OC Review | Magus Angelos

[ 𝗥𝗘:BOOT ]   • • •    🖥    //    A.L!AS   ⨾

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BLOG TYPE   ◖   W3LC0ME    ↵ ↵     ▬▭▬▭

𓄴      ᨌ      #     LO4D + 1NG     ᨌ      𓄵

To submit your OC to be

critiqued, go here. Today,

I'll be reviewing Magus Angelos.

Art on cover image is by

Squidables.

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▹   - -    ▹    [ TOP1C : 01 ]     ﹏    ☻     ᵎᵎ

TYPING ..   ꏍ    ▬▭▬▭▬▭▬▭    ꏍ         ⌨   ꒷

𓊔     𖡩     QUIRK   ?!     𖡩     𓊔

The idea of a quirkless OC who

believes quirks are crutches is

very interested and has a lot

of depth. Since being quirkless

is such a nuanced topic in the

BNHA universe, the fact that

Angelos's lack of quirk has a

direct impact on both his

personality and backstory, it

goes to show you know what

you're doing.

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甲    T0P!C : 02     𓂃     𔘓     (   🗯   )    ﹆

꒷ ꒦꒷ •   ꒦꒷ ꒦꒷     ҂   ½      ː     APPEAR   —   ANCE

𓈃    — -    ᝪ    - —    ᝪ   - —     ᳃ • ᳃ • ᳃

Angelos's appearance description

goes into great detail about his

looks, and even the meaning behind

certain accessories. His work attire

reminds me of Monoma's hero

outfit, but it's unclear what it means

by "work." Is that referring to his

work as a villain, or does he have

an actual job as well? Regardless

of clothes, the color scheme chosen

to represent him fits well with his

personality and theme. Maybe this

is just a personal opinion, but it

reminds me of Yuri from Fire Emblem

Three Houses, who I always saw

as a more charismatic/charlatan

character. The only harsh criticism

I have for appearance is the eyepatch.

Sure, it looks cool and he wants it

for the aesthetic, but it is a direct

detriment to his goals. He wants to

prove you don't need a quirk to

be a hero. He has to fight with only

his martial prowess, against others

who would presumably have the

advantage of a quirk. And what does

he do? He willingly blinds himself,

sacrifices any depth perception, and

opens up several weaknesses in the

process by covering up an eye just

for aesthetic purposes. Sure, he

could remove it during combat,

but not only would he need time to

adjust to suddenly being returned

to full vision, but what would he do

if a surprise attack took advantage of

his blind spot? In the heat of an

unexpected battle, trying to remove

the eyepatch to rid himself of

his self-inflicted weakness might

result in his death, but so might

keeping it on. It just seems like such

a needles and honestly idiotic

thing for someone of his supposed

wits to do.

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⚑ // ⚐     ﹇ .    :satellite:   ⺀   ((    TOP?C : 03 !

▬▭▬▭▬     𖤘      ………     𖤘        ꒦꒷ - ꒦꒷ - ꒦

𖡡     PERSON   %   ALITY   ⫘⫘⫘   •   ⫘⫘⫘   •

Angelos's personality leans

heavily into the idea he's

charming and manipulative.

Which is fine, but...is that all

there is? You mention briefly

that he can be kind and caring

outside of work, but don't go

any more into it beyond that

sentence. What is he like

when he's not trying to get

something out of others?

What are his social weaknesses?

I understand that he can

charm and trick, but only

going into depth about that

one aspect makes the character

hard to relate to. It's a cool

theme, but he doesn't feel

human.

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❛ ❛    :bulb: ]      ꠴      ||     TOP|C : 04   ↴ ↴

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BACK - STO - RY - ——— -

        𓄴      ᨌ      #     LO4D + 1NG     ᨌ      𓄵

The backstory is straightforward

and pretty linear. Boy born for

quirk, has no quirk, is emotionally

discarded. Boy wants to prove

worth despite bullying, applies

and is denied from countless

hero school. Driven by anger

at his unfair situation, boy vows

to show the world they're wrong.

Obviously, I'm grossly oversimplifying,

but I'm doing to bring up a point.

It's ultimately up to you what all

to include in the backstory, but

more personal details wouldn't

hurt. Make it more personable

and relatable. Tell us more about

Angelos's family, why he wants to

be a hero. How did his magic tricks,

which he seems so smitten with,

ultimately help him? The touch

about learning magic seems to be

the only touch of something personal

to Angelos.

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!?   #ochelperadvice

divider art by @fenkko on tumblr ..   edited ..