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"The mystery of human existence lies

not only in just staying alive, but in

finding something to live for."

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Table of contents;

                           • Physical appearance

                           • Personality

                           • Season one

                                       -The Cadets

                                       -Death of a star

                           • Season two

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Physical Appearance

Apolonija is a tall woman of a leaner build standing at 176cm, with an oval face and mismatched eyes with her right one being dark brown, almost black, and her left eye being a light hazel color. She has long and dark brown hair which reaches the middle of her back which she often braids or puts in a ponytail - with one exception being in her cadet years as she cut her hair short, only letting it grow after the retaking of Shiganshina.

She possessed a more austere of gazes, hers was a more stern beauty in comparison to her mother’s who was gentle out as she was within. After the events in Trost, she took to wearing bandages around her throat to cover a gnarly scar there, it grew into a habit and even after the wound healed she didn’t stop wearing some kind of coverings. Her outfits generally consist of darker and washed out shades, ones which preferably have collars.

In her disguises she often wore jewelry chokers to cover her neck instead of bandages, to both flash the false richness and show it off and to decorate herself in the fashion of Marley.

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Personality

Possessed of sharp wit and hearing, Apolonija is a rather integrous individual with a strong sense of morality, with herself always staying gray and reserved. She finds it hard to hate anyone, and hard to love anyone, and thus her judgment takes no sides or favors and poses a force to be reckoned with if challenged. Although often times described as a loner by her peers, she never had any issues in expressing her mind or accepting an amiable approach from them; she never shied away from saying what she thinks even if her words were cruel, but was well guarded when her emotions were brought into question. Her dedication, integrity and loyalty to humanity as well as her skill make her a valuable member of the team, and those close enough to her know to consider her a true friend.

Her will is not easy to bend or break, as shown in many instances in her life and especially during her time undercover in Marley and during the raid on Liberio.

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S E A S O N   O N E

August, year 833.

Apolonija Ambrosia. The eldest daughter to Sandor Ambrosia and Eidel Beonheard. The silent whimpers of the child echoed in the small confinement of the room, and her mother sluggishly outstretched her tired arms to accept her pale baby. Consoling whispers befall the child's small ears, all while a few dying sun rays caress her cheeks and melt into her skin. The warmth of the sun soon gives way to a less warm night, with stormy clouds of summer rain gathering up ahead. Eidel was alone, sleepless short nights spent consoling her child as the house rumbled with chastising yells of her mother-in-law.

“The things we love destroy us every time. that..”

Eidel found no comfort or help in her mother-in-law, as the old woman took no liking to her due to her class and heritage and therefore did not care to help for anything concerning her. This left many sleepless nights and tears raising her daughter whose appetite was small as she was.

This little appetite did not change as the girl grew into the environment of her home; an environment akin to a stagnant lake with storms here and there that would make the waters murky, to put it into an artistic perspective as Apolonija would do so often. Painting pictures from situations and conversations that would otherwise be too difficult to visualize. Yet she never dared to truly indulge into that talent and from when her mother would allow her, she’d take off into the nature around her for a more physical approach to the world around. She never got to be a child for long, as the earliest she could she was already helping run the family property and battling her grandmother’s lies. The woods were her sole escape, a temporary remedy where she could bury her fears and nurture her innocence she otherwise buried. As scrawny as she was at the time, she proved herself skilled with foraging in the same woods, be it for food ingredients or some collectibles she’d scavenge that were interesting to her eye.

Yet, on occasion, she’d bring back something living, on the brink of death, but unless the injury was comparable to that of a broken nail, the animal always died in her care, and her mother, as sentimental and caring of a woman as she was didn’t hold back on her resentment for Apolonija bringing dying animals into her home. She felt saddened to be unable to help these beings and would rather have not seen them at all. Gradually this disheartened Apolonija from wanting to care for these little critters, and the next time she would stumble upon one, she was more likely to put it out of its misery - with as much swiftness and courage as a child could muster.

There were few and rare things that Apolonija couldn't put up with as she proved to be quite enduring of various personalities around her, even loud, unstable ones. In that regard she reminded her mother of her father, who remained busy with work day in and day out, bringing food to the table. And her mother entrusted a handful of responsibilities to her daughter, one of them being the role of a mother. Her younger brother, Dalan, became a silent thorn in her side; always having to drag him along with her or otherwise keep an eye out for him. He wasn’t particularly loud, but that only proved more troublesome when he’d give in to his temptation for pranks and mischief. She did not hate her brother, and although she begrudgingly did teach him many things and was always willing to give him advice, she’d rather have him just learn and do things on his own instead of having her do it for him as he'd often plead with her. He had no interest in menial tasks, no matter their importance.

On one of many markets within Wall Maria she met a boy named Luca Reed who she instantly clicked with over shared troubles of older siblings, as Luca had a younger sister he was watching over, and soon after they became best friends and pen pals once Luca had to travel back to his home. Luca lived in Shiganshina District along with his family who weren’t well off at the time after a family death and legal fighting between two brothers took away family riches and property. For this, Apolonija would often bring him food when they met up near the same market square, understanding his troubles too well with the absence of a stable family. He became someone she really cared for, a family, someone she wanted to help and keep close to her, and it wouldn't be rare for her to spend nights gazing at the stars with him until their parents came to drag them back home.

Many times they discussed their own troubles and dreams, one of which was that they grow wealthy enough to live comfortably and in peace, helping people with their skill and knowledge. Luca shared the dream of working honorably by the King himself, something they’d both giggled at but it was a genuine wish for him to do so. And the closest thing to that was to work as an MP in the interior. Apolonija often heard him mention his uncle, who was an MP, and how great he was. Luca really looked up to him and he’d come to visit them soon. Luca’s family was heavy in the military unlike her own. Her grandfather was a Garrison soldier once, but he ed when she was too young to .

On the day when the walls fell, Apolonija had been out with her brother in the gardens of her home. Living within the north part of Wall Maria, she was one of the first to evacuate along with her brother via ferries. She had lost her family within the crowds, and only managed to cling on to her brother long enough to not lose him. Fear gripped her as she was now alone, stranded in the night with only Dalan at her side; there was no sign of her parents or beloved friend. She only knew she had to keep pushing and keep them two alive.

Hours after the evacuation felt like years and seconds simultaneously with everyone panicking, the cacophony of fearful men and women bringing her stomach into twists, and by the time the dust settled both siblings were seeking rest on empty stomachs. Apolonija ushered Dalan into the warehouse where the rest of the refugees were gathering to sleep. Dalan, as young as he was, couldn’t stop whining and crying for his parents, and out of frustration Apolonija scolded the boy, telling him to open his eyes and realize the world won’t bend to his benefit as she did for all the years she watched him, they were alone now and needed to keep a level head. Despite the obvious exhaustion, Apolonija did not find any sleep in the strange place, stuffed with people and in the early hours of the morning she struck up a short conversation with a short blonde boy who introduced himself as Armin Arlert. He was on his way to get food rations with his grandfather. Their chat was brief but it gave her another perspective on the titans as the younger boy described the event briefly from his first-hand experience.

After that she'd run into the boy, along with his two other friends while she would fend for both herself and her brother, keeping an eye out for any family although to no avail for a long while. Apolonija would go to lead Dalan around Wall Rose in search of her father who always traveled between faraway places on the behest of his work, using his own name to buy their age inside. Inside Wall Rose she only found scarce traces of her father's presence that led her to the village of Dauper where she found refuge, soon leaving her brother with the Braus family while she kept looking for their parents. There she got acquainted with their daughter Sasha, who initially did not take up much liking to her due to Apolonija being one of the strangers on their precious lands, but over time both of them got friendly. In one of their conversations they brought up the cadets, and the fact both of them planned to . She confided in Sasha that she hoped to find her friend Luca there, who she wanted to the Military with since they were young. She hoped to see the world some more, all these walls had begun to make her feel sick with how easily they crumbled, and the world outside was the only escape she could see from the shadow of the walls.

Finally, in 846, she found her parents. They had found a settlement and took Dalan back quickly upon learning about his whereabouts. Their home was a modest one, and her grandmother had been injured in the evacuation which caused her to be all the more chattier and snarky towards any help she was offered. Apolonija didn't feel at home, and told her parents of her decision to the Cadets which was immediately scorned by both of them out of pure fear for her safety, but in the end, neither of them could shake her will or stony temper. They attempted to convince her to become a writer instead, a diplomat, anything but a Scout - but in the end they settled on a deal that she goes to the Garrison.

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The Cadets

In the following year of finding her parents she enrolled into the 104th Cadet Corp. At the assembly all unease broke from her mind upon hearing the familiar name be shouted in the distance. As she had hoped, she reunited with her dear friend - Luca Reed. Immediately after they talked together for hours, catching up on lost years spent apart. They asked each other where they hoped to go with all of this, if their views changed, and Apolonija was in for a shock to see him change his mind about his MP dream. Finding out how his mother and sister perished in the first attack, and how his uncle died too, after a cowardly attempt to run away only to be torn apart by an abnormal. And that single handedly showed him the ineptitude of the MPs and how he didn’t wish to contribute to their stalling. He would find real honor and cause elsewhere - the Scouts. His father managed to find a good enough job within the Merchant’s guild, thanks to some connections he made after the death of his twin brother, and built up a quick structure of a reputation. The way this reputation was built bothered Luca and discouraged him from following in his father’s footsteps as it was filthy, and even with the threats of his father Luca stayed adamant on ing the Scouts and not the MPs.

His decision bothered Apolonija as she lost him once, and wouldn't stay idle while he discarded his life to be fodder. Some small arguments over his impulsive self-sacrificing decisions and the hunger for honor would become an often occurrence, although they’d never last too long nor did they get overheated within their training years, as both individuals agreed they couldn't waste time being angry with each other. Luca has changed in the time they were apart, that much was apparent. But to what extent that change went, and if it was an improvement or a downgrade, she could never tell with how moody Luca had become with certain subjects. Nonetheless, the two were each other's ing rocks and shields. Luca always went out of his way to make more connections and took Apolonija with him, and her counseling was what he always sought before making any major decision.

Integrating well within the training system, Apolonija was quick to adjust and swim with the flow, Luca quick at her heels. Luca, unlike Apolonija, was way more of a team player, and a team leader. Making friendships wherever he stepped foot, but never had he been vulnerable with any of these people. Superficial would be one word to describe these relations, and one sided too with Luca being able to sway hearts but keep his heart behind his back. It was a subconscious thing, Apolonija guessed, as whenever this statement was brought up between them he'd express his guilt and shame. It was never his intention to have it seem as if he was playing his comrades, and would then go to do some good deeds to silently make up for his wrongdoings. Apolonija became his shadow, tailing him when she sensed he was out of line and beating him right back into order when he got too cocky and argumentative with it - doing so out of consideration for his safety and this reputation he was building, and the safety of others. She believed he could build honest friendships and that those would be more beneficial to all.

Apolonija didn’t go out of her way to make so many friends herself however, deeming him the only one she really needed in the grand scheme of things but she never rejected an amiable approach from others. As much of a loner at heart she was, she did get into good talks with Armin and with good brawls with Reiner which in turn got her to respect Reiner more - who she thought of as nothing more but brawns and no brains in the beginning. Reiner earned her trust down the line, and they'd often say how they wished they had more time to properly sit down and talk. It was a slow buildup of friendships, but it was all genuine baby-steps. Through Armin she learned more about Eren and his determination, and saw Mikasa’s skill first hand as well as Jean's arrogance which she'd often shut down. She’d often butt in her own piece of mind when any arguments sounded near her, and in some she acted as a judge, or more so - a whip to the guilty as her chill demeanor only broke when in face of defiance or falseness.

As months went on Apolonija caught a mild reputation for “bringing luck” despite her initial impressions. Her ability to be highly adaptable and in touch with her surroundings paired with her critical thinking was something many came to ire along with the helpful, sharp hearing she possessed. A few even went as far as to relax their guard when paired with her in a team, knowing she was capable of taking much on. Luca would also exaggerate this apparent luck about her by throwing a teasing nickname “lucky-charm” out there and bringing her along to any card or dice game he partook in with others, no matter how good or bad he was in the said game. And if he lost, he'd joke about how she gave her luck to his opponent instead of him.

Apolonija was a natural and well balanced out throughout the training years, the only thing keeping her from truly excelling being her own mind, her doubts when trying things for the first few times which slowed her progress. Once she got the gist of it after the initial hesitation and tip-toeing, she only honed her skill further from there. The ones giving her wind in the back were Luca and Sasha at whose praise she'd often crack a chuckle at. This mindset, in the end, separated her from the top 10 by a single score, something she beat herself over mentally, not because she wanted to the MPs, but because she wanted to prove to herself that she was capable. Luca was worse in taking his score to heart, and for a short period he gave Apolonija minimal as she scored higher than him. With a few snarky remarks thrown her way, she knew what the reasoning behind it was but made no effort to console him or even talk to him, simply letting him cool off and tell him at a later date that she was not here to spite him.

These events were followed by the second attack of the Collosal Titan. Both Luca and Apolonija were coming down from the walls after cleaning out the canons when the blast came that dislodged their hooks and nearly had them fall to their deaths with debris flying down. They were paired up in different squads but found each other when their squads either got lost or killed by the titans. Luca lost his entire squad to the titans and blinded by his endless anger and thirst for honor his reasoning gave way to impulse and he began to recklessly chase titans to kill, only stopped by Apolonija and was quickly discouraged from wasting any more of their precious gas.

Upon regrouping with the other survivors on the rooftops, Apolonija expresses her sympathy with Armin, telling him she felt sorry for what happened even if he still didn’t utter a word, only flinching when she patted the top of his head gently. Having no further words to console him with, she only squeezed his shoulder before walking back to the group. On the other hand, Luca gave an attempt to lighten everyone’s spirits, even if it meant slapping them in the face with the horrors they were facing. Despite his eloquent words, he only managed to turn some heads and nothing more than that. Soon after, Armin declares the death of his squad, stating this sole survival being thanks to their sacrifices, and in that moment Apolonija feels a faint tug at the edge of her sleeve. It’s no one else but Luca, looking at Armin all the while with a masked look. Desperation hangs heavy in the air until the arrival of Mikasa, after which Luca assumed lead alongside Jean. Apolonija wasn’t so pleased with Luca taking the lead, despite having no reasons to doubt his capabilities.

As their spearhead, the whole group follows the trio. Luca and Jean are in nearly perfect sync with one another, swinging up and beyond to avoid the gluttonous hands of the titans with Apolonija being their backup, glued to their backs and being their third pair of eyes, helping Jean free himself from the hands of a titan once he got grabbed from mid-air.

Upon hearing the cries of other cadets, they land on top of connected rooftops and watch in unease as cadets get devoured. A fate they believed awaited them all that day. Seeing Jean’s hesitation, Luca scolds him for doing nothing and goes to grab his blades, yelling at how heartless he could be while his comrades got torn limb by limb. Jean is both speechless and enraged by this, but before Luca has the chance to swoop down in attempts to be a hero, Apolonija slammed him back into the rooftop, casting her shadow over him. Gasps came from the others as she put her hands on him, towering over Luca with a look never seen before on her face. Twisted and angry, a thick wall of a mask as she bid Luca to sheathe his blades. No further argument was heard.

This little quarrel between them seemed to add onto Jean’s already rampant thoughts, pushing him to give command for them all to finally move. Without hesitation Apolonija pulled Luca onto his feet and had him in her sights all along the way back to the building, into which they broke through the windows of. Finding the supply team huddled up in fear, they’re all quiet but Apolonija did not miss the shaking of Luca’s clenched fist, his glare piercing as he watched the remaining supply team scurry along at last.

Flying debris suddenly hits Luca’s arm when a part of the wall within the hall cracked under the sheer strength of one of the titans. Just as they were about to run off to escape the fat fingers trying to reach them, silence prevailed within their ears, a deafening buzz as the moment slowed down all together, and a titan's hand punched the other titan’s head clean off.

As Mikasa, Connie and Armin reed them, telling them of the titan fighting their battle, they all stared in bewilderment at this manifestation of human grief-turned-anger.

Both Apolonija and Luca were in the lift, with Luca’s aim with a rifle being weakened due to the debris having hit his arm and shoulder. After the cadets dealt with the titans Apolonija wasted no time in filling up both her and Luca’s gear in a lone corner while he was advised to rest. Shaky hands and aches rumbling through her body, too aware of how weak her body was. Images of Luca’s mangled body sprouted from her imagination and the fear of herself dying made tears prick at her eyes, but where she felt fear she suddenly felt something different seep in. Like tendrils, it gripped her from within, coating every part of her ribcage and squeezing it in a way fear never could - rage. Her hands weren’t shaky any more and she helped Luca settle into his gear once more before moving out, ignorant of what strength she used. Luca watched as Apolonija whisked herself off to the walls after calling him to do the same, yet the mystery of their victory was far too tempting to up on. What he saw was beyond his wildest dreams as a waterfall's worth of steam that shot upward cleared, and gave them all sight of Mikasa cradling Eren’s body. Luca felt a multitude of emotions that he couldn’t quite comprehend in that moment, and all that was left once they were taken back was body aches and unease. Or maybe it was just fear. Whatever it was in truth, it showed his conflict on his face which paired up with Apolonija's inquiries broke his resolve and he told her of what he had seen. Sharing his own opinion on it he expressed how they finally could have hope and a chance against the titans.

It wasn't within his code to disobey orders, even the ones simple as this gag order was, yet this showed the cracks within his person, it showed the child within. And as smoke cleared from within the walls further in, and Commander Pyxis appeared high above them, the two cadets stood close to one another. Shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart.

Having witnessed such a ray of hope, that of Eren's ability to become a titan, Luca was overcome with sore enthusiasm upon hearing the plan that Commander Pyxis screamed down at all of them. His blue eyes caught the rays of the orange sun, hope and thirst for victory stiffening his muscles and making his eyes light up like a flame. Apolonija wasn’t so amused by this, remarking how this was yet another plan to help the famine within the walls, something that scraped against Luca’s ears, making him see red. This time, however, he bit his tongue, knowing Apolonija wouldn’t desert her post, especially knowing that her family was within the next wall and at risk of death if they only acted as sitting ducks for the titans. Her mother’s face appeared behind her closed eyelids as she took a moment to gather herself, the echo of a motherly voice whispering in her mind to stay strong while everyone else around her cried out in unison, taking up arms and gear.

Her family got lucky once against the titans once. It wouldn't happen again. And Luca would make her see what he was seeing.

And so she marched onto the walls, stationed into the decoy team alongside the majority of her comrades. Serving as bait to lure in any stray titans, Apolonija kept an eye out for Luca, running across rooftops to preserve her gas which nearly had her served on a silver platter for a titan. It would've been her end if Reiner Braun hadn't swooped in to paint the rooftop with that titan's blood. They had no time for gratitude and they only exchanged a firm nod before parting ways with their teams.

Luca was becoming too reckless with his technique, jumping into hoards of titans where escape was shallow. Whatever thoughts were swirling in his mind made the saddest of smiles come across his face she ever saw once they noticed the yellow smoke billow into the air, touching the clouds like a rusty spear. It came about him like a flicker, eyes mellowed and full of some mist even though she couldn’t see past. It broke something within her, mourning something he couldn’t even dream of. Something she didn't know she lost until it was too late. In that moment she knew that the Luca she knew had been left behind somewhere on this journey, perhaps in the rubble of his stomped on house? Or maybe in the training camps where Commandant Shadis knocked every ounce of sentiment out of him.

The orange lights made his hair appear as if it were burning. Auburn locks catching ablaze as if to hold onto the light even as the sun settled.

Sleep was thin for Apolonija that night despite the exhaustion. It was like she was rooted directly into the balance of the living world and the world of imagination and the unconscious. She could see pale blue light glowing behind her eyelids and a humid, cold atmosphere raking its archaic hands of old up her back. She could feel sand between her toes and she felt too disoriented to think. Nothing made sense, and it made her float, her head spinning and spinning. It soon became a nightmare as she struggled under her sheets. And when an actual hand came to shake her from these apparent hallucinations she jumped, coming face to face with blue eyes that have become a stranger to her.

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Death Of A Star

                          “Come with me.. I know it’s early but this is our chance..”

She blinked her bleary eyes, realizing it was Luca, in full gear and with her gear in his hand, waiting. “A chance for what?”, she questioned, brows furrowing as her heart beat in alarm at this possible proposition. It was still dark, she noted. But becoming lighter as the skies around them prepared for the coming of the morning.

“For us.. for our dream. Don’t you ? If we kill the remaining of the titans the Scouts didn’t get to, can you even imagine the rewards? I’d shoot up straight through to the top, and you..” Luca trailed off as he recognized the look of rejection on his friend’s face, his own expression falling to the one of his ‘captain self’, as Apolonija knew it. A serious, blank look. Simple as that, yet so intricate and complex like a spider's web. It carried even more weight than she ever knew before. The sheets on her felt ragged and even cold, so she couldn’t even say she was tempted to fall back asleep for an extra hour of rest. Luca had dropped her gear in the doorway of the cramped barrack she was in, and quietly she hurried after him as swiftly as she could.

He scaled the walls and she followed in toe, yelling after him to stop what he was doing and return back, her voice hoarse from sleep.

He didn't listen, his eyes focused ahead into the city they had taken back for humanity, the first victory in their known history. Luca picked just the convenient time to start this plan of his, when the guards were switching out, when the wall was completely barren and it would've been a coincidence if anyone noticed them even with all the yelling. Everyone was too exhausted from battle to care about some distant bickering.

   "Are you crazy!? You'll only get yourself killed- are you truly gonna sell your life for something as cheap as a day's worth of praise?" Asked Apolonija, landing roughly onto one of the rooftops and she watched as Luca spun around to face her, his cloak whipping in the wind.

"You believe I'm after some praise, is that how short sighted I appear in your eyes, Apo?" - his voice cut even more so than his gaze. And as he climbed onto a chimney to look further down upon her he looked ten years more old than his actual age. "It is a plan I've been waiting to pull through since we were cadets, to finally do something about this, to show the people there's hope in the younger generations - and me. that, Apolonija. You cannot sway me from this.. just as I can't sway you into ing me. So unless you wish to me, fall back now... I don't intend for you to get hurt on my accord"

The cold morning wind had whipped her cheeks until they were shaded with a light pink hue, it was so cold she almost felt warm. "You are not only short-sighted but blind as well if honor and rank is all you see as a result of this stupid plan! You do not have the ability to go through with this, we're cadets for crying out loud-"

"See, that's where you're WRONG!" He shouted, pressing his fist into his chest, against his drumming heart. "I've always been able to do this, to lead people, by carrying this blade and returning these monsters to hell they crawled out of- or perhaps it's people that turned devils. It matters not to me as they're threats that brought ruin to my people, and it is my duty to rid this world of them, Apolonija-" he turned to the side, looking at the swaying dust, and the smell of rot stung his nose.

Apolonija could only stare in disbelief, her throat tight as she tried to stammer out words. "Your father -"       "Don't you DARE, even mention him. His intentions are pure enough but what he has done all this time is weigh me down, just like you are now.." Luca stated with cold hearted reassurance, his head tilting to the side to look at her once more, his gaze soon drifting up at something behind her. The mere mention of that person made his blood boil, and the word 'father' had rotted in his mouth long ago. "Now, if you do not want to help me. Stand out of my way for once.. I saw your skill more than plenty of times, I know it by heart".

The first rays of sunlight were probing at the dark belly of the sky, and serving as a waking signal for all the beasts of the land. Something neither of them paid too much attention to in their squabble.

  "Weigh..you down?" - Apolonija stammered in utter disgust and shock, a shiver running up her spine as his eyes darkened and he pulled for both of his blades. The girl can only stand frozen in place as he flies over her to engage with the first titan, devoid of any fear, or that's what he would have her believe.

The precision cut sent a slab of the nape flying and the titan stumbling to the root of the building she was standing on. From his vantage point he could see her own blades were drawn now. The titan's corpse stands between them like a burnt bridge.

"You've always followed me like a shadow, making sure I do not do anything that would risk out-doing you, right? You never seemed like that sort of person before but now I'm second guessing that.. Sure, I'm the leader out of the two of us, but who's been whispering in my ear all the while, hm? You! For all I know you've taken my father's side years ago!" His tone fluctuated high once more at the mention of his father.   "Seeing as you weren't able to stop me from this, you tried to shame me out of it. Make me think it's all worthless and stupid.."

"Luca, is that how you see it, truly? If you do, then you've got it all wrong. I swear it, on my own life, I do", Apolonija took a step towards the edge of the roof. Another thundering footsteps was heard, shaking the very buildings they were standing on. Without a second thought Luca engaged, swinging around to the nape as the titan shook and tried to swing at him, instead flapping its meaty hand at Apolonija who was quick to dodge the strike and give a fatal one back in turn. Her fingers were slippery on her handles, her throat dry with doubt, this was bad.

"Well, it's no matter to me now!" Luca huffed, looking around as more titans gathered, a smile pulling on his cheeks. Apolonija was on the house opposite of him once more. "Because I don't mind, because it's you. And you'll stand with me now, will you not? That's why you're still here?" He looked over at her, his pearly whites showing as he grinned gently, something that was unusually eerie given the situation. He had always held hope for her, and his trust in her remained absolute.

"Luca, please! We can't stay- We need to go! NOW!"

It was the last cry she gave out before debris flew all around them as an abnormal leaped onto the house Luca was on. His footing came out from under him and he was made to hang from the wall by his hooks, looking at her upside down. "I will not stop you from going nor will I hold it against you if you do decide to abandon me here. So, go! Look at my work from above at the wall. But if you stay..Apolonija, we'll fulfill our dream!"

In the back of their minds both of them knew this was only a childish hope, and one that had always burned in his head alone. Apolonija was never a part of it.

The titan's dead eyes glanced up from him and at the young woman. With her eyes fixated on the certain death before her she failed to notice another reaper approaching from behind, its face shadowed by a void where its eyes were supposed to be. She held in a whimper, bracing herself for this unexpected situation and engaging with the titan behind her, narrowly avoiding the abnormal that was now dead set on her. She could hear the whizzing of Luca using his ODM gear. And she could hear the groaning of the titans that their blades cut. The abnormal fell with their combined efforts. Even in disharmony of their minds they worked in sync. Glancing at Luca, where she previously saw confidence she now saw fear. Cold sweat washed over him.

Yet in a moment of consciousness mid-fight Apolonija could feel her gas give out, making her flight through the air take a turn downwards onto a rooftop she couldn't even get a chance to grab onto as thick fingers wrapped around her body, squeezing her. Her eyes flew open, and what she saw was terrifying. Titans upon titans raining down on them. Towering so high she could barely see the sky. Tears gathered in her eyes, panic and fear constricting around her chest like a rope, she couldn't breathe freely anymore. The warm breath that reeked of rot washed over her, spelling her doom.

Shuddering, no words came from her, too fearful to move, to think. She didn't notice until then that Luca and her were back to back, cornered.

A shuddering shout of pain came from her as the titan opened its mouth and squeezed her in its hold, its hand reeling her in. She squirmed, managing to free one hand and blade. Just as she cut off one finger, Luca flew down onto the hand after taking down another titan, placing his blade into the titan's mouth as a makeshift prop to keep it open. He looked deathly pale, his cheeks even more gaunt with the strain of his clenched teeth. His eyes shook in their sockets.

         "I've….made an error in my plan- he told me there were only a few-" he muttered as he chucked another finger off of the titan, helping her escape the tight grasp that left a strain in her breathing. She leaped onto the rooftop again, climbing higher to see Luca turn around, his ODM hook stuck within a titan's mouth and the blade broke, sending bits of it flying out. Suddenly, he yelled in agony as the titan that held Apolonija a second ago gorged down onto his leg. "NOO!!"

With his dying, struggling breaths as the titan consumed more and more of him, he threw his gas canisters to her.

       "LUCA!!!"

A thin line of blood flowed down from his lip and nose, his wheezing breaths scraping against her ears drums like nails across a chalkboard. "GO! GET OUT OF HERE! RU- AAAAAAAAAA"

His scream was soon ed with a howl of horror of her own. A blood curdling scream as sunlight poured from behind the head of the titan that just bit her friend in half.

Everything else paled in comparison, and the tearing of her throat from her scream didn't bother her nor did the notion of her own demise as much as it should. Apolonija never felt this amount of horror before, not when the Wall fell, not when she was starving in the streets, not in training - never before. Her leg hurt too much and so did her chest, and all she could manage was to press herself higher against a chimney. Watching the titans that gathered around the building reach their hands for her, trying to climb the building, everything began to blur into one messy image due to her tears. Her hands were working on replacing her gas bottles with a mind of their own as she did so many times before in training. Luca's blood splashed across her twisted face like a visor, with the sunlight reflecting off of it and nearly making it the color of melted gold.

     Luca didn't die a hero, he died young and desperate, and he died a violent death like she knew deep inside he would. But to her, he was everything. The final morning Luca would bring with him has finally come.

And with that the Scouts as well. The group made quick work of the remaining titans while she was evacuated to safety of the high walls, and soon after that into the infirmary wing due to her injuries. From this period she merely re laying in bed, rotting away and staring at the wall after sleep that brought her even more unrest. For once in a long time, her thoughts consisted of a void. A numb feeling in her bones and her very soul. The word of Luca’s death was quickly reported to his father she assumed, as the next night she woke up with a blade digging into her throat and a calloused hand clawing her mouth shut was enough to kick-start her into a state of alert once more.

It was a tall figure with sleek black hair, and a shadow for a face but she could faintly make out gaunt cheeks with sideburns. And beside him stood Luca's father. Ashbale Reed. The knife dug deeper at first sign of retaliation and any resistance was quickly extinguished from her as warmth of her body flowed down her neck. Ashbale, was so grief stricken by the new’s of his only living child dying on the battlefield, and in his blind rage he couldn’t accept that Luca perished due to his own actions. He never liked the girl his son hung out with so much, nor did he like her family. He wanted her dead, but that would be giving her too much mercy, and he hadn't dragged this assasin out of the walls for nothing.

   “For what you took from me I will not punish you the same way.. I could kill you time and time again but you’d never feel the pain I feel with the death of my son..whose life you took. And even so I don’t think I could ever stoop so low as kill another human being, even in this fashion.. But to get to the point. Apolonija Ambrosia, this is how things stand. You will the Scouts and follow them to your untimely death.. Should you return to visit them, they die. Tell this to anyone in this world. Your family will die.."

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The wound left on her throat was hard to explain to the doctors as she plucked up the strength to crawl out of the bloody bed and look for help. The doctor that stitched her skin back together hardly believed her explanation, but seeing how adamant she was on the story and how she didn’t anything else, he couldn’t pursue any other assumption. Sleep came even more scarcely to her after that night as she only waited for the day to come. Unable to talk now, and help out with the mop up, she felt like a bomb ready to explode. Guilt and fear were her bread and butter within the confined space of her hospital room and she jumped at any sound. Having to deal with her own sorrows and Ashbale’s grief was a burden that made her buckle under its weight. She yearned for a quiet place, the forests and the rivers, for her mother’s smile and to see her fields bloom with poppies and daisies. Apolonija prayed her family was doing alright. And she prayed for their forgiveness, as she knew that her ing the Scouts won’t bode well. But they’ll understand.. one day perhaps..

Leaving with a half healed wound and watching the pyre of all fallen comrades burn brought a sense of helplessness to her heart. And alone she stood to watch it burn to ash into the early hours of the morning, her look distant and turning sharper as if it drank in the piercing heat of the fire. Her quietness was off putting, and the teetering of her body towards the fire had a hand come up from behind her to grab her shoulder. The glare she gave the person behind her was unwarranted, but it served as testament to the person she was becoming. Reiner offered his condolences along with Bertholdt, who remained silent like her for the most part. Explaining that she can’t speak much was an irritating task, but once done she didn’t have to do it again as the blonde soldier would often speak on her behalf when any surface questions came up. He said he owed her, but for what she didn't know.

Even if it made things easier for her, Apolonija couldn’t get it out of her head that he was doing this out of pity, and as many things she once loved have come to become a nuisance to her, so did he. A nuisance she didn’t want to get rid of however much she sometimes wanted. And even as the night of the decision came for them all and she stood alone near the forefront of the makeshift stage, Reiner came to stand closer to her. Not shoulder to shoulder, but she couldn’t mistake the presence behind her for anyone else. His silent presence there made the ceremony just a bit more bearable, and her tears remained at bay under the veil of the torchlight. Afterwards, the duo had offered her their company, something which she begrudgingly accepted and the rest of the night followed by smoothly.

The titans she managed to kill gave her quite the score reputation however, so whatever doubts her lonesome behavior might have brought was overshadowed by that fact. In the following mission outside the safety of their Walls, she was stationed in the left wing signal squad, just ahead of Mikasa Ackerman. Their formation moved into the open territory where titans reigned superior, and no less than once has she wondered about her safety and the safety of her comrades. At one point she broke formation in favor of personally checking on Sasha's formation forward.

Upon order they were to go around the forest instead of going in. Seeing the center rank and wagons alone go into the forest after the news of the high class threat made her stand on edge while they assumed guard positions within the tall trees. It was a strained situation, one which was salvation and doom in equal weight. From there, she would swoop down closer to Sasha and Mikasa, scarcely speaking but checking on them to see if they were alright and keeping them company.

The Commander wouldn’t have pulled a move like this unless he had everything planned ahead, she told them in a weak tone in attempts to reassure them that they weren’t here on impulse or to be sitting ducks like they thought. Erwin Smith was a man whose reputation preceded him, and so it would be unwise to think he’d do something so out of character for a man like himself. Yet, she couldn’t agree with the gamble he was making here once she caught wind of it.

Their idle chit-chat was cut short by the terrifying hollering of the beast that chased them in there. Covering her ears, the roar made her feel disoriented and the ringing in her ears lingered even after silence ensued. Sasha’s words only solidified her own suspicion but as orders would stand, they had to remain in the treetops. A sudden feeling of illness washed over her gut and she began to cough, nearly blacking out with an image of a dead bird burning behind her eyelids. But that went as quickly away as it came, and she was quick to brush off Sasha and Mikasa’s concern for her. With the distant myriad of sounds she threw her focus elsewhere, to keep them safe, and for that she had to be alert. Wordlessly, she would then drop down to a lower perch and keep vigil.

Upon their retreat Apolonija couldn’t help but worry about the possibility that the fact of her return to the city could result in her family’s death. She wasn’t supposed to live through the expedition, that’s likely why Ashbale made her in the first place. For her to go MIA or for her to return in pieces would be a victory for him. Looking at all the bodies they loaded into numerous carts not only made her sick, but it made her wish she was in their place, wrapped in stained sheets of white. However much she feared to end up like it, she cared more about the wellbeing of her family and friends. So, to stay secure, upon their entry within the walls she concealed herself with her cloak and stood within the moving river of carts, horses and other Scouts, walking on foot besides her own black mount and with her head low.

Her thoughts aren’t permitted to linger on that fear for long as the mission on Annie is set in motion, with Apolonija being placed within the capture squad. As the Female Titan appeared, Apolonija advanced from her post and dealt damage to the Titan’s arms, rendering their mobility useless for a short while that got it to begin running. With Jean and Armin up ahead, Mikasa and Apolonija pursued chase from behind, taking cover when reaching Hange's location. But when Eren’s titan ed the fight, the most they could do was watch the city be obliterated by their battle.

From under the rubble of Stohess, however, surfaced Apolonija’s determination to see this to the end. This dilemma ran deeper and wider than any of them could have dreamed of, and it would take every soldier there was to push forward. And with Luca’s memory in her mind, the thought of her family, she promised to contribute her best to have this horror end.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

              "ᴰᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᶜᵃʳᵉ ᶦᶠ ʰᵉ'ˢ ᵍᵘᶦˡᵗʸ, ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᶜᵃʳᵉ ᶦᶠ ʰᵉ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗ

             ᴴᵉ'ˢ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵉ'ˢ ᵇᵃᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵉ'ˢ ᵃˡˡ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᴵ'ᵛᵉ ᵍᵒᵗ

             ᴼ ᴸᵒʳᵈ, ᴼ ᴸᵒʳᵈ, ᴵ'ᵐ ᵇᵉᵍᵍᶦⁿᵍ ʸᵒᵘ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ

               ᴰᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢᶦⁿⁿᵉʳ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵐᵉ"

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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S E A S O N    T W O

Within hours of the fight with the Female Titan, Apolonija had been dispatched to fall in with Squad Miche in the countryside of Wall Rose. With everyone safely tucked away inside, Apolonija opted to spend her time within the stables, tending to the horses. With her mind plagued with all the recent events, she couldn’t bear to stand within the whisperings of her worried comrades, and she found some semblance of peace with the horses.

Section Commander Miche Zacharias had stopped by the stables earlier that morning when she first went in with feed for the mounts. In their short conversation he advised she goes up with the rest, with her reassuring she would do so after tending to the horses. This never happens however, and instead she hears the loud command of the Section Commander for her to saddle as many horses as possible, with the others ing her soon in a rushing torrent. His sense of smell beat her sense of hearing by a pinch, and unease creeped up into her gut at the rumbling sounds of the titan’s footsteps. The titans would be on top of them soon enough, and together with Sasha she left to spread alarm to nearby settlements.

Sticking to Sasha most of the way, she worried about the possible breach and its location. Lack of proper sleep made her mind weak, to the point she recalled the many dreams she had of the walls falling and the cause behind it, merging reality with dream.

Refraining from speaking too heavily on it in order to not worry her close friend, she only asked Sasha for a short input of her thoughts on their current situation. Right before the entry to the rich forest, Apolonija split up to go with Sasha. Both of them were rather shocked to see how the village had prospered in the three years of their absence. There was too much ground to cover, so they split up, with Apolonija heading further west. There were no horses. No traces of other people. In her small investigations he could only conclude that the village managed to evacuate in time, and with that in mind she rode back to the exit of the village. The lack of sounds was nearly deafening, before a scream pierced the air and a whinny of a horse followed. By the time she rode out to the entrance of the village she saw Sasha’s lone horse, and the holes in the drawbridge. Worse came to mind and it proved well right when she looked up at the line of trees. They were still within sight, and there was no time to waste.

As she flew over the bridge atop her horse, leading Sasha’s own with her, she slid her knife out of its leather holster on her hip. Her horse reined up behind the titan, whickering as she unsaddled and bolted forward.

Apolonija circled around the titan that came to embrace Sasha in its bloody clutches. With as much precision as she could muster, she sliced through the titans achilles tendons, making it collapse back, giving them both the chance to mount their horses and retreat. And with her father in toe with his group of men, they made their way out of the forest.

Time waited for no one, and with the alarmingly dangerous situation at hand, both of them raced back to Ehrmich with the message from Commander Erwin. Weary from the past battles and running about, Apolonija grew even more rigid and quiet, her presence only being another shadow on the wall until accusations against Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover came up. With Eren pointing out how the pair in question was always there for the whole squad, Apolonija intervened and pointed out how by doing exactly that he gained all of their trust and wiped away any suspicion they might have, until now. She felt disgusted talking in the way she did, about someone who was close to her, even if all she did after Luca’s death was try and push them out. Her own words felt like bile in her throat; if these accusations were untrue, she would've betrayed their trust by saying all this. Things were especially heart aching when Reiner’s actions added up to him being the possible co-conspirator. The raw wounds left on both her mind and soul still did not heal, and this was the added salt on them. Even so, she had a duty to perform, and with that she pushed her feelings aside to give way to duty.

Later, as they rode for Utgard Castle, Eren asked her if she really believed what she said, and with a heavy heart she confessed to him that she didn’t want to believe it and that this hurt her as much as it may have hurt him, but they couldn’t get their sentiments get in the way of humanity’s safety, their friend’s safety. Mutually, they agreed on that, and pushed forward in silence.

Along with the offense team she helped the others make quick work of the remaining titans around the castle, only getting the news later that Ymir, too, was a titan shifter. This only pushed her guard up higher, and the deep sinking feeling in her gut only solidified her suspicion of Reiner and Bertholdt. Where another would have fled from them in this situation, she stuck close to them. If this was the last time they might be on friendly , she intended to use it, for the sake of memories - something she didn’t get the chance to do with Luca. Assisting Reiner up the wall she asked about his injury which seemed to be gnawing at his psyche. She exchanges a look with Bertholdt, and in hindsight he realized that she already knew.. Her mismatched eyes were truly mirrors to her being, with one eye with the Scouts and the other with the two of them, it was hard for her to choose a side, yet she did. Both sides bore such terrors and happy memories in equal weight, the mental conflict was torture.

Even as Reiner suggested she leaves with the others and they’d only take a moment, she refused on the of his injury and apparent fatigue. Things took a sharp turn for the worst in the following moments. As words of confession so seamlessly tumble out of his mouth, she wonders to herself how he could be so nonchalant with it. To confess to his crimes with seemingly no regret whatsoever. She paled in turn, a shadow falling over her eyes and she had to scold Reiner, still hoping, praying, he was making a crude joke.

“Quit that. We suffered enough losses to be making such jokes.. Bertholdt, help me with him, will you?”

Solemnly she walked up to Reiner’s side where his healthy arm was, and with a light hand on his back she attempted to get them all to move, with Eren hoping to convince Reiner of his exhaustion and cloudy mind. For a moment it almost seemed to work, until the fall of the flag that signaled all hell broke loose. Apolonija and Mikasa exchanged the same dark look, knowing what was about to happen. With sweat beading down her forehead she shoved Reiner back before racing towards Eren, giving a way for Mikasa to fly past them with her blades drawn. With the goal to get Eren as far back as she could, she braced herself for the worse with intention to put as much distance between Reiner and Bertholdt as yellow flickers surrounded them. Sharing one last stare with Reiner before their titans manifested, she could only feel her heart fall and crack. With the explosion knocking her over the wall and burning her sleeves with which she shielded herself, she engaged with ODM gear, narrowly missing the Armored Titan as he took the plunge down, Eren in his grasp.

With all sense lost of her, Apolonija couldn’t do anything but stare in disbelief as Eren’s Titan engaged with the Armor. There was no going back now. There was no humanity left within these two, and she was the spear of the people within these walls, their only hope of progressing. Along with Mikasa she went lower, and while the younger girl broke her blades against the thick shell, she tried to look for any soft spots. She felt sick even landing on the Armored Titan’s shoulder to relay some order to the desperate and battle-driven Mikasa.

“It’s useless, you’re only wasting your blades, Ackerman! Fall back- now!!” Said Apolonija right before the two saw Eren rise to meet the Armor head on, and with both of them out of the way, the titans fought. Although, Apolonija didn’t doubt the Armor wouldn’t have batted an eye if they caught themselves in the midst of it. He’d crush them.

With both Mikasa and her useless against the Armored Titan, and the falling Colossal, Apolonija shot her ODM hook into the ground, shielding Mikasa with her own body against the force of the impact and heat which scorned them both anyway. The force of it all rendered her unconscious until nearly six hours later when all the lifts had been put in place. And despite her own acknowledgement that she was in poor state, she refused to stay back, the Scouts needed all the manpower they could get, and although she was only one person it could still be a difference. And with that she rode like the devil was on her tail, or perhaps they were the devils now.

        To be *continued . . .