The Beginning of the End

*This is bit of a rant/entry it’s just something I needed to get out and express before shit hits the fan for me*

Looking back upon all the things that has been said and done no matter on who’s end. You’ve said yourself that you’d make it up to me.

To this fay I still haven’t seen or heard anything of you even ‘trying’ to make things up yet. Which is slowly taking toll on this relationship.

Four months in now from my perspective and from experience. I know now to NEVER make plans and expectations. Because in the end something always has to happen coincidentally the day before or on the day we plan on doing something.

Now that is one of many things that this relationship has taught me. Which it cuts to the bone 🦴 but it’s something I must live with if this partnership is going to continue.

Every time I would be the subject up you always shut it down immediately and say that “one day it will happen”. I’m still waiting for these days to happen.

But realistically and emotionally I know and understand that these days will never come. Which is why I don’t bother bring any of it up or bother making plans. Because in the end I’m always the one who gets burnt 🥵.

At this point in time I’m becoming to get used to being hurt 🤕. With all the petty tears :sob: I’ve shed for you and this partnership. I’m beginning to think 🤔 and realise that I don’t need to reply on you for ANYTHING.

Meaning I won’t ask you for help. I won’t talk to you openly about really personal shit :poop: due to judgement. I’ll tell you my goals and the things I wish to achieve. But by no means you won’t be involved in any of it.

Despite that I love :two_hearts: you deeply but not enough to let you continue to use me as a door mat. I don’t need you to get what I want I’m an independent woman.