Response to "Asexuals Belong in AVEN"

So the debate as to whether or not asexuals, and aromantics , belong in the LGBTQ community has been going on for quite some time now. And I figured it couldn't hurt to throw my view on it in.

! TRIGGER WARNINGS !

I will be discussing past experiences a bit. This does include sexual acts.

Alright then. Let's begin.

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Asexuality: Real or Not?

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I know that I will not be able to convince those don't believe asexuality is real otherwise. And I shouldn't, because it is their opinion.

They are allowed to have it.

Just as I, and thousands or other individuals out in the world, are allowed to identify as asexual.

Your experiences shape your views. I believe that whether or not you chose to believe asexuality exists depends greatly on the your own experiences.

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If you chose to believe, and us, that's awesome. We thank you. But if you choose to not believe, that is fine. And we honestly have no say.

Just because you do or don't believe something exists does not mean you are free to undermine those who do or deny. Allow others to have their own opinions on something.

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What is AVEN?

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The 'Asexual Visibility and Education Network' is a network with two primary goals: "creating public acceptance and discussion of asexuality, and facilitating the growth of an asexual community." It hosts the largest online asexual community in the world. And contains a large archive of resources on asexuality.

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The main gist of the argument revolves around individuals believing that since asexuals don't experience sexual attraction they don't belong in the LGBTQ community.

For these individuals -which can be those who identify as asexual and those who do not- asexuality is not viewed as a sexual orientation.

However that isn't the case for everyone. Personally I view asexuality as a sexual orientation.

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Should Asexuals only be in AVEN?

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I feel this should be the decision of the individual at hand. If someone who identifies as asexual wants to solely be a member of AVEN, that's fine. But if someone chooses to be either part of the LGBTQ community or even both of them, then they should be able to do so.

It is their own decision, no one elses.

I personally view myself as a member of the LGBTQ community. And am unable to see myself as part of AVEN. Thats my own view on my own personal situation and life.

If someone views their own situation and life similar or different from mine, then it's fine. It is theirs.

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Subcommunity

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I honestly think that AVEN should be treated more as sub part the LGBTQ community. Similar in the sense to how the transgender community is.

I feel this is possible one of the better solutions to finding a common ground.

It would allow those who see themselves as part of the LGBTQ community, or both, to do so. While at the same time, allowing those who do not see asexuals as part of the community to keep their own view.

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I've noticed some people who are LGBTQ -these being those who are homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, ect.- refer to people who are transgender as their siblings.

What's to say the same couldn't be done to asexuals?

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What do Asexuals Experience?

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When discussions as to whether or not asexuality is real occur, topics of obsession and discrimination are often found.

I want to discuss this. And I want to do so using my own personal experiences.

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An important thing to keep in mind about oppression and/or discrimination is

Just because you don't experience something does not mean it does occur.

I do not experience the same mistreatment as other LGBTQ people. However that does not mean I have not.

Just as my own racial mistreatment is different someone else's. My, and many other asexuals', mistreatment in regards to our sexual orientation is different from someone else's.

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People in my personal life have told me in graphic and explicit detail the sexual they fantasized doing to me. Not only have people requested erotic photos, that we sext, or even that we video/voice chat to "have some fun"; but they have even gotten physical.

I have had to quick a job because a supervisor and their very foward desire. And I am not talking about them petting my thigh or grabbing my ass. No. They actually tired to initiate explicit acts. If my older brothers had not drilled self defense into me, I am very positive the situation would have ended differently.

Please keep in mind, this happened when I had just recently found that asexual was orientation, and began identifying as it. This experience was not what caused me to be asexual. Nothing did, it's simply who I am.

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I have had to cut personal friends out of my life because I did not feel safe. I have have had people tell me that i haven't meet the right person, that they could "fix" me, and that it is nothing more then a phase.

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No I do not face the same oppression and/or discrimination as other LGBTQ people. But you also don't experience the oppression and/or discrimination I face.

Just as I do not undermine yours, please do not undermine ours.

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Final Words

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This whole debate as to whether or no asexuality is real, and if asexuals belong in the LGBTQ community is doing more harm then good. This mistreatment can be found on both ends of the argument.

Making others hurt and not feel accepted is not benefiting anyone. It's past time we stopped.

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farewell earthlings