流れ星 | EmblemĐ~!

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Erasing the present moment and moving onward

Shutting down the past away from view

The possibilities that were cut off in the past

Carved away and discarded, never to happen again

Countless times

I've suffered this deep sorrow

But even so...

In order to keep my heart from stopping

I'll overcome it now, together with you

Heading for the future we desire

I'll all of you

And show you I can make it there

Bringing closure to the wish

I've been entrusted with

I'll protect everything

This time around

Grasping one last chance

Realize!

From my continuous struggles

Lie layers of invisibles scars

The voice of my soul is on the verge

Of being burned away

Repeating "It hurts!" as it refuses to let go

Over and over...

Taking my stand...

And conquering fear...

I am unyielding to the despair of this moment...

My shaking hands

The trace of warm tears

As they realize their purpose to protect

I'm sure someone will say!

That the answer I've found is a mistake

But it was my heart that made this choice!

Unrelenting on my progress forward

I'll protect everything

This time around

See what lies beyond my fate

Taking my stand...

And conquering fear...

I am unyielding to the despair of this moment...

In the future I desire...

I stand by your side

The warm sunlight shines in

Just as the snow will melt away

And flowers will finally bloom

I will take for certain our love

Won't ever fade away

Time to!

Head for the future we desire

I'll all of you!

And show you I can make it there!

Bringing closure to the wish

I've been entrusted with

I'll protect everything

This time around!

Grasping one last chance

Realize!

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[ :purple_heart: |ndc://-me]

"Oh Stranger"

"Did you find what you were looking for?

Oh stranger, did you face the world

That's waiting outside your door

And, if you refuse to play

You'll never win

There's no going back to start again

There's only one life to live

Are you making the most of it?"

"Are you making yourself proud

Be truthful now, oh stranger

Could you say you've done enough

If your time was up?"

"If there's one thing that I know

The world will carry on

Without you

When your time is up

Will you like what you've become?"

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┈     ┈     ┈     ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟     ┈     ┈     ┈

╔═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╗

To, Everyone -

- For You

╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝

┈     ┈     ┈     ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟     ┈     ┈     ┈

I'm just an old ass on this app, I go by a few names, You can call me EmblemD or Emblem like the majority does, if ya feeling special you can call me D or Destiny as it's my second name, I gain recognition for being a 3Ds bayo main, who used to be among the best 3Ds players in discord, I'm known for being just too ironic, people either say I'm the coolest guy or an asshole, it's up to you to know me.

As of Ultimate, I main Ike, Lucario, Wolf, Byleth and Shulk.

My bio is divided in many sections which will currently be:

~Bio Update Section~

~Randoms about me~

~My private chat~

~Background space~

~Status and lyrics~

~My story as a furry~

~Stuff people have made for me~

~Destiny - A Poem To 2018~

~Link to my old ~

~One Star~

Venture down at your own risk fella.

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Bio Update Section

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Figured this would come in really handy if people constantly read my bio more than once, I'll put the last time I updated the bio here and the segments that were changed and improved.

Last Update:

April 24th, 2020

Patch Notes:

~Updated songs to the bio extender~

~Added things to the "random facts about me" section and the "things people have done for me" section~

~Finally updated my status again~

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☆Randoms About Me☆

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Figured it was about time I make my bio something about me so here is some weird shit.

●My right leg shakes at really high speed when I'm nervous.

●I have constant nightmares.

●When I'm talking to someone one on one I walk in circles around him/her.

●I want to have hair like Soleil's.

●I can asleep anytime, anywhere, standing up or sitting in place.

●I constantly fix my hair and play with it.

●Many people that know me irl tell me I look like L from Death Note.

●I love music with darker topics like suicide, depression or similar feelings of them, or faster songs, so the genre of it doesn't matter as long as I like the rhythm and topic.

●I love spinning in circles and do it a lot, no matter if alone or in public.

●I spend most time bored but can be entertained really easily with things as simple as a button or a small piece of paper.

●My favorite color is Purple, when I have the chance I'll get lens to have purple eyes.

●Second favorite color is black, it's also my favorite color to wear in clothing, it goes with me a lot.

●I'd dye my hair white if I could, I love white hair.

●I speak when I'm alone, specially when playing, I usually do it on English even though I'm Spanish, I have a lot of fun just commentating.

●I think I have a really serious side that knows a lot on giving life advice or cheering up people, I often do a lot of thinking when I'm alone in my own world, when it comes to argumentation and morals I think I'm probably one of the people with the most knowledge on them.

●I love legos and building materials for children.

●I love puzzles and reading books but I don't do that as often now.

●I aspire to be the best I can in everything I do.

●The song atop of my bio usually represents how I'm feeling currently or the verses that I am thinking off, feel free to ask what the song means, I would be able to give you paragraphs of conversations.

●If I had a past life, I was definitely an animal, either that or I'm very talented with them for no reason, ever since I was a kid, animals from the street and other houses would approach me or not be scarred of me, I have tons of pictures of random homeless cats and dogs spending time with me and lettting me pet them.

●My fursona is a wolf, but there's reason for that, I talk to the moon, yeah the shiny thing you'll see in the night sky, I call it my friend and it's been there for me when I needed it the most, I have even asked it what to do when in doubt or I can ask it to take the pain away if I'm sad, stressed or depressed.

●I'm a person that truly fucking loves music, I can express myself or most events of my life in different songs, regardless of dozens of songs that matter to me, my favorite song will probably forever be From The Inside - Hollow Point Heroes, this song carried me the fuck out of 2018 and all the pain it brought me.

"You must find a way

To break down this door

Then you'll find yourself

In a brighter world!"

●If you happen to what Big Time Rush was, they're one of my favorite bands ever, and I can proudly call myself a Rusher for life.

●I have a really fucking good memory, if you ever told something to me years ago, don't doubt for a second I'll it

●Ever since I have Amino+, this has been on my little cloud of thoughts in my profile since midway through 2018, it symbolizes one of my favorite verses that go

"So don't you run and hide

Inside yourself you will find

The will, the way

To see through all this rain"

I kept it there to remind myself, that, no matter how much pain is to come, how much stress and suffering I go through, I can't run and hide, and I need to find the will, the way, to see through all the rain

And I did

It remains there as a part of me, to never forget, and to see through the rain that I know is to come

●As of 2020, the song that probably takes the spot for my favorite, is Peace Sign, it never fails to make me feel at peace regardless of anything that happens or goes on

"Even if I'm destined for a cruel fate

Even if that'll appear to me someday

If for just a moment, this moment

I can breathe

Then I can think it's no problem

To have such a heart"

●Ever since I'm a kid, whenever I speak a sentence or word, I tend to mumble it involuntarily again in a very very low voice.

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My Private Chat

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I have a private chat called "The HHH" or Helpy Help Hotline, DM me if you wanna be invited to be amongst the true autistic nature of the internet

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Background space

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Current Status

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April 24th, 2020

5:36 AM EST

Did I go higher?

Did I open my eyes?

Did I go the distance?

No, I never did.

I'm so stupid man.

I've had constant "wake up calls"

My past status reflect them so well.

So many times where I went "this time I'm truly working harder from now on"

Yet all of that speech, all of that motivation, it was wasted, empty words, empty promises, to others and specifically to myself.

It was always "for later"

Next tournament I'd enter for sure.

"Tomorrow I'll actually draw"

"Tomorrow I'll practice the guitar"

"It's just another day out of the many I'll get"

I ended up doing nothing.

I never did anything.

I tried to put excuses, tried to make it seem like I was "putting effort" like I was "doing something"

Because I was too scared to it that I'm worthless. That I never do anything.

Even while I gave others advice to not waste their time, I knew those words weren't something I heard myself, they were the words I wish I could tell myself, the words I wished someone gave me long ago before all this wasted time...

I have dreams so big yet I worked the least.

It's frustrating, I hate it, I hate myself.

So what's next?

Here's to an attempt that isn't just a lie, a promise that isn't just empty, I cried so many nights, so much, because of being a failure, because of all the wasted time.

I was searching, searching for the courage that it would take.

I'll take it back, take back the confidence I used to have in myself, the steem I held myself in just for being myself, believing in myself, the talent I was born with and the dreams I chased.

I'm not gonna write a promise here, I'm not gonna say "Let's fucking go" this time.

All I'm gonna say is:

Just watch me

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╔═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

My story as a furry

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

I decided to keep this here after April 12, I really liked how the story turned out and I wouldn't regret letting everyone see it forever.

This time stamp of the year is now special to me, as April 12 approaches, a very remarkable day comes for me.

This is gonna be a serious story, a story of jealously and pride, of pain and confusion.

Why will I place it here?

Simply because I felt the need to, in this place I met the people that helped me through it, thanks to this place I am who I am today, in this time of the year.

Many of you know me as a furry, in fact it may be the first thing you'll notice when meeting me, however it has not been that way forever, before april of 2017, absolutely no one knew I was a furry

Where do I even start?

From November 2016 to april 2017, I was truly struggling emotionally with a certain topic; furries.

It's gonna be hard to believe, but, I hated furries, I hated them with every last bit of strength I had.

The reason for that was because I was mentally split in two:

"Me" The Emblem you know today

"My pride" Oh man, god damn.

To properly explain what my pride was and what it caused, I should explain how my popularity on amino and discord was going at those times

Pride, My demise.

So at those times, I was finally getting to be a big name on amino and a decent name in discord, leader of a discord crew, member of the KKK and had really good and original blogs on amino, a lot of people were getting to know me, and I had never got as much attention ever in person, maybe that's why those mattered so much to me.

And of course, in all the people I met, there were a few furries

(And I hated them from the moment I met them)

The reason why I hated them was because of my pride, I had always liked furries, but my pride used to think of me like a huge deal, everyone I met had said furries are weird, furries are oversexual, furries are mentally ill people.

And I could never allow someone to think of me like that

I felt like "I was EmblemD" someone so many people looked up to, someone who had defeated many persons and lead a very capable group, and I kept improving, I felt like I was perfect at some point and I couldn't let anyone discover I even liked furries, that would stain the "perfect" image of me.

This level of thinking so high of myself that I should not be allowed to even like furries reached a point where I changed my 3Ds name to "Perfection" to constantly remind myself when I played, that I could not have "flaws" such as being a furry.

Shoutouts to an old friend of mine called ZeN, he took this picture of my name those times a year ago.

"Perfection was my biggest flaw"

So what did my pride do to protect that perfect image?

Hate and discriminate the living hell out of any furry I met.

I truly envied them

My pride told me:

They were furries, they were inferior.

Yet they were making friends, they were playing smash, they were talking just like any other person.

Despise what my pride said to me, I knew, I knew I was just jealous

I was just jealous, truly jealous.

As perfect as I was, I felt sick just by being near a furry, it caused me a lot of pain.

I was purely jealous of people that were just being themselves

How while being so perfect, I could get outshined by someone who was just honest?

No matter how perfect I was, I could never reach that.

The ways I picked on furries were fucking bad, in both senses of the word

I used to call furries out in public chats, call them trash at smash and then beat them just to make them feel bad, saying furries suck, even on my crew, I used to abuse being leader against furry , I used to target a few ones specifically, those that even considered me a friend and didn't take the power abuse personal, kicking them from the server, deleting their messages, muting them from voice chat, muting them from the chat, were things that happened daily.

This picture shows a serious callout I did in public chats, I even asked some friends to show it to any furry they met.

One time, my "relevant" friends of the KKK

(How my pride saw them)

Started to fuck around with me calling me a furry, adding a tag to my name that says "Furs"

That tag, you see me use today

But regardless of the tag, I was so triggered by those jokes, that I decided that I'd so something big against furries to prove I hated those and I'd never be one

That same day, I ed a gay furry amino, gathered links to many s that had borderline/actual porn in their profiles, and instead of reporting to the leaders of the amino, I filled a form to team amino and got the entire community shut down.

Damn son.

How I felt in the months of pride

The answer is absolute shit

I envied furries, I treated them like trash, like enemies

But in reality I just wanted to be with them

I wanted to be able to hang around them, to tell them we could be friends, that we even had something in common, I was just making an enemy of the people that I really wished to be with.

I should explain how my pride hurted me physically, it feels like a hole in my heart, like an ice being slammed and burning my chest.

It will sound too dramatic, but I spent many days, weeks even, that I'd just get home and start crying alone in my bed

I just couldn't handle it, my emotions were completely split, I feared truly, feared that people would find out and crash my "perfect image"

And feared even more

Scared that I'd live my entire life in fear, that I'd become an old man, look back at my life and say "That's a damn shame, I could have made so many friends, been so much happier, if only I let my pride down for a second"

And I could not pick between the two, for months, my routine was just getting home, eating, crying and sleeping to wake up next morning.

The times of change

I bet you're wondering, "If you couldn't pick, what changed"

Nothing in me truly.

But I met a person

A really cool one

As you can expect, it was a furry.

But different from other furries.

That person could joke about furries being cringy, stupid, and at the same time talk seriously about them when needed

In a way it showed me

Damn

You can be a furry and still be chill, still play in good ways and joke like a normal person

The person deleted his so probably doesn't wants to be ed here, but damn, thank you, truly, I probably would still live in fear if it wasn't for you.

Once I met that person, I still lived in fear for a good while, I was in the middle of my daily routine of crying when I got a very important song recommended to me, I will place the link here but you don't need to listen to it because I'll cover the lyrics that directly spoke to me and how they changed me.

Welcome to the family (Nightcore)

The nightcore is the one that got recommend to me by youtube that day.

Welcome to the family

For those that'd rather get the original song.

"Hey kid! Do I have your attention? I know the way you've been living, Life so reckless, Tragedy endless, Welcome to the family"

Well, yes

This part of the song did indeed give me the message it was aimed for me, so I decided to stop crying an pay more attention to the song.

"Hey! There's something missing, only time will alter your vision, never in question, lethal injection, Welcome to the family

Not long ago you'd find the answers were so crystal clear, within a day you find yourself living in constant fear"

From one day to another, everyday I felt like a part of me was missing, rather unhappy, If I gave reason to my pride one day, I'd feel scared and unhappy being a liar, if I gave reason to telling the truth to someone, my pride would hurt me, but in the long run, with each day that ed, I gave more reason to telling the truth and lowering my pride, and eventually I found the answer to be as simple as

"Be yourself, live your life"

"Can you look at yourself now? Can you look at yourself?! You can't win this fight!"

Either way, I was unhappy with whatever decision I could take, one side of me was always unhappy, I just couldn't find peace.

"And in a way it seems there's no one to call, when our thoughts are so numb and our feelings unsure, We all have emptiness inside, we all have answers to find, But you can't win this fight"

If I have to describe one of the most difficult things with my pride, it was being alone in it

Simply trusting one person

Simply getting the small opinion "You should be yourself" from a stranger, it would have made the complete difference, but there was no one to call.

"Hey kid! I have to question, what's with the violent aggression? Details blurry, lost them too early"

For me, this expressed how furries would feel around me, I was just instantly aggressive from nature, even before we met, many asked me why I was like that, but I could never give a concrete answer.

"Hey! Why won't you listen? Can't help the people you're missing, it's been done, a casualty rerun, Welcome to the family"

Everytime I pushed away a furry it was just another missed chance, another person gone that I could have used as a call for help, and everytime it just felt like

"It's been done, guess another idiot less to bother me"

"I try and help you with the things that can't be justified, I need to warn you that there is no way to rationalize"

"Help with the things that can't be justified"

That was exactly what I needed, but even with help, how do you even start? I can't rationalize a way for both sides of me to be happy, and even if I did, I will never be able to justify the damage I caused to some people.

But I did find that help, on the person that I mentioned earlier, that person invited me to a chat on April 12, that place changed me a lot, thank you guys, all of you.

There's more to the song than this, but the rest of it will make sense later

April 12

I'm writing this as of March 29 instead of april 12 for a reason, The day I decided to lower my pride, it was a day like this one, me and my friends always go in a little vacation at this time of the year, we're having a meal in the middle of green, open fields.

April 12 was like that, I found myself in the middle of nowhere, just green open fields with nothing at my surroundings

And I didn't spend the day with my friends

I spent the day thinking, my friends were playing while I wandered off, worried and fighting myself.

I spent hours walking alone, until I could finally listen to reason

And I first said to myself

"I'm EmblemD, I'm a furry"

Damn

Just saying that hurt something deeply in me, it was like my chest was ripped in two pieces, I started to feel dizzy and empty

Lucky for me, we were already done for the day, packed my things and ed out in the car.

The rest of the song gets to mean something now

"I see you're a king who's been dethroned, Cast out in a world you've never known, Stand down, place your weapons by your side"

I felt like I fell

From the top to the bottom, from EmblemD to a furfag, I did not even knew what to do, who to trust with it, who do I even talk to? But at least now if someone approached me, I would not be aggressive, maybe I could call for help at last.

"It's our war, In the end we'll surely lose, but that's alright, So have you figured it out now? So have you figured out!?"

What was I thinking? I cannot possibly win from being a furry, right?

But it was the path I decided to take, I was free to proceed at last, In the end, "nothing good can be the outcome of becoming a furry" but, that's alright, it's just being me

I figured it out.

The first person I told, was the one that helped me, and invited me to a furry chat he owned, that same night, I was having my favorite meal.

I could not eat at all

I felt so nervous, so empty, so cold, someone knew, what had I done? I felt like scum and could barely eat, thanks to that moment, now everytime I eat my favorite meal, I the night of April 12, and my pride still hurts, it makes me feel a little empty everytime.

But I would never regret that, It was worth it at the end.

Screenshot of the message when I ed the chat, dated april 12

Talking with furries politely for the first time, boy did I feel like I was in hell, I hid all of my pain and pride between jokes and trying to laugh it off, just joking on the chat every minute but in reality I felt absolutely ashamed, like I was absolutely exposed, it was like that everyday for around 2 weeks after ing.

Now I hang around there daily and I met some really good friends.

The aftermath, being a furry.

One of the biggest complications about accepting to be a furry, was accepting I'd get criticised, many people knew me at the time, and many will judge me too.

And I put up with it, for a while I took all the insults and judgement and suck it up.

One of the most pleasant and difficult things, was to tell my current friends of my change, gladly none of my friends cared about it, every person I talked to, it felt like a weight lifted from my shoulders and a piece of my heart filled.

"Uh yeah, you came and told me you were a furry and I said "So why does that matter" and suddenly you were so happy"

-Cegamanx

After that, I placed a furry pfp, which is the same one you see today, a year after the events, this was my first furry pfp and the mark of when I started to truly change

But I couldn't put with all for long.

"Invictus"

Eventually putting up with all the criticism became hard, some people that I believed true friends started to laugh at me, make fun of me, one time even a leader of smash amino made fun of me and I just couldn't handle everything.

I ended up returning to being shameful and sometimes randomly breaking down in my room.

Until another song that would change how I saw everything, this time the song was ed in the middle of my breakdown.

Invictus.

Invictus (Nightcore)

The nightcore was the one that got ed while I was breaking down, you can check the date, May 2017

Invictus

For those that'd rather get the original song

"This is who I am, lost in a world, out of control, you don't know where I've been, cause I've come back from nowhere, lost in a world estranged"

It spoke for how people judged me, they judged without knowing what I went through, all the struggles and people I had hurt, One day, I came back from nowhere, an open field of grass, only to feel lost in my own house, in myself.

"So rest your easy mind, cause I'm not high enough tonight, Cause I've gone a hundred miles, lived a thousand lives"

"Jaded hearts only beat to fool, you know it just ain't right, judged a million times, point the finger like the fool

The fool"

I immediately felt like I didn't need to care anymore, people who judged me might as well sleep easy, but I had seen so many places with furries, met so much people that changed how I see things, so many reasons to change and be proud.

If I wanted I could stop being a furry, make fun of them again and people would eventually forget it

But my heart would only beat to fool again

I had been judged a lot, and I had pointed the finger at other furries to feel better with myself, to disguise.

I could not let that happen again.

"So this is my life, this is all I know, At least it's who I am, I can only reap from the thread I've sown, Like a statue I will stand"

As much as people judge me, as much as my pride kept hurting me, I knew It would get better, It could only get better until the point I enjoy being myself without my pride or people in the way, I could rest easy knowing it was me, it was truly who I was, I needed to be proud, but of being myself

Like a statue I will stand.

"Another hundred miles, Another thousand lives, Jaded hearts only beat to fool, You know it just ain't right, judged a million times, point the finger like the fool,

The fool on you"

And as I kept standing, as I kept being myself, I met the friends I had longed for all the time, people were accepting me more, I kept getting judged, but I started thinking

"It just ain't right, maybe they're just wrong in judging, what they say isn't even true"

So I walked more and more, and each step lowered my pride.

"The fool is on you, This is who I am!"

And it just stopped affecting me

In the present, I still get insulted, judged, when I'm in stream playing or when I'm winning tournaments there is always someone "Fucking furry" "Beat that motherfucking furry" "Don't let furries win"

But the fool is on them

This is who I am.

The present

As of today, it's been almost a year since the events, but I will never be able to forget them.

Most importantly

My pride is still with me

It still hurts a bit when I have to tell people that I'm a furry

It still tells me I'm doing the wrong thing, how could I have changed for worse

How furries are terrible and ill

And that's part of why I needed to write this here, today

Because I want to absolutely get rid of my pride

It has taken me a year so far, and it may even take all my life.

But today

Today!

Today I can say something I couldn't back then!

I'm EmblemD

I'm a furry

And I stand proud!

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

That marks the end of it, I didn't make this to get attention, but I'd appreciate if you could let me know if you read the entire thing, it would help me out a bit dealing with my pride, knowing that I'm not alone against it.

Thank you, truly.

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~Destiny - A Poem To 2018~

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Destiny

Tonight

I could think of a million things to say

A thousand ways to start

Yet the only true way

Is from the bottom of my heart

A hundred verses that I can think

And here I am

It feels like I made it here in a blink

So what is this? You ask

This is a story

Of this certain year

One that I thought I wouldn't complete

For I am not sorry to have lived

No, not today

Today I won't run away

I feel my heart beating

For the word "pain" has no meaning

I started this year with someone

And for the sake of the following verses

I shall refer to such person as "you"

Convinced the love of my life was here

I faced all of my fears and shock

Being alone everyday

Yet that was taken away

I felt alive, for I had a meaning

And that meaning was you

I every single night

Every single talk

When we gave who we are an explanation

Even when we were on a separate nation

I remained at your side

Even in the darkest night

For they hide a path that leads to light

Or so I believed

Life decided it was my time to fall

The day you left me is like a scar

For someone else I loved, was now too far

And you said you didn't love me?

I questioned myself day and night

"Why must I suffer like this?!"

The void, I still struggle to fill

For that night, I attempted to end life with a pill

You had always come to me

When you were in agony

My life went down from there

For I was now truly lost and alone

Crying everyday

Losing what I treasured the most

Hard to believe

You were so deceiving

Left for dead

I was barely breathing

Blinded by all the hate inside

All these memories

God it was tragedy

If only you could see

All that you took from me

But I wasn't lost for too long

It wasn't even two months

For an angel shined on my path

One that I could feel, one that I could touch

I also found love in my ion

Playing like I mean it

Surprising everyone with my action

Life was truly great

You were no longer a threat

I felt the night begin to fade away

To yesterday

I truly wanted to stay in those moments

But no love lasted me forever

My angel flew away

And heaven knows I needed her to stay

What was I without her?

Alone again

Would I be back in the pain?

No, I could not allow myself to

Even if the sky was breaking me

I wished that she was by my side

The world kept falling under me

I begged that she could see

Even so, I had to let her go

I should have seen it from the start

Love is only tend to fall apart

Crawling as we try to breathe

We are not meant to be

So I stopped waiting for her

And instead decided to kill all our memories

She really made a mess of me

I won't deny it

A ghost of my nights so sweet

She left me here to bleed

I had to mend alone the bitter feel

I fought my fears of being alone

And dried my tears

Get her out of my head

Get her out of my heart

Telling myself that I

Won't fall apart

Even so, my will was not enough

And I found myself defeated again

Thinking all that I had done had no gain

It was that day, a sacrifice was made

I kept falling to my knees

And being careless and selfish

I made a close friend stumble too

This time, It wasn't a pill on my hand

I made my friend's blood spill

Overwhelmed by his life and my fill

I promised to myself I would not fall again

I would stand tall, I named this new me

"Sacrifice" and tried to see through the rain

Making it on my own wasn't easy

Being on the path

That both of my past loves left me in

How was I supposed to win?

So, to make a change

The following verses came to my range

I had to see that something had to change

Before it's was too late

Or I'd suffer the wrath of the storm

That I create

It was not up to fate

The choice was mine to make

Inside myself I would find

The will, the way

To see through all that I called pain

Even when I was drowning in the water

Believe to myself, that I was still lucky to be alive

Hoping and praying to be best

While still being able to push through the rest

I was struggling

The world felt like an attack

That only kept on twisting

This knife on my back

So when in pain

There was a blessed verse

That allowed me to see through the rain

And it told me again and again

"You must find a way

To break down this door

Then you'll find yourself

In a brighter world"

And so I fought on and on

To get to a brighter world

And I made it through

All I had to do was stay true

I jumped and punched

Smiled and rushed

For I was finally free of the chain

The chain that was my past

At long last, I thought

And thinking it was over

I enjoyed all of October

But not all happiness lasts forever

For my past came back to me

Just like a horrible fever

And defeated once again

I thought this time, the pain would be my end

Having my mother see

Everything I think is wrong with me

I wrote what I thought

Would be my last goodbyes

Grabbed a knife, my jacket

And ran away

Decided to stand under the night

And losing all sights of light

I was ready to stab my heart

But in such dark hour

I was not left to die

Not by the friends I found

During the journey

That was written in these lines

So it was time to fight once more

And I was forced to move along

A day where I lost myself completely

Could have been a night when my life ended

But all I had to do was keep strong

And move along when all hope is gone

And everything is wrong

Because my friends knew I could

Just like I do

Just to make it through

However, that night, I found a light

One that shines bright

After I moved along

They were still many things wrong

If you recall long ago in the verses

I said someone else I loved

Was now too far

But my feelings marked me like a scar

That person never knew of my afars

Questioning myself

How could it be

That I was drowning

In the memories in me

So I asked the moon at night

And it's words reached my heart

To speak my mind before my grave

Because my life is mine to save

And on the night of November 25th

Under the light of the moon

My feelings were confessed

A curse and a blessing

That at the end I wouldn't have been rejected

But it was now too late

That's what I called my fate

I attempted to find a way out

Tried to love yet another person

Only to be hurted again in a different way

But this taught me something

Love is not searching for someone

For nobody can take your pain away

Love is searching for yourself

For only you can make a change

When we love

We can see ourselves in others

Seeing our problems, our likings

Our doubts and solvings

That way you can complete yourself

And the other person does it too

And once we are complete

We can see a meaning to life

Yet, I stand alone...

Even with the pain of those memories

The truth was slowly revealing

And my wounds were sealing

I found the truth of pain in memories

It was only a sign that I was living

One day, I will be forgotten to the world

So will my memories, the pain in my past

But while those last

I lived and I mattered

So under the Christmas fireworks

I searched for the missing piece

That waited in the dark like a quiet melody

So I listened hard

I could hear the sound

Rising from the ground

And waiting for me to change

From a spark to a flame

Watch them ignite

And with that, I felt

"Tonight, I am lighting up the black sky"

And that way I made it here

To the night of January 27, 2019

Tonight, the memories still hurt

Mistakes may haunt me

But I know they mean I lived

And I can see them right

This is the story of how I made it to this night

After my ride that was 2018

The story of my deity a lifetime ago

Some person I once loved

And the path they put me on

During 2018, I fought with all I had

I made my obsession to break away

From all the pain and sorrow

Of a confession on my darkest day

That I repented on my tomorrow

"I years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did... I did..."

Tonight, I am facing a new year

This is a message, from me

Telling myself to not fear

While it feels just like a nightmare I had

I have the feeling it wasn't so bad

I loved, I suffered

I lived, I enjoyed

I learned, I am stronger

But most importantly;

I survived

Tonight, I am EmblemD, I am alive

And this poem I named "Destiny"

Are my memories

My memories and pain

My love and laughter

The suffering and learning

Of 2018

I must not forget this year

For now I don't fear

I am stronger now

And now I can truly say

I love this life, the people I have met on it

And here's to a future

A future in a truly brighter world

I can't help but be scarred of what's to come

But I know I will make it through somehow

Like I have proved to myself and others

Over and over

One day maybe I will find the one to truly love

And when that day is here

I know all of the pain, all of the memories and learning

I will then see the meaning behind all the rain

These are my words of hope, from me to you Emblem

~EmblemĐestiny

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

╔════ ✿ ❀ ღღ ✿ ❀  ════╗

Stuff People Have Made For Me

╚════ ❀ ✿ ღღ ❀ ✿  ════╝

I'm surprisingly loved

Thanks everyone

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

Lulu is unironically doing my fursona

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

Nebby is drawing me an Absol

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Santi did this version of my Soleil pfp

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

Vanilla did this one

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

Neith colored this Bowser Jr for me

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

...

So did Brotz

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

I forgot who did this long ago sadly

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Aria did this different blue color of Soleil

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

Meep drew orca waifu for me AHHHHHH

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

Dewd drew orca waifu for me the day my gf broke up with me

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

Triggered drew this soleil in honor of my blog "No, we are not stopping"

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

Dewd finished my sona, lulu would be proud.

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

Nekosume has drawn it.

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

Drake did too!

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

──✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ──

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  ⸢                                                            ⸣

I believe I belong here

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•─────────✦❀✦────────•

╔═══°∴,*⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅*,∴°═══╗

"One Star"

╚═══°∴,*⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅*,∴°═══╝

I figured since I made this official instead of an easter egg at the end of the bio, I'd explain what this is.

"One Star" is a song that was part of my childhood, but I never gave it much thought or listened to the full version.

So during one night that I was thinking about my ex and my future, I happened to such song and found the full version to be something else in a message and lyrics, so I decided to make this a part of me.

I think of it as words of hope, from a once childhood song I never understood until I needed it.

❈───────•✦•✰•✦•──────❈

"Yurayura yureru mayoi wo fukitobase"

"Stumbling I will be pushed into the right path"

❈───────•✦•✰•✦•──────❈

"Itsuka wa ano sekai wo

Teniireru sa"

"One day this world could be mine"

❈───────•✦•✰•✦•──────❈

"Mirai wa moutomaranai"

"I can no longer stop my future"

❈───────•✦•✰•✦•──────❈

"Ashita mo kagayakudarou"

"That way, tomorrow will shine"

❈───────•✦•✰•✦•──────❈

"Donna toki mo

Yume ga areba

Nando datte

Hikaru hitotsu hoshi"

"In any moment

If you have a dream

Even so many times

One star will shine"

❈───────•✦•✰•✦•──────❈

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ

hi emblem

sowwy for ruining the aesthetic :(((

-ruru