Ok, so, as many of you might know or might not know, I graduated high school this year AND I GOT THE RESULT I HOPED AND WORKED FOR!!!
And the result of the finals really matters here in my country because depending on this result, you get to choose your college stream and majors. If you get a perfect GPA, only then you can study subjects belonging to the science stream. I have always had a fascination with psychology, have always wanted to help people, have always wanted to be like my parents who're both doctors. So, yes, my target since childhood has been med school. This exam was never easy for me. I've struggled with anxiety and depression, dark thoughts. The system here is that you study for the finals of your high school life for 2 years. And in the first one, I had failed in the mid-term exams. That too, in a subject which I HAD to if I wanted to study at college at all. I was so stressed, so scared... And just so not ok! Not a day went by back then when I'd not have dark thoughts. It was a horrible time in life. 16 was NOT sweet. But I geared up nonetheless. Working as hard as I can until I fell into sickness and spent over a month in bed. But because I had worked hard after the mid , I actually did pretty well in the finals. Then came the final year. The first 6 months went well, my teacher and I worked really hard to make sure I'd score well. Then, in September, I received a shock bomb. My father was diagnosed with lymphoma. My whole world fell apart. I didn't even get to allow myself to cry because if I did, it'd break my parents. I couldn't let that happen. We changed 3 maids over the course of 6 months as dad was unable to do the housework and I couldn't balance between studies and chores and mom being in the military, had to stay away from home for her job. Each maid created a scene one way or another. The urge from my dad or mom to study was gone as they'd spend about half of the month in the hospital every month and after coming back home, dad had to stay in quarantine since chemo made your immunity system weak. I was really on my own and I had to take the charge of the house while continuing my studies. In the end, it has all paid off and for that, I'm thankful to Allah.
So, yeah, life may be looking grim now but please, just hang in there! One day, the sun will shine!
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