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:coffee: ;;08-09 🌙;;17:03
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[✦] ¿are you ready?
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Let's go!
• j u l i a (✧;) ⚘story time〔**•**•**〕
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I look at lily. Her hair is a bit messy, but still looks perfect. She looks at me, smiling happily. I quickly look at my book again so she wouldn't notice me blush. I never felt this way. It felt so real, it was real. I knew what i felt. I looked over to her again. When i looked at her the whole world dissapeared. Her cheerful voice. Her long brown hair. Her freckles that made her eyes shine even more.
"miss jolienne, could you pay more attention?" The teacher looked at me annoyed.
"yes yes...." i said turning a bit red seing the girl giggling.
i walked to the next class. The girl walks infront of me. She looks back, sees me and smiles. Her smile was so beautiful. I couldn't help blushing slightly. It must have been really obvious. But she smiled so happy when she saw me. Or did she always smile this way? Could she think of me the same way? The only way to find out would be to ask her. But that was never going to happen. It would be the same as always. I would push my feelings deep away so i wouldn't feel it anymore. But this time it was different. It felt different. This didn't feel like a little crush. I loved her. She smiles at me again and i smiled back blushing a little. I truly loved her.
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At this point I knew that my crush wasn't reallt a secret. My friend had made it really clear to her that i was Bisexual. I still don't know if i should thank my friend, or kill her for what she did, but i gues that's what friends are for. My crush had also caught me blushing multiple times. It was really clear that i had a crush on her, and really clear that she knew. Still i didn't have the courage to tell her.
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three days later, I sat under a tree with a friend. I was just reading peacefully as usual. My friend tapped on my shoulder "isn't that lily?" She asked looking at the girl walking towards us. I looked up from my book and saw her. It was her. I didn't know what to do. "hey lily" i said suprisingly normal. I wasn't nervous. She was just so kind even the most shy person would feel confident enough to talk with her. "Hey julia, how are you today?" She asked happy like always. "I'm great" i said looking at her smiling. I knew what i was going to do. This time i wouldn't hide my emotions. I would tell her. "Good to hear" she smiled and looked at my friend "and you emma how are you?". My friend looked up "i'm good, i'm going to my girlfriend soon" she said. The girl looked at her "girlfriend?". My friend laughs a bit "oh right, wel suprise i'm bi". That was no new information for me, i already knew that. My friend was, just like me, very open about her sexuality. The girl smiles "oh that's amazing, my sister is also bi. She always tells me as a joke that i need to become bisexual too, but i'm straight and i don't think that will change" she said laughing a little. Those words hit me like a dagger. I should have expected it, but i didn't. I didn't think of the possibility that she could have been straight. So the words hurt. They hurt a lot. I looked up "oh i forgot i promised my mother something, sorry see yah later" i said standing up quickly. I waved a bit and walked away leaving my friend and the girl i loved there confused while my heart was breaking into pieces. I walked back home, tears rolling down my face. I shouldn't have had such high hopes. I shouldn't have let those words hurt me. I should have been more carefull. I ended up at my door. I wiped my tears away and took a deep breath. I put a smile on my face like a mask, that nobody could take off. I walked in and avoided every question about how the day was.
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the day after that i went back to school. The girl walked towards me "julia whait for me!". I turned around. "You were gone so fast yesterday" she said worried a bit. "Oh yeah, don't worry i just had to do something importent" i said and smiled. The smile looked real, but under that smile was pain. Underneath the smile i was crying. Knowing i wouldn't get the only girl i loved more then anyone. Knowing i would have to get over her, even though i didn't want to forget. Beveause loving her was the best feeling i had ever had. But she could never feel the same way.
"I wanted to introduce my boyfriend to you, but you were already gone" she said.
Those words broke me, even more then i already was.
I didn't understand. She obviously knew that i liked her. She knew that those words would hurt me. Then why would she say that?
The next week lily would continue to confuse me. She would come too close and play with my feelings. She would keep talking about her boyfriend, but then she said things like "If i weren't straight we would be such a good couple"
Every time i saw her, my heart broke a little more. Atleast i thought so, cause how do broken hearts break? It's called a crush for a reason, it crushes your heart.
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-Proof for cover in the comments-
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ❀ ‘ end ₊˚.༄ ೃ -
ㅤㅤㅤ ﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
Comments (1)
Proof for cover~