Night thoughs(TW mentions of depression, wanting to sh)

Night thoughs (TW)

My grades are dropping

My tears are falling

I feel like screaming

But I am still holding.

I wish she would understand it's not that easy.

I wish she was aware that i am not well

But yet i keep my mouth shut.

Cuz who am i if not an ungrateful, stupid kid that comes uneasy.

My mum is screaming

My mind is killing

I am barely ing

But I am still breathing

I am struggling.

I want relapsing

I am deeply failing.

I can't keep fighting.

50 days that I am clean.

50 nights that I haven't broken the deal.

I try distracting

Yet i am failing.

Will this heavy feeling in my chest ease off?

Will my quet tears speak louder when my soul?

Will I fall asleep with no scars?

Will I wake up unwounded?