:chocolate_bar: 09/27/20 :coffee:

Birthday In 4 Hours!!!

So my bday is 09/28/20 and I asked if I can open my gifts at midnight. After my bf told me I was impatient he said yes :grin: so I'm super excited I don't have long to wait anymore!! I left a note downstairs to remind my family too so they don't forget

Hobbies - Mind Numbing

Well I've been diving into my origami more since its incredibly time consuming. Its mind numbing so it helps with my over thinking and raising thoughts plus when I'm done I usually have something nice to show from it :blush: here's what I've done this week along with the tutorials I followed!

Good News

I haven't binged or purged in about a week now and I haven't self harmed in about a week either so I'm finally making progress to getting better. I REALLY wanted to earlier today and a few times throughout the week but I had enough strength to resist :grin:

Coping Help :bear:

So I'm still struggling with the whole adoption thing. Kinda got triggered today seeing a couple babies I ran home crying. Its hard to know I won't be there for the first two years of her life. Its already hard enough knowing I won't be the one to raise her and she won't call me mommy but now its just added pain to know I can't even hold her for two years once she's born and placed with the family. I've been trying to find ways to cope though and help me get through the days. I still cry a lot but I used to swaddle eeyore and hold him like a baby to make myself feel better. I couldn't walk around with him tho or dress him up and he pouted a lot. So I found a baby size teddy bear and I used one outfit that was supposed to be for squishy and I dressed up the bear and now I swaddle it and sleep with it and I just feel a lot more at peace. So it helps a little.. Not a huge fix but enough