what's it like walking? // orange

I did a short scribble awhile back and I was wanting to write something a little longer and with a different vibe. I tried to really make this piece conversational and freeform, instead of a factual statement.

Instead of a detached narrative that doesn't really go into emotions as much, I decided to go full ham.

It's a new day today, and I'm ready for nap time.

...

Well, in actuality that's a lie. I wish I could be one of those people that just complain about waking up early and can fall asleep whenever they want, but that's just not me. My style? Wake up, can't go back to sleep so I doze for two hours, and then I get up so everyone can call me lazy. Believe me, a just right way to start the day. Bonus points - if it's a school day, I'm speeding through out the door within ten minutes of standing up. Cardio never had a chance with my workout schedule.

Anyways, I've rambled off again. I do that a lot, so you might want to get used to that part. Maybe it's my ADHD, maybe it's Maybelline.

I walk at a pretty decent pace to the bus stop for two reasons: one, I overcompensate for the fact that I used to be late all the time, two I listen to thrash metal while walking - who walks slow to thrash metal? Dave Mustaine didn't get kicked out of Metallica to have a slowpoke moseying along to Megadeth.

Oh, yeah, there is a third reason - I kinda forgot about it because I'm used to it, but I walk through the trailer park. Usually I'm against the whole stigma of trailer park people, but I can't defend that street. Like today, there's some weird brown powder on the ground. I don't question anything or stop, I just walk straight through because I don't know if that's dirt or a heroin deposit. The people there always have some drug paraphernalia in sight, like one has a bleach bottle at all times in front of his window. Who just casually does that? Not anyone sober, for sure.

Some people aren't even high here, they're just not OK upstairs you know? Right before I hit the train tracks, there's this guy that swings his golf club around and hits golf balls to the side of his house. Now this COULD be a normal occurrence except it is 7:31 AM and I'm not ready to dodge incoming flying balls outside of gym class. I'm just not.

It does make me feel bad though - there are some really nice people that live here, but they get ignored because of all the nuts. There's another man that lives on the other side of the tracks who shovels up all the snow in the winter, which is no easy feat. Really, I sometimes feel like I'm about to break my neck with the snow in other places, but at least my to-school commute isn't an absolute hell thanks to him. I don't even know his name, I just know him as the "cool guy who shovels winter snow out of kindness."

It's more common to hear about the bad than the good here, though. I think I read awhile back that our crime rates are 1 in 36 chances, so it kind of makes sense, but that doesn't mean we're all a bunch of crime lords (which is how the town over treats us.) And that's no exaggeration.

I going to school, after a man reportedly got hit by a train as a suicide attempt. Now if it had been in the city there would be a bench made for the man that ed, or a plaque, or at the VERY least a schoolwide moment of silence if it was someone we didn't know. But for us? Not a word. Not one. The only person that says anything about it was someone that lives a few blocks from me.

After school at the local pizza parlor though? Everyone is all over the story about how one of my friends got almost shot trying to receive a basketball years ago. I guess maybe that man's life just didn't affect them like I think it should. I think about him a lot. I don't know his name either, though. But at least my friend is OK, even if that guy isn't.

Despite that conversation, we always have a good time up there though. Walking home is almost sad, and it definitely would be if I took the same route. But I don't, on the way home I like to through the center of town.

I'll never understand why we have such an abundance of churches and bars with absolutely no concept of a grocery store. When God said "man cannot live on bread alone," I don't think that's exactly what he meant. The only food I can go out and buy is at the edge of town in a gas station next to the apartment complex. I don't have anything against apartment owners either, but I'd wager to say about half of all the murders and drug busts are up there and I'd rather not risk getting shot buying an Arizona tea if I can.

Walking back once trying to get said tea, I ran across someone high off their mind wandering the streets. I haven't really gone up near the apartment complex since, at least not alone. She still lives around here, and I'm glad I live with multiple people so I'm not alone wondering if people like that are going to knock on my door. Or if they do, I'm at least partially prepared. For right now, I'm just going to try and enjoy my cold drink the best I can. Hey, it's a real long time till I get out anywhere else, you know?