i have just noticed that everytime someone who bothers talking to me says "shut up", even in a joking way, makes me cry immediately because like, 'fuck they hate me, i need to just be quiet, why couldn't i just keep listening to sir?'
So I've just realized
that when i was a child
and i was forced to act like a pet if i wanted to be around people, calling them sir, ma'am, master or mistress, that it did indeed leave actual issues in my mentality-
Which means that not only being told to "shut up" sends me straight back to those years
but that my constant urger to refer to people by like the four mentioned, isn't because I'm trying to be respectful, but because I'm so fucking used to needing to call people by those or i would be left alone to deal with the bullying of my peers.
so, like, wow- okay?? Fuck??
Comments (10)
Personally, whenever I hear somebody call me ma'am (first off, it makes me feel very old) but it's like "wow this person was very well raised. They're going to be successful in their future". It's a very positive sense of yknow, they're a good person.
But it's understandable if you were strictly raised that it's a frustrating obedience aspect. It's good to have a little rebellion.
Now that doesn't mean go out and do drugs-
Please don't do that.
Reply to: :cherry_blossom: 。 °•·⤜ცㅌㄴㄴㅂ⤛·•°。 :cherry_blossom:
with my cousin i usually just say "no" as I'm handing it over anyway-
but like, I'll try it with the friend maybe- and if it doesn't get better, I'll try the serious discussion-
thank you for your advice
Reply to: •crow•
Of course! I hope things go well.
If you ever need to get some weight off your shoulders, I'm always free to listen ^^
Reply to: :cherry_blossom: 。 °•·⤜ცㅌㄴㄴㅂ⤛·•°。 :cherry_blossom:
I'm bad at responding to kindness, but thank you- i may take you up on the offer eventually