❥ Happy Birthday to me <3

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what will all be in this post?

★ re- introducing myself

★happy birthday to me

★little thanks messages to a few

★ ending.

★?

!! this post has mentions of mental disorders!!

you can skip the part by not reading the section put between

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so uh- let me introduce myself again yeah?

greetings-! my name is Chen. it's the short form from Sternchen. It's a nickname I got from someone important and I honestly love the name. that's why I like to stay with it online.

In real-life I decided to go by Ryu. that's not my real name but the one I feel comfortable with. therefore I introduce myself with it when I meet new friends or doing activities where I don't need to add my legal name.

I'm an adult-! :3 [ honestly I feel so old eee- ]

my native language isn't english. can you guess which one it is :0?

I'm planning on study game art / design in the future >:3

I love baking , drawing, writing silly little stories, reading and sleeping xd I also watch a lot of yt or movies and shows on streaming platforms.

I'm a big anime fan and my favourite games are Arknighs / duskwood / cotl / osu / and a few others

I'm a big Sherlock Holmes fan xd

I love my ocs. I like to draw them or imagine little stories

↓

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since October last year I tried to get help as nothing really worked and I acknowledged hat I can't continue like this.

January I got a spot in a clinic which I stayed for over three months.

April I finally got diagnosed with depression, borderline and ptsd. which makes me happy. not because I have it, but because now I know why I struggled so much. what to work on and I'm able to get the I need and want.

no one can say "I'm just pretending or lazy" which was really putting me down the past years.

with that being said. If you struggle and feel like you need help. go get it. talk to someone you trust. your problems ARE important. sure, maybe someone has it worse but that doesn't make your problems less valid. your problems are real and if they affect your life it's absolutely not fun. help can come in many forms. <3

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looking back I can say I was and am a really lucky person.

because sure in the moments where I was at my lowest I didn't see it but looking back, I always had someone there for me. may it be online , in rl, friends , classmates teachers , social workers , ....

and the fact that I had is something that I should appreciate more. so I'm thanking all of you. Thanks for being there for me. Thanks for staying with me and especially thanks for accepting me <3

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and happy birthday to me :3

being here another year makes me really happy xd also that this community still exists :0

I decided to take this chance to thank a few people I met here and became pretty important to me <3

there are quite a lot of people so if I don't mention one it doesn't mean they aren't important-! xd in fact there are so many who helped me or just we're there that I could write an entire week just to list them all.

This community and the people in it helped me so much in the past years. Thanks so much.

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total person count : 18

[ probably should add that I mean everything platonic xd ]

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★rafi

I should thank you so much as you're the reason I even got the chance to meet every one of them here.

I ing for the whole reason to create commissions. getting really bored of it I was planning to leave the community. but I commented on your blog and you replied and somehow we just instantly matched xD

I writing for days with you about all types of things. we did a lot of art challenges and collaborations together. you drew my persona so adorable and I just love you so so much for everything <3

somehow your the reason I have so many great memories. from here , when you invited me to cotl and I ed your little family. when we played genshin and you helped me around or just chatted.

you always created really interesting characters and watching you improve was such a sweet thing. honestly I would say you draw better than me xD

Im glad we are still in . that I can still write to you<3 I honestly appreciate you so much and love you.

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★Tk

honestly I don't even know where to begin :_D

You were one of the only mods I felt comfortable with for a long time. in fact I only wanted to be an assistant under you or rainbow Toast because the others intimidated me a lot.

you helped me so much with everything. when I was an assistant you answered questions I had or listened to criticism , I had and especially in my mod times I needed that a lot. it was comforting to know that I could always go to you and you would accept it and try to help me. you never judged me or got offended which I thank you for.

Oh-! it also counts for private things. I ranting to you now and then or just needing someone to talk. and honestly? you were always there which is not something to take as granted. it means a lot to me and I hope you enjoyed the time we did talk as much as I did <3

I that you wanted to leave quiet a long time ago. I wrote you a message and I still stand with the things I wrote. you were and are still someone I look up to with the change that I know we are all flawed and make mistakes. you are as much a person as I am and I don't need to just look up. I can stand beside you and get to know you more-! see you as a whole. not just the sweet and understanding mod with the unique and pretty art style. but as you.

seeing your last stepping down post it actually hurt a bit. reading everything and knowing you tried your best in many ways and be someone worthy of the role which ended up not being yourself was sad. please know that we all do mistakes and it's normal. if you want to improve its already a step in the right direction. we can't "fix" things we did in the past. we can only learn from them and do better in the future. and I believe you are being too harsh on yourself. you're still good, an amazing friend, still love worthy and unique in your own way even with all the flaws. there are people out there who will accept you will all of them.

the guidelines isn't the only thing you contributed. in fact it's just one of many more. which I'm really thankful for. honestly xd I don't think things would be like now without you. you did so much that you should be proud of.

I know mods get hate for already doing their job. I know that It can hurt and affect one and I know that most of the time it's absolutely bullshit xd so please PLEASE don't listen to it and take it to Heart. there is a big BIG difference between constructive criticism and hate. [ that also goes for all the other mods >:c ]

I hope the time you have now without all the pressure helps you a bit in finding yourself again and who you actually are. I know you have some really sweet people on your side and hope that you can enjoy the things you liked to do.

I love drawing your persona or Tk because I know it makes you happy and making you happy is something I really wanna do. because you absolutely deserve it. you're an amazing and caring person with a lovely personality. thank you so much for trusting me enough to talk about yourself sometimes and I hope I was able to help you when you needed it.

please know that If you ever need someone to talk to I'm there :3

you're one of my favourite persons on here <3

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Tamo

you already left the community when I came back xd and sadly out of my own stupidity I clicked on a link in discord and lost all my s. [ honestly don't do that. :_D most of the time is a bot even when it comes from a friend's .]

mine went like "hey I can't be friends with you anymore and will block you because you did this and that in that community with a link to the community xd [ a community I wasn't even in ] so ofc I wanted to see what it was about and also proof that I didn't do anything. aaaannd clicked on it. and guess what? suddenly all my friends are blocked and my sends the same message to all of them TT. [ I spend a lot of time trying to delete all of the messages and end block them. some I just didn't find]

tho the times we spend together were really sweet. <3 thank you so much for also listening to me and doing collabs together. You always had such a cutie chibish style which I just adored so much. I still have a few adoptions I got from you and also the drawings in which you drew my persona and honestly? they are still one of my favourites.

I thought it was funny that I originally pm you for an art trade xd and was the one who needed to explain what it was. and somehow we just ended up chatting after that. you are cute and always ive of me and my drawings and you definitely was the one who led the most in the little mix event we did :0

and just to show what I mean with their art style and how absolutely adorable it is.

it's their persona and mine :_3

I choose to link this and not the newest as something must have happened in the time I was gone. I wish I could have been here and be there for you. I wish you the absolute best and I hope you are having an amazing time <3

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marshella

I absolutely loved to be an assistant together with you. seeing you interact in the chat was really fun and I'm glad so many people saw how cool you are. finding out that you could taste words was so interesting :0 as I prior never heard of it.

you told me mine tastes like metal and sugar to which in my mind I was like " YEAHH SUGAR " xD Also finding out which word tastes the best for you and how open you talked about it was really fascinating for me. I loved to ask questions and you would honestly answer them. so thank you <3

sadly we never finished out collaboration xD honestly I can't if we even started on it or just forgot it. but doesn't really matter >:3 it was fun either way and I hope you do amazingly.

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Pam

Omg xD you're the whole reason every time something is frog themed I need to think of you.

you're really kind and I love all the silly pam stickers you have. also the ones with you and the others mods pff- glad you decided to keep them as little pictures and not give up on them after the amino decision. :_D it's always really sweet to see them

you also went through a lot of rl stuff while being in this community and I'm really really proud of you. I'm glad it worked out <3 you're really strong.

I hope we can talk some more and working together with you will be a lot of fun-!

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Logic

we didn't talked a lot yet but I definitely plan to change that-! >:3 you're like a biiig bright sun. the way you write lights my mood up a lot. you're so fun and exciting to be around and I'm honestly really glad I was able to meet you.

I already told you that I felt intimidated when I first saw you. which is really really silly now xD you're like one of the least intimidating mods I ever met. you're fun and seeing your titles definitely deserves all the love <3 [ If you wouldn't already have 20 I would add one myself ]

I love it when you call me sweetpea or things like that as I always adored getting pet names xd and you are such a sweet person to be around. nawwww makes me wanna hug you <3 I'm thinking about deciding one for you :3 do let me know if I should.

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localsimp

I have known you for quite a long time now and I'm really really happy you are back-! :3

I honestly loved your little au and that you always kept me up to date with it. it helped me make sure to not miss anything.

you're definitely the only person on amino I know who makes so many audios xD I'm not complaining tho as I really like your voice and it's a change for once. we also vc before where I was really really nervous about. you're really sweet and also pretty :3 We used to talk more back before you left and I'm sure now that you're back we will as well >:3

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unknown

WE ARE THE OG TK GANG

and honestly if you ever open usd commisions I would buy one xd seeing my oc being drawn in your style would make me so so happy.

you helped me when I was unsure about something and I could rant to you or ask for your opinion without needing to worry xD.

but something that was really important to be was that when I got demoted YOU was one of the people asking if I'm okay. and honestly that meant so much to me. it showed me that you care and I love you for that <3

being an assistant with you was fun. same goes for the smoll mod time. I hope you stick around a little longer because I really like talking with you :3 tho wishing you all the best and luck.

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Arrow

I loved it when you were in vc. I enjoy seeing you interact with others and hearing your voice :_3 because it's always really nice

[ honestly why do y'all have so pretty voices >:c I could listen for hours ]

Im glad we could finally match <3 in a way it meant a lot to me. It makes me happy when we talk and thank you for being there.

I think you're doing an amazing work as a mod and a leader. I can understand why you became one so fast. I hope you know that I'm really proud of you c':

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Mismatching-Point

You're the one who checks up on me the most xD and I appreciate it so much-!

I'm sorry I haven't chatted a lot recently. but I definitely try to improve that >:3 can't wait to see your reaction when I finally finish the drawing ehe-

I hope you stay how you are and again thank you so much <3

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Nyx

I was your first assistant >:3 [ haha- newbies ]

honestly you are so sweet. I absolutely adore your character and I don't know why but whenever I draw them they always look cute xd I don't think I could ever draw them seriously.

you're not only an amazing artist but also a gorgeous writer. If you ever take writing commisions I would love to see you write something :0

I'm sure working together with you in the mod team will be a lot of fun-!

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ProtectorOfTogethertale

ooOooO I loved so much about you.

from your unique and absolutely cute art style to your small Au. drawing that one comic for you was so much fun-!

you made a really cute adoption for me which I should honestly draw more xd. sadly I'm not the best with goats. [ still going to try-! ]

hope everything is going well for you.

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Natx

I LOVE YOU <3

me , you and windy was such a fun group xd I loved the collab we did for windys birthday and honestly loves your personality.

I absolutely adored your entry for Bow and it's actually one of my favourite characters to draw from all of them-! :0

Your comments were so ive and sweet I could hug you all day for it-! I'm glad I still have your insta xd.

I wanna do things with you and windy again xd maybe a drawing or finding a fun game we could play sometimes >:3.

I'm happy I still have your insta <3

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shadow

:C

you came back when I was gone and was gone when I came back. xd that was bad timing.

besides that you were my best friend <3 we talked so much and when streamed music together xd which worked so horrible because of Amino quality :sparkles: :sparkles: but back then I didn't mind because it meant we did something together.

I loved everything we did together and If I could turn back in time I would throw my insta or discord at you so we would have continued to talk >:c

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neko

you hyped up my little oc character so muchh it motivated me a lot-! honestly our two drawn together would have been pretty interesting :0 I had loved to see them interact with each other.

I think your writing style is pretty fun and dynamic. it's definitely motivating to read and I really hope you continue writing <3

I hope you come back soon xd and your break doesn't end up being an entire year pff-

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windy

WINDYYYY

You're one of the sweetest most adorable and amazing people on here >:_3

I absolutely adored the small Au collab you and Natx made [ xd although it never got continued what I honestly understand. ]

you're such a helpful person who loves to others. I always loved to see your comments on my things xd you have such a cute art style and If I could I would just roll you up with a blanket like a cat and feed you hot chocolate >:3

You were definitely one of the reasons I enjoyed this community so much <3

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Dri

your character is so interesting :0 I loved it when they had that mask. it's why I definitely wanted you on that little project. I also love your birdie xd

wish I could have helped you in math but ke and math don't match:_D

I'm really glad we could talk more in the discord server xd because gosh that was fun there. sadly I'm not the most active one but ing the team was one of the best decisions I made.

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I gave up trying to write the name :3

YOU ADOPTED ME SO IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT I PUT YOU HERE

nah but seriously xd I enjoy spending time with you and being a little silly. although I have so many siblings because you kept adopting :_D

still the devil's don't fly title fits xd

also also :C I still want to do a drawing collab. no talking out of it.

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Vika

we became friends because you was friends with my friend xD

I was really really happy being able to call you my friend a few years back xd I loved the meme drawings you did and that we were basically the only ones keeping the ask blog alive pff-

I really loved your vibe as well and how you wrote. your adorable sweet cat and all the amazing drawings you did. we talked quite a lot and I really hope you're doing well <3

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Alright that's all-! xd this already took a long while. and while I definitely have more to say I don't really have much more time if I wanna post it on my birthday.

thank you for reading and I'm wishing you an amazing and fantastic day / night.

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psss- pss

a little secret between you and me. in the near future something will be posted called "The journey of an small monster which got lost in the wrong Au"

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