Trigger Warning: Sensitive Content (Abuse, Harmful Experiences). My experience with abuse.

Trigger Warning: Sensitive Content (Abuse, Harmful Experiences)

This article discusses topics related to abuse and harmful experiences.

Please be advised that the content may be distressing to some readers.

The intention of this article is not to cause harm or trigger anyone,

but rather to share a personal experience in a respectful and honest way.

Your mental health and safety are important—please prioritize your well-being while reading.

If you are in danger or need someone to talk to,

consider reaching out to a professional or service.

Here are some important s:

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Global Emergency and Resources

Emergency (Police/Medical/Fire): Dial 112 (common emergency number across the EU and many countries)

USA: 911 (emergency), 1-800-656-4673 (RAINN – National Sexual Assault Hotline)

UK: 999 (emergency), 0808 802 9999 (SA Crisis England & Wales)

Canada: 911 (emergency), 1-877-392-7583 (Ending Violence Association of Canada)

Australia: 000 (emergency), 1800 737 732 (1800RESPECT – National Sexual Assault Helpline)

India: 112 (emergency), 1091 (Women’s Helpline)

South Africa: 10111 (police), 0800 428 428 (GBV Command Centre)

New Zealand: 111 (emergency), 0800 88 33 00 (HELP Sexual Abuse )

Brazil: 190 (police), 180 (Women’s Center)

: 110 (police), 08000 116 016 (Violence Against Women Helpline)

Global (English-speaking): 116 123 (Samaritans in many countries)

or visit https://www.hotpeachpages.net/ for a full list of international lines.

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AGAIN:

This article discusses topics related to abuse and harmful experiences.

Please be advised that the content may be distressing to some readers.

The intention of this article is not to cause harm or trigger anyone,

but rather to share a personal experience in a respectful and honest way.

Your mental health and safety are important—please prioritize your well-being while reading.

If you feel that reading about these topics may be triggering or upsetting,

please know that you are absolutely free to stop here.

Your emotional safety comes first.

You can close this text at any time—no explanation is needed,

and no judgment will ever be placed on that decision.

This is a space meant to be safe, honest, and ive for survivors.

I share my experience openly not to hurt anyone,

but in the hope that others may feel seen, less alone,

or empowered to speak their truth if and when they choose.

No harm is intended in any way.

before we start

𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗂𝗌 𝖼𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗌𝗂𝖿𝗂𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝖾𝗑𝗎𝖺𝗅 𝖺𝖻𝗎𝗌𝖾?

Sexual assault is a form of sexual violence that involves any non-consensual sexual act or penetration.

It can happen to anyone, regardless of their gender, age, or background.

Sexual assault is often defined legally as an act where one person forces or coerces another person into sexual activity without their consent.

This lack of consent can be a result of physical force, threats, manipulation, or an inability to give consent due to factors such as intoxication or mental incapacity.

The harm caused by sexual assault is profound and multifaceted.

The immediate physical injuries may include bruising, tearing, and sexually transmitted infections.

But the psychological and emotional impact can last much longer.

Survivors of sexual assault often experience trauma that can affect their mental health for years.

Common emotional consequences include depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder,(PTSD) and feelings of shame or self-blame.

Sexual assault also affects a person's sense of safety and autonomy.

Survivors may struggle with trust, fear, and control issues.

It can lead to difficulties in personal relationships, intimacy, and even day-to-day functioning.

For many, the trauma may also manifest in physical symptoms, including sleep disturbances, eating disorders, or chronic pain.

The impact of sexual assault extends beyond the individual survivor.

It can affect their families, friends, and communities, creating ripples of distress and pain.

When sexual assault is not acknowledged or addressed, it perpetuates a cycle of violence and power imbalance in society.

It’s essential to understand that sexual assault is not just an act of physical violation, but a profound violation of a person's autonomy, dignity, and sense of self.

Recognizing the trauma caused by sexual assault is critical in ing survivors and creating a culture that prioritizes consent, respect, and care for everyone.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault or sexual violence, please reach out to a trusted service, counselor, or helpline.

Healing is possible, and no one should have to navigate the aftermath alone.

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From Silence to Strength: Realizing I Was Abused—Twice

For a long time, I carried my pain in silence.

I didn’t have the words to describe what I went through, and for years, I questioned whether what happened to me was even real.

I now know that what I experienced was abuse—not once, but twice—and none of it was normal, acceptable, or my fault.

My First Experience

I was sixteen when I entered my first relationship.

I was young, trusting, and had no idea what love was supposed to look like.

Over the course of a year, my boyfriend manipulated and abused me emotionally, mentally, and physically.

At the time, I didn’t have the language to call it abuse.

I just knew I felt confused, scared, and deeply alone.

The Pattern Repeated

In my next relationship, the abuse took a different form but hurt just as much.

My ex-partner used alcohol and force to violate my boundaries.

Again, I felt trapped and powerless, unsure if anyone would believe me or if I even had the right to speak up.

This relationship also lasted around a year—twelve more months of silence and survival.

The Turning Point

It took time, reflection, and for me to finally see the truth: what happened to me was not love, and it was not okay.

I realized that I had been abused—twice—and that I deserved to feel safe, respected, and heard.

Sharing my story is part of my healing.

I speak now not to relive the pain, but to help someone else who may be wondering if what they're going through is abuse.

If You’re Reading This and Unsure: You Deserve Help

Here are some steps you can take if you think you may be in an abusive situation or are healing from one:

•Acknowledge your feelings. If something doesn’t feel right, trust that instinct. Abuse doesn’t always leave bruises—it can be emotional, verbal, or psychological too.

•Reach out to someone you trust. This could be a friend, family member, teacher, or therapist. You don’t have to go through this alone.

• a professional service. Many organizations offer free, confidential help. They can listen, guide you, and help you create a plan.

•Know that healing is possible. You don’t have to have all the answers right away. You only have to take one step at a time.

A Note from Me

I want to start by acknowledging that I had originally hoped to share this post in April, during Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

But as a survivor myself, I found that April was a difficult and emotionally heavy time.

I realized I wasn’t in a place where I could write or share this openly without compromising my own sense of safety and care.

So I paused—and I chose to wait until I felt more grounded and ed.

Healing isn’t linear, and sometimes even speaking up takes time.

I hope you can understand this delay not as silence, but as an act of self-comion.

I’m sharing now, when I feel ready, and I’m grateful for the space to do so.

Thank you for being here, for reading, and for holding this story with care.

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Thank You for Reading

If you’ve made it this far—thank you. Truly.

Thank you for taking the time to stop, to read, to listen, and to hold space for my story.

It takes comion and strength to witness someone else’s truth, especially when it touches on pain, trauma, and survival.

Whether you’re here as a fellow survivor, a er, a friend, or someone simply trying to understand—your presence matters more than you know.

This hasn’t been easy to write, and I know it may not have been easy to read.

But healing begins with being heard.

And by reading these words, you’ve helped make that possible.

You’ve made room for understanding, for empathy, for honesty—and that’s powerful.

Wherever you are in your day or your life, I hope you carry some gentleness with you.

I hope you take care of yourself.

I hope you that kindness, whether given or received, is never wasted.

Wishing you a peaceful day or a restful night ahead.

Stay safe, stay kind, and thank you—again—for being here.

With all my heart,

Thank you.

⋆｡°✩﹒❝A few quotes from anonymous survivors❞﹒✩°｡⋆

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