I Don’t Like Talking To Her

TW: Small Mention Of A Toxic/Abusive Relationship

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I don’t like talking

to her,

and frankly,

I don’t want to talk

to her

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When you are in

love with someone,

you can’t see any

of their faults

When you are

heartbroken over

over someone,

all you see are

their faults

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Now, I’m a hypocrite

if you’ve ever seen

one.

I used to adore her

voice, and if I ever

texted her, I would

check my phone

every second to

see if she answered

Oh who am I kidding?

I still do that

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I could sit there and

be content just

listening to her talk

and I could fall

asleep to the sound

of her voice

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But I was in love

with her then

Now, things are

different

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Whenever we talk

it’s always

”Her, her, her”

And I used to love that

Now, it just shows

how much she

likes to brag

She talks about every-

thing she’s doing,

all the things she’s

getting. This and that

and this and that

When it’s finally

my turn to talk,

which is usually

after a long pause

because she wanted

me to react to her

and I didn’t,

Its clear as day that

in her silence she

is saying

”I really don’t care,

can we get back to

me now?”

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I keep my

responses short,

hoping that she’ll

catch on to the fact

that I don’t want

to talk to her

We’ll sit on ft for hours.

I’m silent more than

half the time, and

when I do talk, it’s

about how I should

get going

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I’m not going to

send her the

”we should stop

talking” paragraph,

because i’m not

going to do what

she did to me

Revenge isn’t ok

Besides, It’s not

worth hurting her

I can’t do that to

a person

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But we talked last

night

And it was weird

It’s weird laughing

with her

It’s weird when she

tells me how pretty

I am

No

I hate it when she

tells me how pretty

I am

I’m trying to drift

away every day

And with each

ing moment

she tries to get

closer and closer

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She hurt me in

ways that no one

should ever be

hurt

She broke me

Hearing her name

is a trigger to all

the abuses I’ve

suffered

But she said she

would never lose

me

So Is it really for

me to decide if I

leave?

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I don’t want to

check for her

texts anymore

I don’t want to care

Every time she says

”I love you”

I never send it back

But every time I

want to talk to

someone, she

always pops into

my mind

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I know I sound like

a horrible person

for keeping this

from her, but some-

times the blissful

ignorance is better

than the painful truth

I can’t just tell

her all of this

Every time I tried

to leave, she beat

me to it and beat

me down

I can’t break her

the way she broke

me

Because sometimes,

she’s the only one

that listens

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