December 3, 2020
Last night I did try.
The idea of it came out of nowhere really. I was in the shower and I thought about taking a bunch of other pills with my normal medication. I thought it was just another intrusive thought, and assumed nothing would come of it.
After my shower I sat around and talk to my best friend. Mew (my friends pronouns!) and I talked for a while, and then I took my meds, and threw in 3 other pills from other things I had. I continued to talk to mew. Then I confessed to what I had just done, and mew told me to get the pill bottles away from me. I did, then took another pill. I went to bed, and as I lied there, my heart started beating like crazy despite the fact that I wasn't worried about what I had just done. My hands and feet started to feel oddly cold, and then I drifted off to sleep.
I was really hoping I wouldn't be alive in the morning but here I am.
Comments (4)
Tbh even though I never formally met you in this community I always thought u were funny. I had those thoughts last night as well but I successfully went to sleep and felt good in the morning. It's a lot. I hope life stops fucking with you already. Nobody deserves to die. Especially you.
Don’t try that ever again, if you died I wouldn’t forgive myself for not trying to help you. If you need someone to talk to I’m always here.
You are alive for a reason. Be glad! You are loved and one day you’ll overcome this. :heart: