idk yalls

My depression and anxiety have been acting up and I'm mega stressed. I'm stressed about stuff now and stuff happening 2 months from now. I'm stressed about people and school and work and my health.

I FEEL LIKE SHIT. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally.

I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP. On what? IDEK! I just wish I could stop everything sometimes, especially feeling.

I do not want the pain or the nausea. Or the light headedness or dizziness.

I can't the last time I ate tbh. 2 days ago? 3???? IDK!!!!!!!!

I called my doctors Monday, Friday, and today. NO FUCKING ANSWER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Idk what to do anymore. Idk why I can't eat or gain weight. I just want to be normal. I just want to eat food and be okay. The worst part is not knowing why and not being able to fix it. Why do I have to be so broken.

I just want to be able to go out and eat like I want a mcchicken. I want taco bell. I want KFC. I want pizza. I want mac n cheese. Lasagna. Fettuccine. Ramen. EGGs. All the different choices of ice cream. I miss this shit and it isn't the same or as broad with all of my restrictions.

Which, the past few days I literally haven't even been eating.

LITERALLY EVERYTHING HAS BEEN MAKING ME SICK. Even stuff that didn't like 2 days ago. few Days ago I ate chicken nuggets. few days ago I ate a mexican pizza fresco light tomato from taco bell. Sunday I ate chicken nuggets, all hell breaks loose. Today, I eat taco bell, same thing.

I'm seriously just..done..

Started crying and idk what else to say tbh so I might just end this here

-BG