𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙧 ; 박지민

dear the angel that walks on earth, happy birthday.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

#performanceteam

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

so i'm breaking my own fucking laws here. making this blog earlier than i am supposed to. but it's jimin day. in order to make this day as special as possible, i am trying to do things a little differently. including making this blog more aesthetic than usual. i have indeed taken inspiration from what i see, so if you think my format is heavily inspired by you, then let me know and we can discuss it. but now, it's time. time to step into my thoughts as i write for my number one on his birthday.

❥ 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 , 천사

so i lied. just a little. i wrote that intro on the bus, but now i'm following my rule and writing now for the next two hours straight. this needs to be perfect for you. so of course, the natural place to start would be my first encounter with you. an amazing day. i'm sure if you know me well enough, you've heard the story of my bts discovery many, many times. but it's necessary that i explain again, for the purposes of this. my girlfriend (who was then nothing more than one of my closest friends), had been getting into bts, so she showed me the video of dna. i was instantly taken, i enjoyed it very much. however, no one stood out to me in particular. so when i decided to research on the boys, that's when i discovered the member that took my heart. park jimin. at first I thought namjoon was my destiny. but it took just two days for me to fall in the complete opposite direction, from a rapper hyung to a vocalist maknae liner, to fall for park jimin and the beautiful red hair that he had in the first pictures of seeing him. from that moment on, my love has never faltered.

❥ 𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙥, 아름다움

tw / this section mentions depression and eating.

i think it would be fair to say that i went slightly crazy for jimin in the next few months. maybe even a whole year, i don't exactly know. but i fell hard, and i fell deep. i was literally just...in love. he made me so overwhelmingly happy that i often cried every single time he literally drew breath. i had been going through a stage of deep depression and pain at the time, was struggling a lot with my sexuality and was just in general not having it. but jimin was truly, honestly a light. a bright light at that. he was the reason. that's how i'd put it. i would just stare at the same picture for hours on end. now i realise that was a little weird but i was back then, i had no idea what was weird and what wasn't. i just new that i loved jimin completely endlessy. he was the reason for my tears, my smiles, my screams, my calmness. he was the reason for breathing. i worried about him lots meaninglessly, praying that he was okay, that he was safe, that he was eating well, that he was happy and smiley and enjoying himself. i still pray every night that he is.

❥ 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠, 가장 사랑하는

tw / this section mentions eating disorders, weight and body insecurities.

you may know that jimin suffered from an eating disorder years ago. anorexia. the word makes me cold and shivery. i can't face it. it makes me think of how he struggled so much and i don't want to think about it. this section i know will be the hardest to write. i am going to do it though. jimin struggled a lot, i mean a lot. he thought he wasn't good enough pretty much since debut ; he was nearly cut from the original lineup. which isn't fair, he didn't deserve that. i of course don't know but i feel like this was just the start of his insecurity that lasted way too long. especially when he began to think that his weight wasn't right so he tried to stop eating. no he didn't try, he did stop. oh my god it breaks me every time i think about it. he's the sweetest soul, he deserves the world and more. but he never got that, not for so long. i thank seokjin so much for helping him out of it, he really saved him. without that he could be anywhere right now. okay i'm going to have to move on to the next section because i'm about to cry but let me tell you how proud i am of him for getting over that and eating well now. :hearts:

❥ 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩, 소중한

jimin is the kindest most caring soul the world has ever seen, trust me on that. he loves every creature in the world, whether tiny bug or a human. he takes care of everything, he's just so wonderfully gentle. i the story where bts were on the plane (before private jets ajsjs) and he realised that the flight attendant was a fan. however, the attendant couldn't say anything because that was against the rules. so jimin wrote her a note and left it in her seat. that story melts my heart so much. and oh my, the way he cares for his is so endearing. he cares about them before anyone. my favourite story of jimin protecting the is during just one day filming or promotions (i don't exactly which), he went round checking the safety of the chairs that the had to stand on and immediately removed a dangerous broken one that he found so no one would be injured. and this was early bangtan days, back in 2O14. the weren't quite as close as they are now which just goes to show how much of a caring soul jimin is regardless of who it is. he would care for anything, no matter who or what it is. i can just imagine him taking an injured little kitten off the street and nursing it back to health :(.

❥ 𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚, 사랑

jimin's dancing. oh my lord, jimin's dancing. jimin's dancing jimin's dancing oh my god. it's the most beautiful thing in the entire world. i could watch him all day, all night, all year. he's just absolutely, purely mesmerising. he can like no other in the world. he is trained in contemporary and ballet if i am correct, the two most beautiful styles of dancing in the world, my absolute favourite. he did ballet in school, dancing was truly his entire life. he begged his teacher to help out which is so beautifully endearing 🥺 he has truly blossomed, into the most perfect dancer on the planet. his dancing makes me cry, all the time. i always always cry when i watch him dance, which is actually why i don't do it so often. i really hate crying. but sometimes i can't resist watching clips of his beautiful, artistic moves as he glides around the stage like a beautiful swan. a black swan, the most beautiful of all of course. i think the i need u mma performance was really the highlight of jimin's dancing in my opinion. it was so ethereal, so gorgeous, so stunning that i just can't help but cry every time. and the way he dances in black swan is the same. the choreography is probably the one out of bangtan's whole discography that fits him the best ; it really allows him to go back to his main contemporary roots which is incredibly beautiful to see. and the mots one black swan solo (bad video, sorry) had me bawling.

❥ 𝙛𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙙, 아가

okay so i lied just a little in the first section. my love did kind of falter at one point as my other ults began to steal my heart. jimin was still my number one, but to make room for the others, especially a certain jang wooyoung and ten, i had to push him aside just a little. but a very special person who i will talk about later bought all that love right back. rediscovering someone after losing them is just a crazy but beautiful feeling. i was letting go just a tiny bit, but i couldn't bare it and i pulled him back. i honestly don't belive my love for jimin could ever truly run out completely, he will always keep me coming back. always always. he is just that sort of person, the sort of person where it's incredibly hard to let go entirely. it just won't happen, i know it won't. it can't, because jimin is the foundations for me today. he has built me up to discover myself and find some kind of safety among this terrifying world. i will never stop thanking him for that. although my love isn't perhaps so...ionate anymore, it's certainly still there, burning strong as ever.

❥ 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩, 모두

everything about park jimin deserves to be spoken about, to be cherished, to be treasured. he is a treasure. a dear, precious treasure. my goodness, what would i do without him ? that thought hits me very often. it often comes in a quite shocking way, a realisation that a man that doesn't know me could be my everything. i really don't care what other people think about it, he truly means the moon and back to me and i'm not willing to give that up for anyone. if i ever leave jimin behind, it will be entirely influenced by me, nobody else. me. he has so many little perfections and so many little imperfections that i adore. he has sparkling eyes, a boopable nose, the most gorgeous lips and the squishiest cheeks >.< he has the most graceful way of doing everything, including falling over haha. "he is beauty, he is grace, he just fell on his face" fits quite well there. but truly, there is no other park jimin on earth. Well of course, there are other people with that name, but none like jimin. none at all. he is completely, completely unique, every single thing. i truly hope you see it too. he is an angel. perhaps no wings, but one hundred percent a beautiful angel. i will love this man as long as i live, i can promise that.

tw / death.

normally i would do an outro but i thing something more important calls today. today should have been celebrated with dear kaycee by our sides. but fleur very sadly didn't make it to the thirteenth of october twenty twenty. fleur was a jimin ult, just like me, and the love fleur had for him was unexplainable. the way fleur treasured him was beautiful. i've never celebrated jimin day with fleur before but fleur had so many plans for this day. i wish wish wish i knew what, i could make it happen just for cee. but i can't. i just have to hope fleur is celebrating wherever. that jimin performance i was taking about, the blank swan one, reminded me so much of dearest cee that i cried for almost the rest of the concert. it was just cee. and the person who helped rekindle my love for jimin ? cee. it was cee. thank you my darling for everything you have ever done for us all. this blog is not just dedicated to jimin, but to you. :yellow_heart: