It's great that you already have the voice part figured out, it took me a few years of total cringe just to get to the point where I'm confident in my voice about 70% of the time, you have a headstart.
Best of luck and feel free to ask if you'd like to know anything else :)
Reply to: Why
Jesus, wrote a whole fucking essay, didn't I? Sorry about that, it's 3AM right now and I'm just mumbling, hope you find something useful from what I've said.
Reply to: Alex
Honestly I definitely agree. I think we are a lot similar than you quite think. Now that I think about it I also think it’s my mannerisms as well. I’m very quiet and shy person that try’s to avoid people as best as possible. I was tested by doctor with my mannerisms and such and he was surprised that I acted more of a male. I have autism so I’m naturally very awkward.
When I was 4/5 I thought that I was a boy until my aunt pushed me to be more feminine and “ladylike” I felt so uncomfortable but just rolled with it cause I was a kid. When I was 7 however I figured out that I wanted to be a male but if I can’t blend in well enough or have my ideal image then I guess I had to stick to living as a girl till my next life comes. It’s strange that I new that I was trans at a very young age but never knew anything about the lgbtq or transgender community. I was always stuck trying to be an ideal image for others. I would dress like a boy a lot when I was younger and it made me feel more confident, even did that in my early teens and made me so happy. What made me officially come out was a friend that was trans and he asked if I could come with him to the males bathroom. I was dressed masculine enough that day so I thought why not. We go in there however and while I awkwardly wash my hands to give myself something to do people notice that my friend wasn’t a cis male cause of his hair and teased him behind his back. That’s one of the fears I have and one of the fears I have for others. That’s why when I came out I told everyone but my one trans friend that I was a cis male because unfortunately people view transgender as sub human, so lying and saying that you’re cis male works I guess. But how I really get away with it is by saying that I was forced to be a women when I was younger which was true and that I’m trying to “detransition “ back to a male, which not true but it’s a good coverup and it hides most things
Reply to: Why
Oh we're definitely similar, almost to the point where it's scary. I deal with almost the same things. I don't think I have autism but I definitely have something. I'm also quite shy and get extremely nervous when it comes to interacting with strangers, or when I'm put in situations that stress me out. It's kinda hard to act confident when you're shaking and sweating, and can barely make eye .
I also relate to the part about childhood, I always thought I was a boy growing up, I was sure I'd grow up to be like my brother and friends, and told my mother I won't be needing bras and pads because I'd never have to deal with that, imagine my shock when puberty hit :')
When it comes to clothes I was fairly lucky, I have an older brother and my sister wears masculine clothing too, so I got their hand-me-downs, but I still had to wear dresses and skirts when going to church, and I had long hair.
I found out about the LGBT community when I was around 13, realized I'm part of it when I was 14. That's when I started to intentionally dress more feminine, because I rejected the idea that I'm trans, but even my most feminine presentation was somewhat masculine unless I really tried.
It's great that you've got an irl friend that's trans, it's nice when you have someone close to talk to, especially when they can truly understand. I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your friend, unfortunately that's a fairly common thing, a big reason for why I avoid public bathrooms at all costs, one time I held it in for 8 hours just to get to pee at home, wouldn't recommend. Glad to hear the whole "I'm a cis dude but was forced to be a girl when I was younger" thing works for you, it's really hard to pull off. I'll have to wait till I start T and change my gender legally to be able to get away with that.