Identity

Maybe TW. LGBTQ+ Topics.

This has been something I've thought a lot about recently. I even wonder how different i could be if I was brought up with different people and more information.

Growing up, I would hate being called a girl. But I'd hate being called a boy. My friends would get frustrated and say "then what do you want me to say!" And "you can't be neither!" So eventually I settled on what I was, what everyone told me I was: a girl, a tomboy. Then I hated being mistaken as a boy for the way I dressed. In high school I cut my hair and it didn't help the case but being called he still offended me.

I'm out of high school now and I don't really care much. If I'm misgendered Irl, it's by people who don't know me and I just shrug it off. I am a girl and I don't really wear boy clothes anymore but it happens. The only thing is that I hate shaving. I only shave if I need to wear shorts or go swimming and I probably haven't shaved in a year or two because I'd just rather not. But I am not comfortable to share this or go out without shaving in shorts or a swimsuit.

Enough about that... More identity stuff ..

I think I might be pansexual? That's where you like both genders but also don't care about their identity right? It's like "gender blind". I think I explained that wrong. Both sexes, any gender is what I think I meant? I grew up in a small town. We literally had bisexuality, straight, or gay/lesbian.

When everything else started getting into the mix it was hard for people to accept. I never struggled with accepting anyone but I just don't want to offend them so I try to look into things and have conversations with them so I know what to do in person if that makes sense. At first, people explained pansexual as loving anything,even inanimate objects and marrying things like windows lol.

But I think I am Pan? I'm not going to judge by their sex or gender or identity. I'm going to judge by their personality and character. I'm going to fall in love based on how they treat me and our interactions. That brings me to the next thing...

Asexuality...

I think im also asexual. I do not feel sexual attraction at all toward everyone. This includes past relationships. It just isn't there. I'm pretty sure on this one at least and I am pretty sure I know what it is.

anyway yeah. That's my vent.. I don't have anyone to spill this on . Though I'm thinking about trying my counselor.. not sure yet.

-lucid