BTS I love you

.

.

.

✦✧✧ hey ara✧✧✦

ᴘˡᵃʸⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗʳᵘᵗʰ ᵘⁿᵗᵒˡᵈ

0:03 ──⊙──────── 4:05

↻ ◁ ɪɪ ▷ ↺

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯

┊　         　┊　         　┊　         　┊

┊　     　    ┊　         　┊　             ✧･ﾟ

┊　         　┊　      　   ✧･ﾟ

┊　             ✧･ﾟ

✧･ﾟ

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

ｈｉ!

So today I thought it would be super

fun to share one of my private poams

with army today

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Ｌｏａｄｉｎｇ ｐｌａｙｅｒ ．．．

█████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

Ｌｏａｄｉｎｇ ｐｌａｙｅｒ ．．．

██████████▒▒▒

Ｌｏａｄｉｎｇ ｃｏｍｐｌｅｔｅ

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

ℓєтѕ gєт ιт

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

I have someone who has the ability

to make me happy and smile besides

my grandfather

it's actually 7 people who truly

transformed my life

besides the fact that I was so

depressed my ptsd was

becoming worse

the more I found out about my

childhood the more it would rip

me in pieces

i when i didn't know anything. I just saw what was happening and things flashed before my eyes

as I grew up I started to realize things and when moments would happen and what they meant

one that I just found out was when we first came to America. we had a small apartment and a window that separated my bed and my sisters bed. I one night I looked outside the window

I saw shoes hanging on the power lines

I thought that was so cool and one day I wanted to hang my shoes on the power lines too

not too long ago I found out that when someone hangs shoes on a power line that means a gang member is Dead

I'm scared to go back where we used to live because I've had enough voilence in my life

in fact I'm so scared that when one time one of our neighbors was fixing the top of there roof. I head loud bangs on the wood

I got so scared that I locked myself in the bathroom while hiding. I was shaking and tears rolled down my eyes

this Really my life?

my mom, how is she so strong?

how can she not be scared on what

happens in the world?

she tells me to be strong too

but I can't

not yet

last year things were so bad. I didn't know what I was doing and why I was doing it.

most of my day would in fast motion and the next thing I knew it was time to go to sleep

i told myself I was fine and that I wasn't depressed

I was scared to say I was depressed because I knew people who were in worse conditions

I was mad at myself infact so mad that I was being selfish

I lived in America

“the land of the free”

in Iraq people wished to come here

I saw my grandpa on FaceTime

he could barely hear my voice

he couldn't treat the cancer that took over his body because he was in Iraq

I was going crazy

I don't know why people the press were saying bad things about my Country

sure call the government stupid

sure call the people poor

but you do not insult the land that I was born in

my home

yeah my home is ruined

but it's still beautiful in my eyes

even if was all dirt and bombed houses

it's still my land

its still my home

I still that beautiful green grass that grew so tall on the mountains

I still our family gatherings and the fancy weddings

I still the blocks they build on the streets to stop people from going through that road

✓

January 20 2018

I finally found something that could help me cope with my stress

music

but not any type of music

music that I can't understand

I can't understand the music but the music understands me

Bulletproof boy scouts

BTS

beyond the scenes

there music truly healed some of my wounds

when I was scared at night that someone might break in I listening to love maze, paradise, and the truth untold on repeat

everyday that's how I went to sleep

I going back to the wings album

I cried so much

I related so much

I never translated the lyrics because I knew in my heart what they were trying to get across

BTS taught me hard work, to let out my sadness if I needed to, and most importantly

loving myself

I'm still working on it

but through there music they excepted me as who I am

that's what made them special

and Little did I know

my grandpa

my mother's dad

he was so special to me

because he also excepted me as who I am

🗞▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔🗞

Thanks for reading

Catch you later